Sofia the first: Mean Princesses

'Nice Body'

I woke up to the sound of a screeching Amber. It was basically like waking up to a nightmare.

I tiptoed out of my bed and slipped into the dimly-lit halls until I discovered feeble candle light shining through the small crack of a door. The source of the noise.

Among the inaudible voices I heard, I recognized Amber's whiny voice.

"But, Daddyyyy! I can't go to school like this!"

There was school?

I ran to a nearby gigantic window and parted the curtains a bit to uncover a lavender dawn sky mingled with a soft shade of yellow.

Excrement (that's how we used to say "oh sh*t" back in my day). I had completely forgotten about school. I hardly had any energy left because I woke up in between my sleep, haunted by the image of Amber's face on my reflection. It's creepier than you think. It's not funny at all.

That's when I heard footsteps coming closer that I rushed back to bed to look like I was sleeping the whole time.

The covers were carelessly thrown over my head and I whipped my head like a rockstar to make it to look like I was tossing and turning.

The door creaked open and Violet came in.

"M-m'lady, wakey wakey. Time for school," she said in her meek voice as she held my dress in front of me.

My eyes fluttered open slowly in an idiotic, exaggerated attempt to seem sleepy. I staggered toward her like a drunkard and asked stupidly (and purposely) in a sluggish voice, "Aren't I going to take a bath?"

"M'lady never takes a bath. I should know because then you'd have to remove your amulet."

"Oh... that's right..."

"Euh, are you all right, Princess?"

I snatched my dress from her and kicked her forcefully out the door. "YES, I AM ALL RIGHT! NOW LEAVE MY ROOM! I DON'T WANT A FILTHY PEASANT TO WATCH ME WHILE I CHANGE! SCRAM BEFORE I SPREAD NEWS OF YOUR CRUSH ON BAILEYWICK TO THE REST OF THE HOUSEHOLD!"

I slammed the door like a boss behind what sounded like a weeping Violet.

I put on my proper lavender gown and my purple backpack, which I packed with all my homework besides Magic class.

I was about to go to breakfast until I saw Amber power-walking to the dining room with her head buried in her hands.

The strangest part was that she sported a lime green overcoat and a pair of white culottes and buckled shoes...

What in the world was she doing with James's clothes?

I heard her shriek from across, "Is there no larger sized dress?! I can't go to school wearing a prince's garment! I have to wear something fashionable!"

"Now, darling, you're going to have to endure this just a bit. We'll figure something out soon enough," I heard Mom say.

"Your mother's right, Amber," Dad agreed.

"SHUT UP, SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER!"

"Now, listen here, you snotty brat," Mom retaliated. "You got yourself into this mess and it's no one's fault but yours. No one is responsible for you getting fat!"

"Oh, Miranda, you're so adorable when you act assertive," Dad suddenly said.

"Oh, Rolly, you look ten times more delicious than jiggly wiggly pudding when you compliment me."

Then, I heard them smooching passionately. I also heard Amber choking and throwing up her breakfast all over the floor. Mom pulled away from the kiss and began scolding Amber, but it was too inaudible because I hid in my room again to avoid getting caught.

Clover, Mia, Robin had just barely entered my room through their hole.

"'Sup, guys?" I inquired coolly.

"Whoa that was wild, whatever it was that was happening in the dining room," Clover said.

"I know, right?!" I answered. "I never knew Mom and Dad made out like that!"

"No, silly," Robin interjected. "Clover meant all the arguing and whatnot."

"Speaking of Whatnaught, I think he might have a disorder because he never talks," Mia added.

Everyone just learned to ignore whatever Mia said because her head is literally 99.9% air and 0.1% brain, just like Clio's.

"Oh my gosh. Guess what?" I said, beaming with excitement.

"What?" They all said in unison.

"Amber is officially fat and has to wear James's clothes to school! Isn't that great? We're two-thirds through our plan now!"

Clover took out the plan we made a few months ago and crossed out nice body.

Then, we all high-fived, or in this case, high-threed, and even high-foured in victory.

But it was quickly dampened when Clover suddenly pointed out, "Hey, Princess, what's that golden thing on your head?"

"What golden thing?" I asked.

Robin and Mia held up a mirror to me and I saw it hanging from the side of my head.

"Oh, it's probably a piece of string or a messed up spell yesterday at school," I said casually.

But I felt uneasy when I yanked out  the golden piece that was rooted to my scalp.

A/N: I apologize for the long hiatus. I almost considered delaying this story, but here it is now that I've found time during my Thanksgiving break!