ballerina // jøshler

zéro ;

Tyler always wanted to be a ballerina.

He always wanted to wear his younger sister's tutus instead of wearing the typical basketball jersey.

His mother was overjoyed that her son was more feminine; it was almost like having another daughter. His father was constantly trying to get his son to change, but still wasn't as pissed as most would expect.

Until it got serious.

Until it wasn't "just a phase" anymore.

Until Tyler wouldn't stop wearing a tutu.

Until Tyler came out as gay.

Until Tyler left home the night of his 19th birthday for New York.

Until Tyler didn't come back from New York on the holidays like he promised his siblings he would.

He didn't want to leave New York. New York was his home now, and he didn't want to abandon the new feeling of happiness he felt every time he woke up just to please his family. Tyler hadn't felt like that since the final Christmas morning he deeply believed Santa was real.

The skinny boy sat on his bed, hands tangled in his hair as he heaved a sigh from his lungs. Tyler had applied to Marymount Manhattan College months before he left home. He had prayed his heart out that he'd get in, but mostly that the postal office transferred his mail to the his new address in the city. Tyler didn't know what he'd do if he had gotten accepted, but the mail went to his parent's house.

He wouldn't leave New York, not even for the letter of acceptance to his number one choice college.

From across the room, a familiar buzzing eased into the small space. Tyler raised from his bed and went over to grab his phone from the charger as it continued to ring.

"Hey, did you get the mail yet?" His roommate's soft, soothing voice emitted over the device.

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Because I already got it for you. It's on the kitchen stove." Jenna replied. Tyler could tell she was smiling on the other side of the line.

"Jenna wait-" but the signal was already dead.

The boy rubbed his eyes, nonchalantly as he wandered into the kitchen, trying to oppress his nerves as if someone were watching. Tyler went directly to the stove, not even grabbing something to ease his rumbling stomach. The pile of different sized, white envelopes were spilling all across the surface of the appliance. He quickly rummaged through them, barely paying attention to all the important ones (such as the water bill, electricity bill, and rent he and Jenna still had to pay), when he finally got to the large, rectangular envelope that smelled like hope and future and change.

Tyler couldn't help his mouth from dropping open and the tears stinging at his wide eyes.

It was here.

He dropped the rest of the mail that would eventually be dealt with later and focused solely on the one that had a sender's address of 221 E 71st St, New York, NY 10021. (when this is the real address but there's so many 21's????)

Tyler told himself not freak out; to just open the letter and not get his hopes up. But all those thoughts were tossed out of the 3 story high apartment building window as the impatient boy tore the paper jacket open and anxiously started to read the papers inside.

Dear Mr. Joseph,

We are very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Marymount Manhattan College.

The young man had burst into tears before even managing to read the word "inform". His entire body was shaking at the shock of the fantastic news that he'd been looking forward to his whole life.

Tyler thought about all the years he had been ridiculed by kids in his school because he liked to dance. He thought of all the hateful things relatives would say to his mother and father, and how no matter how much he begged, he would end up getting the same shitty presents like remote control trucks and M rated videos games for holidays and birthdays instead of the things he really wanted-ballet shoes and ballet classes.

Now, all his hard work and suffering was starting to pay off. Tyler had just gotten excepted to one of the most highly ranked art schools in the country.

He thanked his feet for keeping on, even when blisters and callouses blanketed over the flesh. He thanked his knees for never giving out, for holding him up whenever he was feeling low. He thanked his core for staying strong. He thanked his arms for not being stiff and fragile. He thanked his mind for getting out of the dark thoughts tucked deep into the corners of his skull, for if they hadn't, he wouldn't have gotten to live out this opportunity. 

Tyler thanked his whole being for staying the way it was, even when everyone else hated it.

"Thank you," he whispered, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"We did it."

a/n

IM HIGHKEY SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS??? I'VE HAD SO MANY JOSHLER IDEAS BUT I ENDED UP SCRATCHING THEM BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GOOD ENOUGH. LOL I HAVE LIKE 10 DRAFTS IN MY CREATE THING KMS !!

ANYWAY THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH