Can't Move On [Larry]

Chapter 8.5

Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Louise was doing his hair. He could feel her fingers running through it, spiking it up and making it look nice. He could feel her rubbing something over his eyes, but he couldn't imagine what it was. She never put make-up on them. Never. Maybe some special "lotion" here and their to smooth out and clear up their skin, but she never put make-up on them.

"You ready?" Louise asked quietly. Louis opened his eyes. Louise had a towel in her hands, rubbing them clean of whatever she'd just put on Louis' face. Louis looked at himself. He didn't look any different, maybe a little more awake-looking, but other than that, he looked the same as he did about ten minutes ago- just with neater hair.

"No." Louis said. He stood up and stretched, smoothing out his clothes. He looked back at Louise, who was pouting at him. He pulled her into a hug. "But I'll be okay. I'll be ... strong."

Louis thought back to what Harry had said last night. Even if Louis was going to cry, he would be strong. Louis smiled, thinking of the way Harry kissed him and told him not to swear and ended up swearing himself. His heart fluttered, and he pulled away from Louise, a half-smile still on his face. Louise seemed to notice, because she smiled, too.

"Go be strong, then." Louise said, giving Louis' shoulder and encouraging little nudge. The two of them chuckled together for a moment, then they separated- Louise went back to put all of her supplies away, and Louis went to find the other three boys.

"Hey- you look happy." Zayn said. Louis realized he was still wearing his little half-smile. He didn't try to take it away, he just smiled wider and leaned in to kiss Zayn, saying, "I am pretty happy." before their lips touched.

"Good." Zayn said after a moment, when they broke away. He gave Louis a smile, seeing the look in his eyes was happy, too. His heart skipped, because he realized he hadn't seen Louis genuinely happy in a while, not since last week, anyways. Since then, Louis' been singing in the shower and cuddling Zayn after long days of boredom and television shows.

"Ready?" Zayn asked, taking Louis' hand for just a moment as everyone got set up for the interview. Zayn, personally, was still quite angry that management had ordered them to do this interview in the first place. But Louis was happy, and he was okay, and he wanted to do this, and that was everything Zayn needed.

"I am." Louis said, squeezing Zayn's fingers. He thought about Harry, if Harry was watching. Would Harry get angry that Louis was with Zayn? Would Harry get angry that Louis found comfort and love for Zayn when he wasn't there? Louis gulped. Would Harry hate him?

"You sure?" Zayn say the suddenly troubled look on Harry's face. Louis snapped out of it and looked over at Zayn. He gave a quick nod. Zayn didn't look completely convinced, but if he was worried he didn't say anything about it.

"Let's go, babe." Zayn said as a few people beside them, people on their management team, began to count down the seconds. 10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1! "It's time to go."

---

The questions were dumb. How did Harry die? How are you guys handling it? Is One Direction still together, or are you giving up? How do you feel about this, Louis? Was Harry dating anybody before he died? Have you been in touch with Harry's family? How are you guys all feeling?

Louis didn't cry. He fought through all the questions and answered at least a part of every single one.

"Harry was in a car accident," Louis' throat caught, but he didn't cry. He cleared his throat like it was rough and went on with it, letting the boys have their own word in the answer. He was relieved when they didn't say "Harry died," because he'd avoided that. Harry didn't die.

"We're handling it pretty well, I would say." Louis answered this one on his own, professional. "We do shed a tear now and then, I can't imagine who wouldn't. But other than that, we're- I don't know, we're pretty okay. We miss him to death, we love him to death, but we know he's in a good place."

Zayn squeezed his hand after that question, as their hands were between their thighs and out of sight. Zayn was proud of Louis for that answer, and Louis gave Zayn a little smile, one the cameras didn't quite catch.

"One Direction is still together." Louis didn't quite answer this one on his own- Liam finished it up for him, saying, "We may still record music, but it will take us a while to get back into the swing of things. We're not replacing Harry."

"I don't know how I feel to be honest." Louis said. He was supposed to answer this on his own, because it was a question for him, but Zayn stepped in an answered the rest, "He's been extremely strong. He's cried, yes, but like he said before, we all have. But he's been very strong."

It was Louis' turn to squeeze Zayn's hand, maybe as a thank you, maybe as a shut up and let me answer my own question. He wasn't sure which.

"He was dating someone before he died." Niall said, glancing over at Louis. Louis put on a brave face and looked straight at the interviewers. "He was dating me."

"I've talked to Anne over the phone many times. We flew her and Gemma out here just so all of us could be around each other and talk about our memories with him and cry together, honestly." Louis said. Niall took over, "It was lovely seeing them, and they told us to be strong, just as we told them. I hope they're all right, we haven't actually heard from them recently. We may give them a call later."

"We're all feeling okay." Zayn said, glancing at Louis. "We've been happy recently. We all still miss Harry, but it's really nice to feel happy again and see each other happy." Louis added, "It is." but that's all he said.

They went home after that. Niall called Anne, and Liam told him to put it on speaker. He looked at Louis and Zayn and asked them if they wanted to talk to her, too, but they declined, saying they just needed some time alone together. So Liam took Niall up to his room and they talked to Anne together.

"You did really great." Zayn said. He almost kissed Louis, but it didn't seem right to kiss him right then. So he took his hand instead. "You were really strong."

"You were, too." Louis said. He plopped down on the couch and sighed, leaning his head against Zayn's shoulder. "Thank you, by the way. For saying I was strong. In the interview, too."

"It's true. You are strong." Zayn said. He kissed Louis' temple gently, running his thumb over Louis' knuckles. "I'm really proud of you, Louis. You're doing so well."

"I am well." Louis smiled, sitting up and looking at Zayn with a smile on his face. "I'm very well, actually. I love you."

Louis leaned in and pressed a kiss to Zayn's lips. He put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer. He needed to be close to someone, and if it wasn't Harry, it had to be Zayn.

"I love you, too." Zayn said. He wrapped his arms around Louis and hugged him tight. He felt tears stinging the back of his eyes, but he didn't let that bother him. If he cried, so be it. "I love you, too."