The journey of Hartbig

The fight

It was almost 4 nights a weak now where Hannahs girlfriend "crashed at the office".
Hannah had never felt so fucked up over a girl and she could feel herself going crazy.
She was now staying up every night until she came home, which would mean she would be incredibly sleep deprived.

Hannah eventually ran out of excuses to tell her boss and essentially got fired.

----

Hannah, only having Ten hours of sleep in the space of three days was not in the best of minds. On Sunday morning when her girlfriend came home from "crashing on the couch" the night before. Her girlfriend didn't even get through the door before Hannah took a deep breath and jumped down her throat.

"Are you fucking kidding me with this?"

"Good morning to you to"

"Don't joke around with me, where the fuck were you? It's 6am!"

"Hannah, I told you, I crashed on the couch. I've got a huge cas-" Hannah could hear the concern in her girlfriends voice.

"Oh please, save yourself. Working on a huge case?" Hannah couldn't help but laugh. She was hurting so much, her life was crumbling around her and such petty lies were just so absurd.

They argued back and forth for almost 10 hours, ending with both of them sitting at the opposite sides of couch in silence, with the occasional blubber of breath.

----

After 3 hours, her girlfriend broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, Han"

Hannah, still crying, was looking down at the floor and took a deep breath to get out the three words she has needed to know for almost 6 months. Hannahs voice broke when finally she replied with;

"Who is she?"

"What?"

Hannah didn't appreciate her acting dumb but scrunched down her anger so it didn't course another blow up. She simply closed her eyes, took a deep breath and repeated herself with the same crack but a little bit more anger in her voice.

"Who....is....she?"

There was a long pause before her girlfriend confessed.

"Sharon"

Hannah doubled over and let out the weight she's been carrying for months with a scream.

She looked at her girlfriend.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Yeah sure, anything"

"When...." Hannah took a deep breath and felt her stomach turn. She felt like she was going to be sick but with a whisper and pain behind her voice she continued. "When did you stop loving me?"

"What? No! Hannah, I could never stop loving you"

With that comment every bit of sadness turned straight to anger. She jump of her couch and walked to the kitchen to get a beer.

"Never stop loving me! What kind of bullshit is that? If you love me you wouldn't cheat, would you"

"I know"

"You know? You know?"

"Babe, calm down"

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

Hannah knew the answer to all her questions but she has never felt so angry, so betrayed.

Her girlfriend walked closer to Hannah, trying to calm her down.
She grabbed Hannahs arm but she pulled away so quickly the beer feel out her hand. Trying to be pissed off, she crushed down the smile of how that just happened.

Her girlfriend would not give up, she pleaded for Hannahs forgiveness but Hannah was gaining more pride every time she told her she loved her.

-----

Still in the kitchen, they eventually stopped arguing and got down to a conversation.

There was a moment of silence and the silence is what made Hannah the most vulnerable. Leaning against the counter top, Hannah was crying and playing with her hands. The room then filled with whispers.

"Han?"

"Yeah?" Hannah looked up to find her girlfriend far to close.

"I really do love you"

"I know, I love you to but-"

Her girlfriend cut her off with a kiss that Hannah really needed but at the same time, didn't want to happen. Being lost in the kiss for longer than expected, Hannah snapped back to reality.

"NO! What you doing?" Hannah pushed the taller girl away with all the strength she would manage.

"I thought-"

"You thought what? That if you kissed me I would forgive you? It would make all the pain you put me through disappear?"

"Well...no. But-"

"You need to leave, I love you but you love her more. Don't you?"

Hannah shocked herself with how fast and agressive that question came out but she needed the answer.

There was long pause and Hannah was getting frustrated with the guilt on her girlfriends face. Out of no where she snapped;

"DON'T YOU"

Her girlfriend had a scared look on her face and jumped. It didn't go unnoticed and Hannah felt bad she scared her.

"Yes"

"Leave"

Hannah got another beer out the fridge and walked to her room.

"Hannah"

"Leave and send someone to pick your stuff up tomorrow"