Secrets revealed

10) In love with a monster

Arriving back at the tower after my fun drink with Alex I flop straight onto the couch and turn the tv on. I immediately regret it. Flashing onto the screen the news channel broadcasts a video of me Steve and Ivan earlier today at my picnic from hell with the big bold title

Black widows version of a picnic?

Are they having a joke? The media still seems to baffle me on how they come up with these absolutely ridiculous titles with ridiculous story's but still manages to make people care about it, I swear there's some sort of magical conspiracy going on here. Turning the tv off I huff and chuck the remote
"It's been a long day" I say not realizing  I said it aloud just to surprisingly get an answer back
"You and me both" he says flopping onto couch next to me
"Steve I'm sorry about earlier I just-"
"I know I don't blame you if that was red skull or anyone half as scary as Ivan I would have done the same thing" I call his bluff straight away. I know he means well trying to cheer me up saying what I did was justifiable, that I had my reasons but in the end if that was anyone else in my situation they wouldn't of done what I did. I enjoyed the feeling of watching the life drain out of him and I enjoyed knowing the fact that I would be the one to do it. The old me the red room assassin me would think that's okay, would think its okay to feel like that every kill she made but the new me, the better me well I struggle to justify any of it, me attacking him, nearly killing him and making a public spectacle of it none of that is the right thing to do and I know Steve thinks the same way, he would never do that to anyone and that's what hurts the most he's in love with a monster who's always in the end going to disappoint him and I don't want that to happen I can't do that to him. I won't.
"Look Steve it's ok to say it what I did was reckless and well stupid, doing it in public like that, if Tony didn't have his army of lawyers I'd be in jail right now" he furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with such an innocent and desperate look
"I'm not saying it was right but I'm not blaming you for it either for everything he's done it would take a very nice and forgiving guy to not kill the bastard" he says with a smile, I smile back but then realise what he said
"Did you just say bastard whoa Steve calm down" I say whilst chuckling
"Are you ever gonna let that go?"
"Nope never" I say pulling him into a kiss 
"Quick question though um what happened  after-"
"After our encounter with Ivan? Yeah Well I practically dragged him to the helicarrier and shield have him in  custody as we speak questioning him" I nod in reply
"I might just have pay him a visit tomorrow" i say
"Great I'll come with you"
"No it's okay I've got this I don't need your protection golden boy" I say whilst walking out the room with a smirk plastered on my face
"Never call me that again" I here him shout in the background. I chuckle, he always finds a way to make me smile even when there's nothing too smile about that's one of the things that I love about him his ability to make me laugh, after all very few people know how to do that.

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