ballerina // jøshler

vingt-cinq

The whole car ride back was quiet. Josh tapped the steering wheel. He knew something was wrong with Tyler, but he didn't know what or how to bring it up. And Tyler was spacing out, his eyes fixated on something behind the other side of the glass. Every once in a while he found himself close to tears, and he'd blink as fast as he could to keep them from spilling out onto his cheeks. He'd catch a glimpse of himself and instantly regret the whole night. He even started to choke up when he realized he'd left that stupid textbook in the back of Melanie's car.

As soon as they got home, Tyler found himself crawling into bed. Still, the two hadn't spoken a word. Almost immediately, the brunette fell asleep. Josh settled into bed as well, and before he drifted off to sleep, he kissed Tyler's forehead lightly, then turned off the bedside lamp.

;

Early in the morning, Joshua had gotten out of bed. He tidied up the house, made a pot of coffee, and even left to get some pastries from one of Tyler's favorite cafes. He didn't know what was the matter with the brunette, but he hated seeing him upset.

When he got back to the apartment, Tyler was already dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and the shirt from the previous night. His fingers were tangled in his bedhead.

Josh held up the box of pastries. "I got you a little somethin' somethin'."

"I kissed a guy last night at the club I went to with a bunch of kids from class," there was a pause. Joshua placed the box down on the coffee table before joining Tyler's side on the couch. "And that kid, Ryan, I think he knows about this...us."

The brunette felt so dramatic and cliche, confessing his mistakes to his lover blatantly and rushed. But without it, he had no idea how he'd be able to lift the weight from off his chest and tell Joshua the truth.

"Ty, it's okay. I get it."

"What?"

"I mean, yeah we should probably figure out what that Ryan kid knows, but that other thing I get."

The brunette stuttered.

"This whole relationship is one big cluster-fuck. It's so confusing; are we exclusive, do we have boundaries like other couples would, ex cetra ex cetra."

"So what are you saying? That we can see other people? That we're not exclusive?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that because you were one, drinking and two, attracted to another guy - when you're surrounded by peers from class I wouldn't expect you to not go for it because then they'd start asking questions and it'd just get messier. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Okay."

Tyler didn't understand why his stomach was still twisted when Joshua had accepted his apology. It still bothered him that Josh hadn't gotten the least bit mad when he admitted his act of minor infidelity (but infidelity nonetheless).

He didn't eat, and when he got to school he felt exhausted. When no one was looking, Joshua placed his hand on the small of Tyler's back and gave him a small grin. For the rest of the day, all Tyler could feel was the burning sensation left by Joshua's hand on his back and the lips of another man.

And to see Josh act so calm, he couldn't wrap his mind around it. Surely Joshua hadn't cheated on him as well, right?

"Ty! Hey, you alright? Last night was a little crazy wasn't it?" It was Melaine. Her hair was curled and messy like she hadn't done much with it since the previous night.

"Yeah, crazy."

Mel's smile slowly slid from her features. She moved closer and whispered, "Listen, I gotta talk to you, okay?"

The brunette nodded. The girl grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to the corner of the lobby. She continued, "a little birdy told me that you're seeing someone that you shouldn't be seeing."

"What? When? Who?" his guard was up. Deny everything. Deny.

"You. Just now."

At first, Tyler stared at her, stunned. Then, he turned angry. "You tricked me." he looked like a child pouting, but he was still pissed.

"C'mon. Why didn't you tell me? That's the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah, well the school board might not think so. You gotta keep quiet about this."

"Ty, do you really think I'm gonna go blabbing off about you two?"

The brunette bit the inside of his lip. In all honesty, he wasn't sure of Melanie's motives. They had gotten close, but not close enough to where he could trust her with his deepest secrets.

"In any case, it's none of my business. If you really want me to act like you two aren't an item, then I will do so."

"Thanks."

"Of course."

That was their last conversation that day. Tyler knew that they could pretend all they wanted, but by the end of the day, two more people knew about the love that was supposed to be held close to his chest. He couldn't help thinking that he was starting to slowly lose control over everything, and he was right.

a/n

this one's a lil short, but thank u for sticking with this mush of a story :)

x- madison