Just Friends?

Chapter 18

"I wish I had told you sooner." Jay caresses my face with his palms and places his lips onto mine. "I guess what's happened to you has finally cleared out my mind."

"Just get over here and kiss me." As soon as his lips crash into mine I feel the pain go away. It feels so real, so right.
With each kiss our burning passion grows stronger and stronger. It feels like nothing could tear us apart, like this what we were waiting for, this is what all the pain has lead up to. It was worth it.

"Your so fucking hot" his tongue rolls down my neck which cause me to tingle. His breath is hot on my skin which makes me feel weak. His hands cross my back and skillfully find there way to my bra. He is able to clip it off in one swift motion. His eyes scan my body, I can tell pleased with what he sees, but he waits for my approval. I nod my head slowly as he carefully holds me and shows me how he actually cares.

***

I wake up disoriented, there is a face hovering over me. I wait until his or her face focus'. I except, hope it to be Jay after waking up from my dream. It's Alex. What is he doing here?

"Oh my God your up!" Alex smiles softly and sits on the chair at the corner of the room.

"Where's Kylie?" I ask trying to regain my eyesight.

"They went to get some Chinese food across the street." I light up when I hear the word "they" thinking that Jay has come as well.

Trying to say cool I ask "who's they?"

"Alexis and Kylie. Your two partners in Crime. Who else?"

"Oh I don't..." I say lifelessly.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" Alex changes his tone slightly indicating that its not small talk material.

"Shoot." I reach for the control on the side of the Hospital bed.

"Why didn't you tell us anything?" He becomes serious. Looking at me with shiny eyes.

"I don't know." I sniffle since the nasal cannula tickles nose as they hiss, forcing oxygen into my nose.

"Yes you do." I stay silent. "It just would have been nice to know if you were..." He gulps. "Ill"

"I guess I didn't think it was that important. Honestly." I look at him and he looks hurt, which makes me feel guilty.

"That sounds like a load of shit. Of course it's important." He shakes his head and I can tell that he wants to say something. "Like what if something happened to you?." I stayed silent not knowing how I could possibly respond to him.

"I'm sorry." I shift uncomfortably in my bed and look to the window which is to the right of me, Alex is sitting to the left of me.

"Did you even think about what it would do to us if you.." He gulped not being able to say the next word.

"I didn't know that you cared i'm so..."

"Of course I care." He blinks quickly trying to hold back tears. "I know that we aren't that close, but we used to be." When we were all in elementary school, Alex and I were actually very close, him and I were best friends before Kylie and I were. We would build the sickest pillow forts together where we would spill all of our secrets. We even had a fake relationship and everything. As we got older, him and I grew further apart as Kylie and I grew closer.

"I know. I'm sorry." Tears fall from my eyes and my eyes burn from fighting off the tears.

"I care about you Mia." He blurts out. I look at him, when he says this he glares at the floor and is on the verge of crying. When he says this I am caught by surprise and am filled with remorse. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you."

"Oh Mia, you're up!" Kylie and Alexis bounce into the room and engulf me. I look into Alex's eyes and nod then wipe away the tears that have slid down my cheeks.

"We have so much to tell you" Alexis and Kylie squeal oblivious to the fact that Alex and I just had a moment. I am thankful at this point.
Kylie situates herself at the foot of the already narrow bed, while Alexis stands next to the bed awkwardly, realizing there is no space.
She turns to Kylie "here" she gives her the bag clearly full of Chinese food. They set it up on the table.

Kylie blurts out. "So Sasha and Jay broke up." Normally I would be interested in the topic but right now I care to see what Alex is thinking.

"Ahuh." I say. They go on which makes Alex uninterested, I watch him as he gets up and leaves the room shuffling down the hall. Alexis then reaches for the chair and pulls it closer to the bed.

"OMG can I fix your hair so that you look less."

"Dead?" I finish off for her. Her and Kylie look at each other and then at me pitiful.

"No that's not what I meant." Alexis tries to patch it up.

"Al it's cool, we were all thinking it." We laugh and they continue to gossip while I listen and let them because for right now its comforting, and I just need to feel like a normal person not someone who is currently dying.