They Told Me I Was Gone ~Joshua Dun FanFiction~

For Us to Think is to be Alive

"So, Shae, what are your plans for Christmas?" Maya asked me.

This was something I had actually been thinking about quite a bit. It was the first week of December, so I still had a little more time before Christmas to prepare myself. My family doesn't do anything special for the holidays since we have no one to visit. I don't have any grandparents or aunts or uncles to go see and until now I didn't have any friends to give presents to.

"Nothing. But I've been thinking about giving Josh a present. I don't know what to get him though, I've never gone Christmas shopping for anyone other than my parents. I haven't actually gotten them anything in a few years." I felt bad for never getting anything for my parents for any holidays or birthdays, but I just didn't know what to get them. They were very ordinary people and neither of them really had any hobbies or interests that really stood out to me.

She nodded, thinking for a second, "It's good that you want to get Josh something. It's a sign of affection and that's a lot of progress for you."

She was right, it was a lot of progress. I never really showed a whole lot of emotion; mostly because I didn't really have any. I didn't know how to show affection on the rare occurrences that I did feel it. I couldn't remember the last time I hugged my mother, because there was never a reason for me to. I never wanted to show someone that I cared about them or liked them or even just liked their company, but I really liked Josh.

"I just don't know what to get him." I said, ignoring her comment out loud. I knew it was something for me to think about, but I didn't want to talk to her about it just yet.

"Well what does he like?" She asked. I sat and thought for a moment about all the things I knew about Josh.

I knew that he played the drums and he really liked music I just didn't know what kind of music, only a few songs and they were all different genres. I didn't know anything about drums either so I didn't know what to get for him. I knew that he liked hoodies a lot because he always wore them and once he told me that they were his favorite thing to wear.

"I don't know." I said. I knew a few things about Josh but I didn't know enough to get him something that he would really like.

"Is there anything special you think he might like? Maybe you can introduce him to something new." She suggested.

That was when I started thinking. I thought about all the things Josh had told me and then all the things I never told him. I never told him my favorite book, my favorite song or color. But I knew that he didn't read much and he loved Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes because of the drums and his favorite color was red. Maybe I could get him something that told him more about me than he knew.

A few ideas came to mind, but one stood out to all the rest. It was something no one really knew about me, because no one ever asked.

"I think I have an idea." I just hoped that he liked it.