ballerina // jøshler

vingt-deux ;

Tyler's phone had been ringing non-stop. He had ignored most of the calls since they were from his siblings, but some had been from Jenna; he was just too scared to answer. He didn't know why he was scared or why he decided to label his feelings as so.

Maybe, just maybe, Tyler was avoiding the controversial conversation that would come with talking to his best friend. He knew that he'd let it slip that Josh had gotten in trouble before with having a relationship with a student and that maybe she'd tell him that it wouldn't be the best of ideas to continue to date him. He was scared because he knew he'd listen.

"Ty, your phone's ringing," Josh pointed out as they sat in the living room. "I think it's Jenna." The twinkle ringtone that had been set for Jenna's contact was echoing through the empty halls of the house, progressively getting more irritating with each intrusive ring. The brunette sighed as he stood from the sofa and went to go answer it.

"Hey, Jen."

"You've been ignoring me."

Jenna was smart. Tyler didn't know why he thought she'd let the obvious situation slide; she wasn't like that. He rolled his shoulders before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I have been."

"Why?" her voice wasn't hostile, but it held a twinge of confusion mixed with disappointment and maybe even a bit of offensiveness. It was clear that the girl missed her friend very much, so why had he been blowing her off? Tyler didn't know if his reasoning would be valid enough.

"I'm just lost."

The silence on the other line indicated for the brunette to elaborate. Before doing so, the boy snuck over to the bathroom and closed to door behind him. With his back leaning against the door, he resumed the conversation.

"I can't tell if what I'm doing is the right thing to do."

"How do you mean?"

The brunette paused in thought, pondering the option of whether he should tell the truth of the matter. "Josh has already been caught in compromising positions with a student."

"What? When?" the blonde woman's voice jumped an octave higher. It always did whenever she got nervous or agitated (in this case it was the latter).

"I think two years ago? It's not recent if that's what you're thinking."

Jenna sighed heavily through the receiver. "I thought you were talking about yourself," she let out a relieved chuckle. "that would've been something, huh?"

The brunette laughed back, anxiety clawing at his throat. What if that was him? What if something happened where they got caught? What would happen? Would everyone know? Even if there weren't any consequences, rumors would spread, accusations would fly...

"But Tyler, you love the guy don't you?" Jenna's question interrupted his manic thoughts.

"Yeah." the answer seemed so basic and underwhelmed compared to how Tyler felt about the pink haired goof in question. That man was the one person who could make Tyler feel good about everything, even in negative situations. With Josh, the bad turned good, and the blue days became golden.

"So what's stopping you?"

"Jen I don't think you get it..."

"Of course I do, Tyler. Josh makes you feel like pure heaven, right? You love him and he loves you. It's not like you're underage or anything. Love is love dude. Your love just happens to be frowned upon."

"Or fetishized," the brunette bent his knees to keep them from locking into place. He looked in the mirror from across the bathroom and realized he had started to twirl his fingers in his hair, a nervous habit he never knew he had acquired.

"Nice one," the blonde woman commented as she laughed airily. "I think I'm gonna write a column about this."

"What? Jenna-"

"Relax, I'm not gonna mention names or anything, just the topic of teacher and student relations."

Tyler shifted his weight, breathing in an anxious yet quiet breath. He wasn't expecting Jenna to answer like that. He needed advice from a friend, not a journalistic analysis.

"Alright I gotta go." the brunette spoke up.

"Oh...okay well, call me later yeah?" she sounded hurt but quickly recovered.

"Y-yeah, sure." he hung up before any other empty promises could be made. This wasn't supposed to happen, and Tyler couldn't help but feel as if maybe he was making everything worse. With all the missed calls and overreacting and isolation from the outside world, maybe the relationship between him and the man sat in the living watching cooking shows was unnecessary and politically incorrect.

Then again, so what if their love wasn't acceptable in the eyes of everyone else? Tyler loved Josh, what other reasons was there to have? If Tyler didn't love Joshua he wouldn't have allowed himself to be dragged through the mud. Their relationship had started off rocky and sometimes the brunette would allow himself to forget all the arrant things Joshua had said directly to his face.

But the brunette had witnessed first hand the change within Joshua. He loved him. The feelings were mutual and wasn't that the very structure of a good relationship? The trust and respect seemed to effortlessly fall into place after their emotions identified themselves. So why did Tyler feel so conflicted?

He walked from the bathroom back into bedroom. The boy sprawled himself out on the linen sheets, relishing the scent of them. Tyler wished he could stop the world from spinning, even for just a moment and allow himself to truly enjoy lying on that bed and inhaling the smell of clean sheets and Josh's cologne. And somehow with everything going on, Tyler fell asleep, his body construed in a position so awkward and uncomfortable-looking, yet the sleep was peaceful and deep.

a/n

hola¡

this isn't like 3 billion words but it's kinda a lot !! don't worry i g o t t h i s

x- madison
ps i love u but u probably already knew that :)