He tried to talk himself off the metaphorical ledge (his brain being the cliff and his throat being the dark, scary abyss that plunged down deep). Tyler thought he could; how scary would it be to just dance, get some feedback and repeat for 45 minutes to an hour?
Turns out it was harder than he thought. He lost his balance, and fell right into his esophagus. The boy stood, shaking slightly as the brightly colored hair man with baggy shirts almost as baggy as the lines under his eyes pulled down the curtains for total privacy. Somehow Tyler would have felt better if they curtains were all the way up with the door wide open for the world to watch.
"You missed a lot."
Tyler just nodded. He knew that. But what was he supposed to do? Go into school, and humiliate himself by crying his eyes out and constant running to the bathroom to be alone? No thank you.
"I think today we're just gonna stretch and warm up for a bit and then we can...talk. About what's going on." the instructor added in quickly.
The boy nodded again. He hated this.
Awkwardly, the dancer sat on the floor and spread his legs. Joshua watched from behind via the mirror. The atmosphere couldn't have been more uncomfortable. Tyler's heart raced with each inhale and his ears stung with each exhale; he really, really didn't want to be there.
The flexible boy touched his nose to the floor and felt the sharp, intense stretch from deep in his inner thighs as it ran all the way down to his toes and up to the back of his neck.
He didn't know what Joshua was thinking when he sat down in front of him and decided to stretch along with him, but he must've been thinking something strange. The soles of Joshua's sneakers were almost touching Tyler's slippers, which made him even more uncomfortable (you can't get dirt on your ballet slippers...it ruins the floor). The older man basically plopped his arms down on his slightly bent knees. The brunette had to resist the urge to scoff and roll his eyes; he was embarrassed for the man he called his teacher, fore it seemed he knew nothing about his profession and source of income.
"Tyler..."
"You don't have to start every sentence by saying my name you know." the boy replied, harshly but softly at the same time. He kept his head down, tucked into his chest as he slightly let up from the activity.
"You could just get right to the point." Tyler suggested when he realized the hole he had dug for Josh was too steep for him to manage to climb out by himself. He reached over his head and bent to the right, his left arm in a perfect arch, his hand gliding across his legging clad legs.
Joshua gave up on competing with the flexible boy and sat with his knees pulled up to his chest.
"What's going on?"
The words alone meant so much to the boy, yet the sound of compassion hinting at the man's tone was enough to cause his breath to hitch and his heart to drop into his stomach. He had to swallow hard in order to not throw it up.
"I-it's nothing..." the sentence trailed off into the confined space between the pair. Tyler stole at glance at his teacher. Joshua was looking down at the floor, a look of contemplation displayed on his features. The look was familiar-Tyler had seen it on his own face when he had so much to say, but had no idea how to.
"My friend moved away. She helped me move away from my home in Ohio and she was the one that always kept me level headed, no matter what. It's been hard without her."
He wasn't giving in. Tyler had just let Joshua in on the basics - no details, no melt downs. He said enough for now, and if the boy felt as if he needed to say more, there were enough holes to fill.
"That sucks...but," Tyler knew what was coming, but walking away wouldn't benefit either of them. "why didn't you talk to someone? you're friends with that Melanie girl."
"Yeah well, some things I'd rather keep to myself. I only met her-what, a month ago? I don't think spilling my guts out to her would be the best bonding experience."
Joshua sighed, "Then why didn't you tell me?"
There was a pause, silence choking both of them.
"You could've told any of your teachers, and I'm sure they would've given you some time."
Tyler inhaled, gathering air to fill his lungs, holding it, and then smoothly letting the carbon dioxide out through his nostrils. He doubted any of his teachers care, but the boy didn't say anything in fear he could damage Joshua's feelings yet again.
The Man had made himself present, a vivid, black ghost interrupting the boy's foggy, gentle thoughts.
The more The Man laughed humiliatingly at Tyler's pain, the more he felt dead.
The intimating guffaws increased in volume, deafening the dancer, his only focus on that laugh. He was going insane, he was of it.
A strong hand was now on his shoulder, causing Tyler to blink back to the present. To calm his speeding heart, he took note of his surroundings.
The walls are made of red and brown brick.
One wall is occupied with floor-length mirrors only.
The floor is made out of bamboo, and is cool against my skin.
I am safe.
Joshua had pink hair.
It's fading.
His eyes are tired,
but beautiful and wise.
He had gauges, but they're not in his ears at the moment.
Joshua's nose was crooked, unlike his teeth. He's wearing a nose ring.
His face is-
"I want to make sure we have enough time for you to catch up." the instructor extended his hand towards the boy who was still seated on the ground. Tyler took hold, and for a slight moment, the duo held each other's gaze, absorbing the feeling of skin on skin contact. Both Tyler and Joshua had forgotten how much they enjoyed that warm, honey-dew feeling.
But it didn't last long. Tyler stood up, and the men withdrew their hands from one another's, and the rest of the lesson went alright (except it wasn't because Tyler still felt dead and Joshua knew that he did, but also knew he couldn't do anything to fix it).
"The hour is up." Joshua said plainly. He was emotionally drained from just being in the presence of the depressed boy.
Tyler felt as if his lips were sewn tightly, so he just nodded. He started to pack up his things before his teacher spoke again.
"If you need anything." his voice sounded determined as he handed his student a sticky note with a scribbled address on it. It was surprisingly close to where Tyler lived.
Wanting to show his gratitude, he smiled quickly before heading toward the door. The sky outside was slowly turning a light grey. The wind was strong against the boy's small frame as he raced toward the bus stop. The thick clouds meant one thing in the north-east;
Snow.
a/n
hopefully i didn't say it was summer in this fic because i REALLY want it to be winter
i also don't want school tomorrow bc there's a chance if snow like let me l i v e
anyway i promised notakitchensinktome that i woukd update tonight so this chapter is dedicated to her hey girly
also im trying to work out a playlist but its not going well so hm funny how that works
blah blah blah i hope u guys have a good whatever and i hope that ur nights are pleasant and filled with sweet dreams and that u wake ul feeling happy and it lasts for a while
thank u for reading this bullshit, really.
YOU ARE READING
ballerina // jøshler
Fanfiction"Plié, goddamnit, plié!" where tyler is a freshman ballerina in a prestigious arts school and josh is a mean teacher with a soft spot for the fragile boy.
