ballerina // jøshler

dix-nuef ;

"Are you going to class today?"

It had been two days since the more or less altercation between Tyler and Josh, and things were still tense. Sure, they were communicating, but barely. Tyler had thought about deserting to the couch at night, but Josh was one step ahead and moved back upstairs to his own room.

"No." Tyler scratched the back of his neck, sinking deeper into the couch.

He didn't say a word, but the brunette could tell how Josh was feeling just by the way his eyes widened for just a quick second.

"Okay." and he was gone, the door shutting quietly behind him. Tyler exhaled a shaky breath. He hated verbal fights but silence was even worse. When he heard the sound of the motor start to fade, he slipped on his shoes and walked outside.

The sky was gray, but there was no sign of rain. The slight breeze caused the brunette to shiver. For the past few days, Tyler had made the journey to his apartment, where he would eat, sleep and maybe watch a movie or something of the sort to fill his time. Staying in Joshua's home felt so unwelcoming and foreign to him as if a ghost was telling his subconscious to leave and never come back.

Sleeping in his own apartment was strange, but the brunette could actually catch a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. At Josh's, Tyler would stay up all night, listening for sounds and any sign of movement from upstairs. He wanted to know what Josh was doing, and if he was thinking of him at all (and of course, he always was). The brunette always made sure to get back to the house minutes before Joshua got home, just to ensure the facade that he was just as stubborn as the other.

When Tyler finally made it to his front door, he heaved out a sigh and rested his head on the smooth wood. He entered, kicked off his shoes in one solid motion and collapsed on the couch. Immediately, the brunette clicked on the TV, trying to erase the white noise echoing in his ears.

This would have never happened if you would have just stopped and thought about the consequences, he thought to himself as he mindlessly flipped through commercials.

Tyler mentally cursed himself for being so naive and incompetent. Why would you do this? You're going to ruin everything you worked so hard to accomplish!

His head started to pound, and his feet fell asleep from the cold. There's nothing that you can do right, you realize that don't you? The one person who took you in and actually cared about you...you let them slip away from you.

The melancholy thoughts weren't harsh or filled with hate, they were compassionate and plain sad. Tyler felt his jaw tighten, threatening his own body. Crying was healthy - or so he was told - but the brunette hated it. It was always so ugly and loud; it made his chest hurt too much like he was drowning. He shut his eyes tight, fighting the tears gathering in his eyes.

Damnit Tyler. You have to be stronger than this. Pitiful was the word that he used to describe himself. Why would he expect everything to go okay for him? He never imagined being out of Ohio, and now here he was. But just because you made it out doesn't mean you can just relax. It's time to work. The easy part is over. And while it was supposed to be motivational, Tyler's heart was beating too fast. His head ached and his body was still. The only thing he did was sob uncontrollably, making his body shake slightly. Only this time no tears came out. His brain commanded him to sleep, as well as his whole being. He continued to shiver, but his eyelids began to droop and the sounds around him became blurred around the edges. Sleep engulfed him in the friendliest of ways.

;

Tyler woke up to a banging on his door. His body was curled tightly in the fetal position. The TV was still on and it was softly playing the six o'clock news.