They Told Me I Was Gone ~Joshua Dun FanFiction~

Night Falls With Gravity

There were lights everywhere. Every single building had lights on them. Most of them were classic white christmas lights but others were colorful and bright and fun. People dressed as Santa and elves were walking around and there were decorations everywhere. It was so much to look at all at once, and I didn't know where to start, so I looked at Josh instead. He was walking behind me because I was so far ahead of him in excitement. He had his black hoodie on under a black jacket since it was freezing here. He had on a red beanie, too, and jeans with Vans on as always. His hands were, as usual, in his pockets, and he was looking directly at me when I turned to him.

"Do you like it?" I asked him. He had a slight smile on his face but he was clearly not enjoying this as much as I was. It was the first time I had ever been out of Ohio and there was so much to see, but he didn't seem too fazed by any of it.

His smile grew on his face and I smiled in return, "It's amazing." He answered. I turned around so he wouldn't see me blush.

Josh had this effect on me, the ability to make me smile and get butterflies by doing nothing but answering my question. I had spent years on and off medication, with constant therapy trying to find something that would make me feel but there was nothing. Nothing until Josh came along. If someone had told me a year ago, that a boy sat down at my table at The Bean and changed my life in a matter of months, I probably wouldn't have reacted at all and gone back to reading my book. But that happened. Josh makes me feel something every time I talk to him and that's something my own family couldn't even figure out how to do and he doesn't even have to try. Josh just makes me happy and there was no way to explain it. Despite being my only friend, he was my best friend and I never thought I would have that.

He was my best friend and for some reason that left a pang in my chest. The downfall of these new emotions was that I didn't always know what some of them mean. Like I can't understand why I feel kind of sad when I think of Josh sometimes, and how he's such a good friend. That's a good thing, so why am I upset about it? I don't think the answer would ever be found.

"Shae?" Josh said, trying to get my attention. I stopped walking and turned around but Josh was still walking and walked straight into me, knocking me back a bit. "Sorry." He muttered, looking down into my eyes. A strange feeling shuttered down my spine but all I could pay attention to where his dark eyes. "Why don't we go look at the giant Christmas tree? It's kind of a far walk but I think you'll like it." He said with a smile on his face. My heart was racing and all I could do was nod and walk by his side toward this giant Christmas tree he was talking about.

Walking there was amazing. The sun was setting even more and the yellow sky turned orange. More lights turned on and it was like the sun never went down. By the time the sky was purple, Josh told me we were only a few blocks away from the tree. He seemed oddly jumpy and excited about this tree which in turn made me more excited, but maybe it was just being with him.

As we were walking, I saw a small gift store with little Christmas decorations and ran inside. I walked inside and looked around, thinking of something my mom might like as her gift for Christmas. I found a small snow globe of New York City with lights all over the buildings and I knew it was perfect. I bought it for her, then put it in the backpack I was carrying around, right next to the gift I had for Josh, wrapped neatly in red paper with a little snowman sticker that I wrote his name on.

As we turned a corner out of the gift shop, I saw the tree, covered in lights and decorations, towering over the ice rink below it. People were everywhere, families with little kids and groups of teenagers and couples holding hands as they skated or walked around. The sky was a navy blue, almost black, and I knew that in Ohio there would be stars everywhere but in New York City they were drowned out by the lights.