The Alphas Second Choice

Chapter Eight: His Feelings

Blake:

Christians wolf appears in front of me , his grey fur sparkles in the sunlight. His piercing blue/grey eyes stare at me 'why are you here?' I mind link him. Christian doesn't reply he just watches me 'you should be at the funeral' I mind link him again 'I needed to know you were okay.' His tone is strained , like he was expecting something to have happened 'I'm fine' Christians wolf growls at me , he's not happy me defining him 'With rogues in the area, I couldn't let something happen.' Christian walks closer to me , his wolf nuzzles my mine. My wolf purrs happily rubbing into him against my will 'Just leave me' I mind link.

Christian pulls back 'My wolf seeks comfort only you can give." My wolf grins from ear to ear 'okay.' My wolf speaks for me before I can speak. Christian bows his head slightly pushing me towards somewhere 'I wanna show you something' He walks towards a small clearing I didn't realize was there.

We walk side by side , our wolfs occasionally bumping into one other. My wolf is in seventh heaven, she never wants to leave. I wonder if Christians wolf is feeling the same way.
The walk is short to short for my liking, we end up in a cleared path. It's beautiful.

Lush green grass, sky high trees , sunflowers cover the ground. The delightful smell of the flowers through my nose , I've never seen this place before. 'How did you find this?' I wonder through mind link. Christians wolf purrs rubbing into mine 'my father used to bring me here.' I inhale deeply my heart is pounding.
Christian sits on the ground jerking his head for me sit with him, my wolf rushes over laying practically on top of him. 'It's so beautiful here.' I speak with awe in my tone , my wolf is beyond happy 'I'm glad you like it' Christian mind links me , I nuzzle his neck 'I'm happy.' I whisper through mind link.

Now being with Christian , I realize what all the fuse about mates are. It's like I've know him forever, my body aches for his touch or kiss. Either one would be fine. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him, I wonder if his lips are as soft as I think they are.
My wolf nuzzles Christian again 'Blake stop.' Christian pushes me away slightly , my wolf whimpers moving away 'I thought....' My voice trails off. Christian crooks his head to the side 'Thought what?' I cast my eyes down , I stand shaking off the grass from my coat. My wolf is hurt and wants to leave 'Thank you for this.' Christian stands as well bumping my side 'Your leaving?' I scoff 'Yes.' Christian growls bitterly 'why?' I remain quiet 'Because I told you to stop?' Christian scoffs shaking his wolf head 'Why can't you understand , I'm not going to mate with you.' My heart cracks again just as it was beginning to re-piece together.

I run off back towards where I left my clothes. I can't see him anymore.

Stupid stupid , innocent Blake. How could I have thought he would really want me after the love of his life just died!

I shift back and quickly try to find my clothes , I really don't Christian to find me naked. But of course I have the shittiest luck and he appears in front of me. He has shifted as well and is wearing a pair of basketball shorts , my eye travel of his bare chest. Hard and defined with a chiseled eight pack.
And here I am butt naked just standing there, I cover my breast as if he hasn't already seen them.

Christians eyes find the ground , he clears his throat "I was its making sure you found your way back." "I'm good." I scurry to find my clothes, they a underneath a pile of leaves.

I put my bra on and dress, Christian eyes slowly travel up "Blake I'm sorry I lead you on." I bite my lower lip.

"No I just ....it felt like everyone says it does." My voice cracks, I wipe my eyes to keep the tears away "What does?" Christian moves closer to me , his chest is almost to mine. "Being with you, I can't explain but it feels like my whole body is on fire when I'm with you." I can't contain these feelings anymore , I want him with everything I have.
Christian doesn't reply , and I'm guessing that means he doesn't feel the same way. Great now I look like a total psycho.

I sigh run my hand through my hair "I'm gonna go now that I have made my myself look as pathetic as possible." My wolf wants to have him hold her and wants to birth his pups. And I want that but how can I just think of want I want , Christian just lost Amelia.
I turn my back to him walking away, even though I want to stay and comfort him it's not my place. It won't ever be.

When I get back Lydia is freaking out, "Where have you been!" She follows me into my room "I went for a run." I whisper grabbing some sweats for my dresser "Oh , I thought the worse." My eyes find her hers in the reflection of the mirror "You always do." Lydia laughs but I can tell its out of sadness "Are you going to eat dinner?"
My stomach growls in agreement but me and my wolf don't want food. "No go without me." Lydia sighs "Please Blake." I shake my head "I'm going to shower." I step into my bathroom locking the door behind me.

I find myself sitting down underneath the shower head , letting the water hit me. My thoughts are all over the place. I can't focus. Maybe I need to just sleep peacefully , sleep hasn't come easy to me. Especially knowing my mate is a floor below me , my wolf howls all night for him.
Once the hot water runs out I drag myself out of the shower.

My bed feels colder than usual , like I wish I had someone to keep me warm. My stomach growls hungrily, but the thought of food makes me sick.
I lay and stare up at the ceiling watching my ceiling fan go around and around.

Lydia brings me a plate of spaghetti , then leaves. My mom comes to see how I am the leaves. I don't move from where I am. What's the point?

Midnight comes before I realize , the moon shines through my window giving my room a soft glow. In the glow I see a shadow figure standing in the bathroom doorway , my heart pounds and I reach for my lap. I flip the switch it's gone disappeared into thin air.
What the hell? It was right there! My wolf growls protectively , she saw it too.

I sleep with the light on that night , the shadow figure still in my mind.

A/N
Dun dun dun!