The Alphas Second Choice

Chapter Nine: My End

Blake:

The next few days go off without a hitch. Christian stays locked in his room not coming out for anything. I'm worried about him but I keep my distance , not wanting to seem like a clingy nobody.

Christians family stay, his mother helps with cooking and his sister Rebecca helps me with the laundry. Rebecca is really funny and sarcastic , she reminds me of my dad.

Me and Rebecca fold clothes at the kitchen table when she starts talking "Have you found your mate?" My hands freeze while I fold a pair of pants. "No." I shake my head quickly trying to change the subject , Rebecca raises an eyebrow "How old are you?" "Sixteen." My stomach turns , I really don't want to talk about mates.

Rebecca huffs "That's odd usually she-wolfs find their mates by sixteen." I swallow thickly focusing on folding. Rebecca watches me for a moment "Did you get rejected?" My wolf growls , no worse. I shake my head laughing uneasily "I haven't even found him yet." The words come out bitter like a snarl.
Rebecca purse her lips , she looks just like Christian "Oh sorry, I just thought....." She trails off , giving me a smile full of sympathy "No worries." I stand and take the pile of clothes with me.

I drop of the beta Sean's clothes off , I'm fixing to exit his room when he calls me. "Blake right?" I face him nodding slowly "Yes, dos you need anything?" Sean looks over me "I know who you are." I swallow thickly and I scoff "And who I am ?" Sean shrugs "Christians mate." My wolf scowls 'Finally someone noticed!' She exclaims to me. Sean sighs "How do you know?" I wonder crossing my arm over my chest "I heard you the day Amelia died when you were talking to Christian and he..." He stops "Hit me?" I spit , wiping the moisture from my eye. Don't cry Blake.

Sean nods looking at the ground "Christian hasn't been doing well." My stomach sinks , Sean continues "He hasn't eaten or been out of his room, I'm starting to think the worse." Sean looks back at me pleading "Do you think you can try to comfort him, I don't know just make him feel alive again." My first instinct is to say yes and run to Christian but my brain says screw him. Christian doesn't want me.

I shake my head "He won't let me even if I tried." Sean rubs a hand over his face "Please, just try." "And if it doesn't work?" "Then at least you tried." Sean grabs my hand , looking into my eyes "He's like a brother to me , I can't watch him kill himself." The words touch me and I nod just because I can see the pain in Sean's eyes. He really does care.
"Fine but I cant promise anything." Sean smirks "He'll warm up to you." I scoff removing my hand from Sean's "Doubt it, he made it very clear I'm nothing to him." My voice cracks at the end, my wolf whimpers sadly curling back into the ball she's been in for days.

I turn my back to him, I don't want him to see me weak. Sean is quiet , I wipe the unseen tears with my sleeve. "Christian can't deny you forever, his wolf won't let him. You were made for him and he was made for you. Your the only person who can serve his needs." Sean sounds like my teacher in school when she was giving the mate speech.
"Whatever, when do you want me to see him?" I face him once my tears are dry "Tonight." I nod "Okay." I close his bedroom door behind me.

After that I head back to my room, where my sister is waiting for my wearing her signature bitch look. "Have you seen my crop top with the lace?" She demands when I walk through the door , I shake my head already feeling my headache coming through. "No I haven't, can you leave me alone." She scoffs standing from her place on my head "God your so annoying, and ugly." She snarls bumping my shoulder roughly on her way out "I don't blame him for not wanting you. No man wants a girl with grandma tits and who is fat." She slams the door on the way out.

I scream into my pillow, the tears flowing down my cheeks like a waterfall. My breaths come out in pants like I've been running for miles. The ache in my chest intensifies a hundred percent. She's right thought , I'm ugly and fat. Christian doesn't want me to be embarrassed by me.
I should just end it.

Underneath my sink is a small container with razor blades, my hands find them quickly opening the container. The blade is small and thin and very sharp. My wolf protests 'No don't Blake , just stop!' She whines but I block her out. I'm tried of feeling like this, I want my old self back.
I roll up my sweater revealing my wrist. My heart pounds and I have to find the courage to run the blade across it.

I bite my lower lip as the blade digs into my skin, it leaves a burning throbbing sensation in its wake. A quiet sob escapes my mouth , as I do my another wrist. It's a painful process but after I feel alive , I'm feeling physical pain verse my bone aching, hard to breath emotional pain.
I start the shower , steadying myself a giant the wall. Since I'm a werewolf the process will take longer but it will work.

The water is hot as I curl underneath it , my body shakes with sobs.
The water turns a crimson clear from the blood, I watch as it swirls around before draining.
My eyes feel heavy and my breaking is slowing. Is this what it feels like to dies? Is this how my dad felt? My dad. I'll be able to see him and hear his stupid jokes again. I'll be at peace. I'm sorry Christian.

My eyes shut.

A/N:
Picture above is of Christians sister.