You only knew me when you needed me. The moment you got what you wanted, you suddenly go missing without a trace, only to come back when you needed something from me again. And it's so foolish of me to tolerate such attitude. It's so foolish of me to let you take advantage of my kindness. I never even realized that I'm already making a huge mistake just by trusting you over and over.
Whenever you needed something from me, you would approach me nicely. You would simply ask how I'm doing, and at first I would be glad because I thought you actually cared. But then after a few minutes of chatting here and there, you'd suddenly change the subject and tell me the real purpose of why you even approached me in the first place. And I would get disappointed. My smile would disappear; for I would realize that you only wanted to ask a favour, but of course, being my usual self, I would nod my head yes and do whatever you asked me to do. Even if my mind is yelling at me, telling me that I should learn how to say no, telling me that you're not worth it, I'd still choose what my heart wants me to do, and that is to say yes to you.
I know I should stop. I know I only end up hurting myself in the end, and it's not getting me anywhere near good. Still, I can't force myself to do what my mind wants. My heart is strong, but with you it always seems to crumble.
I love you so much that even I cannot force myself to just press the brakes and stop on my tracks. If only I can delete these feelings permanently, I would've done it by the minute. I would, you see? Because I hate myself for loving you even if I already look foolish, even if I'm already tired of trying and risking things.
You only know me when you need me. And whenever you need me, I would always be there in one blink, even if I know full well that you're taking me for granted.
You only know me when you need me. But you know what hurts all the more? It's the fact that whenever I'm the one who needs you, you're not even there to listen. You're not even willing to risk anything, or do half as much as I do for you.
You only know me when you need me. You never make an effort to even ask me how I'm doing unless you need anything. I actually hoped this would change, you see? I really, really wished that you would at least show me that you genuinely care for me.
But you didn't. And I know you wouldn't.
And even if it hurts like hell, I have to be strong enough to accept it. I need to fight whatever feelings I have to protect my heart from being broken.
I have to accept the fact that not all people will appreciate you. That no matter how good, or kind you may be, some people will never give you value until they lose you.
————x
i know, i know, that was kinda deep. i'm not really the type of person to write these kinds of stuff (u guys prolly know that bc most of my books are light & random) but idk, it's just something i've come to write a few nights ago. do comment your thoughts! ♡
also, is there anyone here who's a fan of this band called day6??? i just listened to some of their songs a few days back and OMFG they're awesome! they're worth a listen go check em out if you haven't!
— frances, xoxo
