Can't Move On [Larry]

Chapter 6.5

Happy Thanksgiving! I know this is (or, was) on hiatus but I'm determined to finish this story. It may take me a while, yes, but I will finish it.

-

"Louis?" Zayn pressed a kiss to Louis' cheek. Louis opened his eyes, squinting against the light. He let his eyes adjust for a few moments before he tried to move or signal that he was awake.

"What?" Louis grumbled out, sitting up slightly. He propped himself up on his elbows, glancing at Zayn, who was already looking at him.

"We've got a meeting with management today." Zayn said. Just like Harry had said. "They called earlier, are you okay to go?"

"Do I have a choice?" Louis muttered. It was never a choice with management- they got what they wanted and their stupid choices were final.

"I guess not." Zayn said, making a face that said he wished Louis did have a  choice. They were all thankful for their management, obviously, but they were really sick of their unnecessary meetings and stupid decisions- like leaking how Harry died and making them do an interview about it.

"Yeah." Louis mumbled. He slipped out of bed and rubbed his eyes, stretching slightly. "I'm gonna go take a shower. How long have i got?"

Zayn tried to glance at his watch only to realize he hadn't put it on yet, so he looked at the clock on their nightstand. "Ten minutes."

"Okay." Louis went out into the hall and stopped short. Harry said there would be a nail on the ground. He looked down.

"Oh my god." Louis whispered. He crouched down and picked up the tiny nail and just held it for a few minutes, staring at it.

A few seconds later, Niall walked out of his room, stepping right where the nail had been. Louis wanted to scream, this was so creepy. If Harry was just his imagination, how could he have possibly known there would be a nail on the ground, and that Niall would have stepped on it?

"Morning Louis." Niall said, patting Louis' shoulder. He walked away before Louis could say anything else, disappearing into Liam's room.

Louis decided standing here wasn't going to do him any good when he only had ten (probably seven, now) minutes to take a shower. He kept the nail in his hand and grabbed a towel from the hallway closet, walking back into his room and into his and Zayn's shared bathroom. He threw the nail away and tried to forget about it, telling himself over and over that that was just a coincidence.

-

The meeting with management was Hell, just like the movie a few nights ago, but at least then all Hell was inside his head. This time, Hell was in that room.

Management wanted them to do another interview about Harry. They just didn't seem to understand that it was nearly physically impossible for them to talk about Harry. Louis cried almost every time his name came up. Niall would cry sometimes, too, and Liam and Zayn tried to hold back their sadness, ending up in them not breathing for long periods of time to avoid bursting.

"We're not talking about it!" Zayn had shouted, standing up and taking Louis' hand. A few of the people on their management team had tried shouting at them to sit back down, but then Liam and Niall were following, and they all just walked out. After so much screaming and fighting and ever a bit of crying (yes, Louis had cried- the shock of Harry dying washing over him again), Louis had a major headache.

"I'm so sorry, babe." Zayn said, turning to Louis once they were outside. He wrapped his arms around Louis and just held him for a while. Louis let a few more tears slip, but he refused to cry anymore. He was done crying (for now, at least).

"It's not your fault." Louis said eventually, burying his face in Zayn's neck. He sniffled, then he sighed. He felt so relaxed with Zayn- all the time, no matter what. Zayn was just so comfortable and comforting and chill. Louis was grateful for him- grateful that he had Zayn to keep his head out of the clouds. Zayn was his anchor, his ropes- holding him down and keeping him together.

"I love you." Louis said, holding Zayn tighter as he let more tears fall out of his eyes. These were grateful tears, lucky tears- tears that thought what the fuck would I do without you? "I love you so much Zayn, oh my god."

"I love you too, Lou." Zayn said. He ran his hands up and down Louis' back, trying his best to calm Louis down with just gentle touches and soft words. "I love you so much, too."

Liam and Niall were just awkwardly standing around, not wanting to get in the car quite yet, and not wanting to interrupt Zayn and Louis' moment. These moments were rare, with Louis always having Harry on his mind, he didn't have enough space left to realize just how much he appreciated Zayn's existence and love.

Eventually, they broke apart and the four of them went home. Zayn held Louis' hand and kept the other on the wheel. Louis looked out his car window and wiped away the tears that refused to stop falling down his cheeks, even though he tried his hardest to hold them back.

When they got home, it was noon. Zayn made lunch- sandwiches and chips, and the boys sat around silently. They turned on the television to a news channel, and Zayn changed it quickly, knowing that if a story about Harry came up, it would be a mess.

"You look tired, Lou." Zayn said, concerned. He wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulders. "Do you want to go take a nap?"

Louis thought about the last time he tried to sleep after one dream with Harry- how he was stuck in a black nothing all alone, how that was a nightmare, not Harry.

"No." Louis said, glancing at Zayn. He saw the intense worry on Zayn's face. "I've just got a headache. I'm okay."

"Okay." Zayn said quietly, but he sounded unsure, like he didn't believe Louis. Louis didn't believe himself, either, because he was not okay. Not at all.

"Are you okay, Zayn?" Louis asked, realizing, suddenly, that he never, ever asked Zayn if he was okay. Zayn was the tough one- not only Louis' anchor, but everyone else's. He just anchored Louis the most, because Louis needed it most.

"To be honest?" Zayn asked. "No. I'm  not okay, but who is, you know?"

Louis didn't say anything. He leaned his head on Zayn's shoulder and told him he loved him once again. Zayn told Louis he loved him, too, but he sounded sad when he said it. Louis didn't ask why.

-

Zayn and Louis were completely silent as they settled in for bed that night. Louis gave Zayn his usual kiss, but Zayn kissed Louis a little harder than normal. It didn't matter- Louis didn't mind. Louis liked rough kisses when he was sad.

"I love you." Zayn whispered. He pulled Louis into his chest, which was a bit odd, because Louis usually pushed himself into Zayn's chest. "Love you so, so much."

Louis smiled slightly. "I love you, too. Love you so, so much too."