Chapter 1: A little backstory and beginning

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Elsa's POV

Well this is great. Exactly what I wanted my life to turn out like ... You can taste the sarcasm can't you? Sorry but there'll probably be a lot more of where that came from.

I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve the kind of crap the world had planned out for me. I'm not sure when I began to realise that my life sucked. Was it when I got my first F? Was it when I entered a new school and had no friends throughout the years? Was it when my parents divorced? Was it when I figured out I had depression and anxiety?

I could go on and on forever about lots of depressing crap but I'm pretty sure you don't wanna hear about that just yet.

Instead, I can start at the beginning. Oh no not at the beginning of my depressing life. No. I wanna start about how little by little, it began to get better. But I guess you're going to need a little backstory.

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A/N 16 is the legal age of consent where I live unless it happens between a 16 year old and a person over 18.

I'm anti social. After moving to a new school on the opposite side of the country it was hard to make new friends. In all honesty in my old school we had known each other since we were toddlers. So I clung to the people I knew and were familiar with. I didn't have to make an effort to make new friends.

Outside of my friend group people were uncomfortable with me. I was weird, one minute being happy and over exaggerating, the next I'd be silent or upset and that would creep people out. I wasn't good at making friends.

This was proven in my new school. I didn't get close to people and they didn't want to get close to me. They had their own friends while mine never called or texted me. A part of me wanted friends, but I think I was afraid it'd turn out like my old ones. I'll explain more about that at a different time.

For years I'd spend my lunches in the library or on the field, not talking to anyone and no one talking with me. The only way I'd learn my classmate's name would be if I were put in a group.

Often I would get bullied, but I just let it happen. It wasn't anything serious like death threats. Just a few spiteful name calling here, just a few trips and collisions with lockers there. Maybe a tad of cyber bullying but that too will be got to later.

Anyway, one day I was just tired. tired of everything and everyone. I didn't want to do anything at all, not sleep, eat or read. That was also the day my parents decided it was good for me to get out of the house. Lucky me.

They wouldn't let me back in for hours! That's gotta be abuse or neglect or something right?!

I was just walking around the town until it became dark. Eventually as I was walking down a street I saw a house that was lit up, music blaring out of doors and windows, the smell of alcohol hit me from here. Where the hell were the police and why weren't they doing their job?

Curiosity struck me as I walked froward. I had never been to a party like this. The last one I went to was at the wacky warehouse. I know it was sad.

I should've kept walking, maybe my life wouldn't suck as much. But if I hadn't gone there, maybe my life wouldn't have gotten better.

All I remember from that night was going into that house feeling empty, ignored and alone. And then, he came up to me offering a red cup filled with alcohol. I shouldn't have taken it. I shouldn't have the next and the next one after that. But like I said.

I was tired.

His attention made me feel better, the drunk state made me feel warm while the feeling of freedom and acceptance was welcoming. I wanted it to last forever.

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