The journey of Hartbig

Depression and acceptance

After breaking up with what she thought was the love of her life, Hannah was in an agonizing depression.

She drank away her sorrows and drowned her emtions into the most god awful poetry known to man, but this was how she was coping. She lost all care for everything and everyone, she no longer went for her morning walks, she no longer got drunk over Skype with a group of her friends and acted so stupid to make them laugh. Instead, she got drunk in her dark room in silence. Not knowing anything better to do.

After weeks of binge drinking, eating next to nothing, not leaving the house to go anywhere other than the shop to get more booze, Hannah has shut everyone out of her life, including family.

She woke up one morning with the most spiltting headache that made her head feel like it was going to roll off her shoulders. She groaned in pain as she reached over to her bed side table to pick up the bottling of wisky that she, seconds later, found out it was empty. Hannah shook the bottle to get that last drop and threw it at her bedroom wall. Holding her head and screeching in pain, she got up to get some pain killers. The room was spinning so out of control, before Hannah knew it, she had collapsed onto the floor.

Waking up a while later, Hannah felt more ashamed and embarrassed that she has now realised what she has become.

"What am I doing? I need to stop. There is nothing I can do to change what she did. Get your life together, Hannah"

Although she was still feeling like she had lost everything, Hannah was bored, bored with not being okay, she wanted to get her shit together.

It's officially been 4 months since Hannahs break up. After going through her dark times, Hannah was still not satisfied with how she is living her life.

She no longer felt like she belonged in her home town, in her mutual friend group she shared with her now ex. For the first time in her life, Hannah felt lost and alone.

She stopped drinking, starting going for her walks again, applied for jobs that she hated but it was a step to getting her life back.

"What is missing?"

Hannah looked around her empty house and realised she didn't feel the love she felt for this house anymore. It wasn't a home to her. She planned to raise a family in it and it seems heartless with 1 person living in a 3 bedroom house.

"There's nothing here for me anymore, I can't move on when I'm stuck in a places where I no loner fit"

"I have to move"

----

Within a week Hannah found a one bedroom flat in New York. It's somewhat cheap, and it's a nice area to keep your head down and sort your life out.

"I honestly don't care, I'll live anywhere in NY if it means I don't live here"

Hannah packed her bags the second she put the money through and sold her house. She was going to start fresh, on her own.

----

Its been 3 weeks since Hannah moved to New York, it's a Friday night and she's dressed up in a fancy suit from coming back from a job interview. It was similar to what she doing back home, but she's sure she fucked it up..