Thoughts

Dear Father

Dear father,
Why must you act the way you do
Returning home not able to remove your shoe
Leaning on walls so you don't fall down
Playing with your kids just not noticing the frown
Yelling at your wife for something perfectly obscure
Yelling at your children even more
Scaring your young son
While the other child keeps him strong
Drinking 100s of cans
But denying the alcoholism because it's only cans
It isn't a shot of gin to get you out of bed
It's drinking and hurting your family, who need their heads read
Why is it at fourteen years old
I'm more mature than your childish soul?
Why do I have to listen to all the insults
With no apologies at a later date
Because you simply don't remember
What the bloody hell you said?
Why do you get excused for the stupid shit you do?
I can't even look at alcohol without thinking of you
There may not be any visible scars because of you
But it doesn't mean the mental ones aren't true
And it's all because of the alcoholic man
Who is biologically my father
Even though I really don't feel as though you act like a proper father would
Because you never act proud of me
When I show my awards
You bond with your son
But you never did with me
Do you have any idea of how much it hurts?
My brother painting you in a golden light you really don't deserve
But maybe it's true
You could well be a good person
A good father too
But because you choose beer over your family
I guess I'll never know the truth