Sharing My Hell

Being Chosen

I look around at the room of people moving around me, the police picked me up and sent me to this orphanage and I haven't been here very long. All the kids are cleaning themselves up and some of the girls are even doing their hair. I look at my own long auburn hair and frown at the tangles. One of the nuns that work here walk over to my cot.

"Kaylee, please try to clean yourself up as best you can. Today families come to adopt children" she smiles kindly at me and I nod slowly.

I get up and go to one of the restrooms to try to clean myself up. I take a shower, cold of course. Cold is better than no shower at all so i cant complain. I scrub dirt and even dried blood off my small frame then try to work some conditioner into my frizzy tangled mop of hair.

When I decide I can't get any cleaner without more soap, I get out and into one of the dresses the nuns insist the girls wear. I bite my lip and look at myself in the mirror, my blue eyes look bluer against the cleanness of my pale skin. The nuns say i must come from Ireland but i don't know where that is at all.

I pick up the brush and try to at least get my hair presentable. Eventually the knots all comb out and I've started crying from the pain of combing through my own hair.

The head nun makes an announcement for everyone to go outside and line up, so I take one last look at myself and sigh before joining the other kids outside.

Many families look at everyone, and the smaller kids get chosen quickly. By noon its just teenagers left sitting in lines. I have braided my hair 4 or 5 times always taking it back out when families walk past me.

Two more hours pass and I have started to braid the other girls' hair as well. They all thank me when I finish and I shrug them off.

An older couple walks into the yard, bpth look hopeful and are in their late 30's at least. The woman is very sad and her hair is tied back. The man holds her close like she might fall apart. I watch this couple, they are different than the other couples. The other couples had kids at home. This couple has never had a child of their own. You can tell they've tried a lot, by the way the woman is already crying.

I just braid Nadine's hair for her like she asked and watch this couple. All the little kids have been gone for hours, but this couple looks around anyway. The woman looks at Nadine while I braid her hair and I smile a little.

I hope they take Nadine, she deserves a caring home. I don't tell Nadine though, just in case they don't take her.

The woman points Nadine out to her husband who smiles and nods a little. I smile more and finish braiding. I sit facing forward again while yhe couple goes to talk to the nuns. After a few minutes the couple walks over and right past Nadine to me. I frown and look up at them as the man speaks. His wife is crying again.

"Kaylee, right? Your name is Kaylee..." He sounds nervous and unsure. I nod slowly and his wife smile at me.

The woman speaks past her tears "Kaylee, I'm going to be your new mother now. And this is your father"

I glance at Nadine who smiles for me. The couple hugs me and I just sit there very unsure. Finally they pull away and the man speaks. Now he is crying too "Kaylee, why don't you come home now?"

I bite my lip before I start smiling at the word home. I've never had a home. I nod and stand up. They both wrap an arm around me and we all walk to their car.