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love sessions

Tylers POV
11 days

"How are things going?" Josh says in a loving and caring tone, as him and Mel sit across from me on my hospital bed.

"I'm fine." When's the last time you looked at yourself. You're not fine, never have been, and never will be.

"Shut up."I mutter under my breath trying to silence the faceless voice constantly talking to me.

"What was that, Tyler?" Mel questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking"

"I really missed you." Melanie interjects in a warm voice, quickly changing subjects.

Chuckling nervously I say, " It hasn't even been two days."

"I know but that's like 4 weeks in best friend time!"

Creating small talk over school, the time seems to fly by. Melanie leaves the room to go get dinner, but Josh apparently isn't hungry, and stays with me instead.

He looks up at me with a soft, faint smile. I take notice of his tired eyes and messy hair, "Josh, you look odd. Are you alright?"

Sighing, "Yeah I'm just... a little tired."

"Are you sure?" I pester.

Before Josh has a chance to reply a familiar voice worms it's way into my ears. I occupy your head 24/7. You'd think by now I'd know how your brain works. However I can't believe how unbelievably stupid you are acting right now. He's not okay. And it's because of you. You suck the energy out of anyone who dares to get involved.

"SHUT UP!" I cry out holding my ears and breathing heavily.

"Tyler, what's going on? What's happing?" Josh exclaims, extremely alarmed.

The faceless voice in my head goes silent... for the time being.

"Tyler, it's okay... You can talk to me." Josh comforts.

I go quiet, glaring down at my hands in my lap trying my best to ignore Josh.

"Tyler."

"Josh, you wouldn't understand....no one does. They all think I'm just another fucked up kid."

Shaking his head indignantly, "I would never think that."

I stagger to my feet and take a deep breath as he stands with me. He backs up putting a good two feet of space between us.

"Josh, I trust you... that's saying a lot considering the only other person I trust is Mel. And I don't know how much longer I'm going to be around, so I might as well tell some one."

"Tyler? What do you mean, whats going on?"

A shaky breathe leaves my mouth before I continue, "Josh... its a voice."

"I don't understand..." Josh says, a worried look apon his face.

"Its a voice... in my head.." I rub my upper left arm with my right hand, looking down at the floor, "It tells me I'm worthless, that I don't have purpose. That no one cares about me." Beginning to cry, I end, "That I shouldn't be alive anymore"

Josh tugs me almost roughly into an embrace tears stream down his face.

"It hurts, Josh. It hurts because I know it's true... No one cares about me. I don't belong here."

Keeping a tight grip on my shoulders, he pulls apart from me, with tearful eyes, "Tyler... You know that's not true. I care about you so much. You mean so much to me. You're my everything."

And with that, I lock lips with the grocery store boy for a sweet few seconds.

Breaking apart, he stares down at my lips and blushing red face. He smiles cutely before going in for another kiss. Lasting much longer than the last, Josh hugs my body close and I lose my all my sanity in the folds of his warm sweatshirt.

Before Melanie gets back we've straightened ourselves out, and pick up a casual conversation. We want to keep this to ourselves. Our secret amongst secrets.

Little honey pie ,

I'm broken but I'll try ,

To fix you along with me tonight ,

I won't stop until we're fine.

((I'm Broken But I'll Try - flatsound))