Unclear messages.
Wrong Ideas.
I'm forgiven.
Cover up.
For you.
I'll pretend.
We made our way down to a little cafe down the street from the hospital. It was only a few minutes away from the hospital meaning that if anything were to happen, we could run back to the hospital immediately.
Lucas pulled out my chair for me and I could feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks. It was like all of my emotions were finally clear. I finally felt like things were right.
Half way through our meal I heard the bell on the door chime and I turned around. It turned out that we should have walked a little farther to the next cafe.
"So I guess this means that we are in fact broken up." The boy practically at Lucas crossed his arms.
"Dave..." His name came out as a whisper. I don't even think that you could call it a whisper. It was so soft that I could barely hear myself. "You said that you were done. I assumed that you meant that you were done with us."
Lucas flinched at the word 'us.' Dave walked closer and smiled. "Yeah, I guess that was what I said. I just didn't expect you to move on so fast. I kind of expected it though."
I turned around my chair and my eyes followed Dave's. "You expected what?"
"On some level, I knew that you liked Lucas more than you were leading on. It was kind of obvious- the way that you looked at him or the way that you would sometimes talk about him." Dave chuckled. "I knew that you weren't really into me an even though I liked you in the beginning, I didn't feel that spark.
There was always that spark that was missing. My heart never jumped out of my chest when I saw you. I never stole secret glances during class or saw you glimmer in the sunlight. That spark was never there.
I took advantage of you and I'm sorry. I just wanted to date the Riley Matthews. The girl that everyone wants. The sweet and innocent girl who was pure. I wanted someone so bad that I couldn't think strait and I'm sorry."
I was left speechless. "You don't need to be sorry. I used you too. If anything, this means that we put our relationship on good terms and yeah, I wasn't that into you. Sorry for being so honest but you were honest with me so I feel like I should be honest with you."
Dave nodded. "Thank you. I wish you guys the best by the way. I see the way he looks at you, Riles. If I even come close to feeling that way about a girl, I'll be one of the luckiest men in the world. Well, besides Lucas of course."
Lucas laughed and spoke up. "Thanks, man."
"Can I just ask for you to do one thing?" Dave smiled and I nodded. "Please just be cautious about how public you g with your relationship. I know that you shouldn't care about what other people say but there are things that people will say that will break that confidence and I don't want that to happen to you. People already say despicable things about you and I don't want those things to get worse. You don't have to listen to me but I hope that you do. I don't care that people know that were broken up but people will judge. Hell, they're already judging. Just think about it."
Dave patted Lucas on the back and went to the counter to order his drink. We waited until Dave left the cafe to even dare to speak.
We picked at our food and sipped out coffee. It was awkward. My ex boyfriend ad my boyfriend(both of which happened within a hour) were in one room. Granted, it went much better than expected but still.
Lucas was the first one to speak. "What's the word for what just happened?"
I laughed. It was kind of a way for me to fill the air with anything but tension. Kind of like a way for me to think of an answer to a question. "Absolutely positively insane."
Lucas raised his eyebrows in agreement. "Yeah. It was kind of weird but it's great knowing that there won't be any ex boyfriend drama."
"And what about girlfriend drama?" I picked around at the last bit of my muffin. Lucas raised his eyebrow and scratched his head. "Maya. Were friends now and I just want you to be comfortable with everything that comes with me. I know it sounds dramatic and that it sounds so television like but-"
Lucas grabbed my hand. He rubbed my thumb softly as my words faded into nothing. He was pure distraction. His touch was my blind spot.
On some level, I believed that he knew that rubbing my hand would shut me up and well, it worked.
"Lucas Friar, you will be the death of me." I laced my fingers into his.
"Well, that's kind of the point." He smirked.
We sat there for a little while just being together. We talked for what felt like an endless forever. The good kind of forever. The kind of forever that made really cheesy romantic movies cheesy.
I started to really know Lucas. Things finally felt comfortable. Life was finally right. We could talk without thing being awkward or tears being shed and it felt absolutely amazing.
We talked for a whole hour without even realizing that time was flying by. I could talk to him until the end of time. There was never a dull moment when I was with him and well, it did sort of help that he never let go of my hand once during our talk.
"Can I ask you something?" I whispered. Lucas looked kind of freaked out but tried his hardest not to show it. "Do you thin that were moving too fast. Don't get me wrong, I am head over heels for you but do you think that everything is just happening?"
"No, I think that we've been through so much as friends and as more than friends. I think that this is just everything that we have been feeling since before everything with Maya. We've bottled up our feelings for each other and I opened that bottle just a little and everything jut started flowing out." Lucas kept rubbing my thumb. It was calming me down a little but the insecure side of me kept screaming to run away.
"And how do you feel about me?" I bit the inside of my bottom lip.
"How do I feel about you?" Lucas took his free hand and rubbed it through his hair. "That day that we went to the park in freshman year. It was about five o'clock and the sun was just starting to go down. You handed me your camera and ran off into a bed of flowers.
Your hair turned golden and your eyes became this shade of brown that I fell in love with. You ran around the park as I chased you. You had a dress on and it was flowing in the wind. Everything was so perfect- you were so perfect. That's when I knew. That's when I realized that I loved you."
I felt a tear run down my cheek. It was the first time that someone actually had a reason to love me more than just as a friend or a family member. In the end, he chose me, and that's all that mattered.
