Lies, Love, Lust.

Part Two

The bus is so loud, so many different things happening on it. People look so happy, I wonder what that feels like? To be happy. I guess I have experienced it before, happiness. I just don't remember.

It was such a long, long time ago. 4 years? Maybe 6? Time moves so fast, yet so slowly.

Sometimes I think I can still hear the sound of my bones breaking as he continues to beat me over, over, over... Never stopping, not til I'm dead. Am I dead? It sure feels like it sometimes. I just want to sleep, but no matter how much sleep I get nothing can cure this tiredness I feel. Hollow, yes, that's what I am. A shell of what I use to be. I want to go back to how it was, before I met him.

The devil himself.

My devil.

No matter how many times he ripped me to shreds, I stayed. I loved it? No, I couldn't live without it. The beatings became routine, I love routine.

It still hurts. I feel like none of me is fixed yet. Will I ever be fixed?

Will my feelings, my emotions, my life ever be fucking normal again?

No.

Not after all that he did to me. Not after all that I did to him.

I'm broken, and nothing can fix what's broken. Not fully.

I'll always be a shell.

Hollow, shallow, nothing.

Nothing. 

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Fucking T R I G G E R E D.

Hope you guys liked it? This one is a little bit longer, 259 words.

I have been going through a lot lately, so I'm sorry if my story isn't what you'd thought it would be. I'm just making it up as I go.

I recently had to get rid of my doggo. Angel. She truly was an Angel though.

I honestly haven't been getting enough sleep, I just can't stop crying out for her to come back to me. She was my baby you know? I imagine this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like someone is repeatedly stabbing from the inside out, is how mothers feel after losing child. But I can only guess. I loved that pup with all my heart and soul, and I can't believe I had to give her to someone else. I know they'll take care of her and I check up on her daily via text. But it's just not enough. It will never be enough now that she's gone. I just wish I had more time with her, ya know?

The family I gave her to recently had a dog, much like Angel who died of cancer. So it makes me feel a lot better knowing that by giving them Angel, I was helping them through a loss of one of their family members. One of their friends. But it still hurts, and it always will.

They say I can visit her though... But my car won't make it out far into the country that often.

So it'll have to be rare trips.

I plan on visiting her for her birthday.. Maybe Christmas? I don't know.

I just miss her..

Question: Ever lose a pet?

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