Can't Move On [Larry]

Chapter 9.5

"Louis," Zayn said mid-afternoon. His voice was serious and sad and for a moment, Louis thought someone else had died.

"Louis," Zayn said one fateful Tuesday morning. It was the day after Louis and Harry had fought. Louis had fallen asleep drunk that night, so he hadn't realized Harry hadn't come home.

"What?" Louis grumbled, hardly even opening his eyes. He did for a moment, just to see who it was interrupting his sleep, then he closed them again. He didn't want to face anyone, even if they weren't Harry.

"It's about Harry." Zayn said. His voice was serious and sad, and Louis opened his eyes to look up at Zayn. Was Harry hurt? Had he left the band? Louis would be disappointed in Harry if that was the case. But would Harry really leave the band because he and Louis had fought?

"What?" Louis grumbled again. He was a little more awake, thinking that it was possible that Harry had gotten hurt. He was driving, had he been in an accident?

"Harry was in an accident." Zayn said. Louis' heart picked up speed and his thoughts shattered in his mind. Of course. Harry was hurt.

"H-how is he?" Louis asked, not knowing what else to say. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, glancing at Zayn. He had hope in his heart, beating too quick. He had a lot of hope that Harry was okay and was going to be okay.

"Louis . . . Harry's gone."

Louis didn't need to ask any more questions after that. He knew what Zayn had meant. Harry was gone, Harry was dead, Harry wasn't coming back home.

"Louis?" Zayn waved his hand in front of Louis' face. Louis snapped out of his daydream, giving himself a thought: Harry's coming back, he's going to be alive.

"What? Sorry, I-" Louis stopped. He didn't want to tell Zayn he was thinking about the time Zayn told him Harry was dead. "What?"

"Management wants us to start touring again." Zayn said. He bit down on his bottom lip and looked away for a moment, then back at Louis. "They want us to start next month on- on the first."

Next month was February. Harry's birthday. But that was fine, because Harry would be back by then. So Louis nodded. "Okay."

"O-okay?" Zayn stuttered, seeming shocked. Louis understood why. He was sure Zayn had been expecting him to be angered beyond belief, because how dare management want them to start touring again on Harry's birthday? But Louis just nodded again, "Okay."

"Okay." Zayn said, giving Louis a nod, too. The two of them sat in silence for a little while, then Zayn leaned in and pressed a kiss to Louis' lips. Louis placed his hand on the back of Zayn's neck, pulling him in close- too close. This was one of the last times he would be able to kiss Zayn. After tonight, Harry would be a ghost, and then he would be human again. This was the last month that Louis could call Zayn his, and that made him a little sad.

"Fuck," Louis whispered. He hadn't even meant to, but this was the last month he had with Zayn. He should feel happy, because he was getting Harry back and Harry was all he needed. But for the past few months, Zayn has been nothing but loving and lovely and Louis knew he could miss Zayn.

"What's wrong?" Zayn asked, pulling back and opening his eyes, tilting his head. He looked worried, and when he reached to to take Louis' hand, Louis knew he was worried.

"Nothing." Louis said. He kissed Zayn again. "I just love you. I-I love you a lot- I'll love you forever. You know that, right? I'll never stop loving you."

"Louis, are you sure you're okay?" Zayn asked, feeling a bit odd that Louis was acting this way. "You're- you're acting a bit odd."

"I just love you." Louis whispered. Tears sprung to his eyes and he tried to force them back, but to no avail. They ran straight down his cheeks and dripped onto Louis and Zayn's intertwined fingers. "I love you a lot."

"I love you, too, Louis." Zayn said. He pulled Louis close, wrapping him in a tight hug with one arm. He didn't let go of Louis' hand. "Don't cry. Don't cry. I'll love you forever, too."

Zayn's last words only made Louis cry that much harder, because he felt so guilty. He would just leave Zayn for Harry, and while he was more than happy to do that for Harry, he didn't want to do that to Zayn.

"Don't cry." Zayn said again. He left a kiss on top of Louis' head while Louis continued to cry, eventually crying himself into an anything-but-peaceful sleep.