Dan and Phil's Daughter

Chapter Six

Loren's POV

I sit down on Morgan's bed, staring mindlessly at the wall. I snapped back to reality when Morgan called my name from downstairs.

"Yes?" I yell, waiting for a response. No answer. I groan at the fact I have to walk all the way downstairs.
"Did you call me, Morgan?" I ask when I run downstairs, I freeze when I see my dad's standing outside, they run and hug me, I don't hug them back. I feel like an awful daughter, my eyes start tearing up again.

"We were worried sick about you!" Dan exclaimed, as he and Phil hugged me tightly.
"Let's go home." Phil says as he grabs my hand, I don't reply, my face remains expressionless. All three of us got in a taxi and we arrived home, as soon as I got home, I ran to my room and slammed the door shut behind me.

I threw all of my belongings that I had carried along with me on the floor. I was frustrated.
I sprinted to the bathroom, I have found no sharp objects. My dad's must've hid them, I got even more tense. I searched my entire room for a sharp object, until I found a sharpener and screw-driver.

I have unscrewed the sharpener and grabbed the blade. I stared at it and was shocked at how sharp it was, I have never cut myself with a sharpener blade before. I got the blade and dragged it on my skin. I didn't flinch, I didn't wince, I remained expressionless again.

I dropped the blade as soon as I heard my door open.

Shit. It was Dan.

There was no point of hiding my scars with something. He's already in the room, there's possibly no way I can hide it on time.
"Hey Loren- wait, what are you doing?" He asked, I froze. Dan covered his face with his hands, knowing what I was doing. I felt guilty.

I let my dad down.

He kneeled down at my height and looked at me terrified. "Why are you doing this?" Was the only thing he said, before I was shaking, sweating, out of breath, paler than usual, and I felt sick.

Dan's eyes widened. "L-Loren? What's h-happening?" He stuttered, about to cry.
"Phil!" He yelled. I heard footsteps quickly coming to my room.
"Phil, what's happened to Loren?!" Dan shouts, Phil scans my face and his jaw drops. "She's having a panic attack! Dan, what did you do?!" Phil yells. At this point, they are just yelling each other before Phil had to carry me down the stairs and go to a doctor as soon as possible.

Why do I do this?
Why do I let others down?
Why am I like this?

We arrived at the doctors. I sat down on a chair, so did Dan and Phil. Everything was blurred out, I couldn't focus, my eyes are unfocused.

"Why did you self-harm, Loren?" The doctor asked, seriously. I just stared at him, and breathed heavily. I stood up and started scratching my arms, at where my cuts are.
"Don't do that, please." Phil said calmly as he stopped me. That's when I fell onto the ground, and every thing went black.

***

I woke up, finding myself at a hospital bed. I could see Dan crying on Phil's shoulder, on the chairs outside the room. The door was wide open, so I could see them, but they haven't noticed me awake.

"Ow," I huffed, my head hurt, a lot. Dan and Phil looked up at me, and ran over to me. "You're awake!" Dan sobbed as he came to hug me, Phil did the same. "Why wouldn't I be awake? Where am I? Why am I here?" I asked a bunch of questions. Phil stroked my hair, and Dan kissed my forehead.

"You're at the hospital. You have passed out at the doctor's, and you've been unconscious for five days. We've been so worried!" Phil explained, still stroking my hair.  "Why did I pass out?" I ask worriedly, Dan and Phil stayed silent for a moment.

"We actually don't know." Dan sighed.

Why do I do this?
Why do I let others down?
Why am I like this?