The journey of Hartbig

Not again

It's been two months since that dinner and Grace still hasn't broken things of with Scott. It's really getting to Hannah so she brought it up.

"Hey, Grace?"

"Yeah?"

Grace was instantly worried. The nerves in Hannahs voice gave it away that this is a conversation neither of them wants to have. But it's eating Hannah up inside.

"Have you spoken to Scott yet?"

"Err...no. Not yet"

"Okay. Well. Have you got plans to?"

"Jesus, Hannah, I said it'll take some time"

"I know but it's been two months since you said you would"

"I know and I'm sorry. I just.."

"Haven't found the right time" Don't give me that. It's the old thing in the book"

"Don't be like this"

"like what? I'm sorry, Grace but this is killing me. I'm serious, it's me or him. You can't have both"

"I know. I know. I'm sorry"

Grace lunged into Hannah for a well needed hug. "It's you. It'll always be you"

"Grace, I lov...."

"Don't say it"

"What?"

"Don't say it. You say them words then everything gets screwed up. I know how you feel and I hope you know how I feel. But don't say the words"

"Okay. We'll have code words"

"Code words?" Grace giggles "You're such a dork"

"Okay"

"No, that's not the code words. You're such a dork"

"You're such a dork, too"

Hannah smiled and Grace just gave up, returning the cheeky grin.

"I've got to go"

"Where?.......Fuck sake. Scotts"

"Stay with me. I'll tell him tonight"

"Really?" Hannahs face lit up, her eyes got wide and her smile was so big it hurt.

"Really. I'll be back around 11" Grace kissed Hannah and ran out the door.

----

It's now midnight and Grace still is not home. Hannah starts to worry she's been hurt so she phones Mamrie to see when she last spoke to her.

"Hey, Mames. When was the last time you spoke to Grace?"

"About 3 hours ago. Why?"

"She was meant to be back an hour ago but I can't get ahold of her and I'm worried she's been hurt"

"Where did she go?"

"Scotts" Hannah sighed, forcing to say that name without hate.

"Scotts?"

"It's complicated"

"Yeah. Sounds it. Do you want me to go and see if she's still at Scotts"

The thought of what Grace was doing with Scott made Hannah feel sick.

"No. I'll go"

"Well I'm coming with you then, for back up"

"Okay, I'll be at yours in 15"

"Alright. Bye"

"Bye"

----

25 minutes later Hannah and Mamrie were standing outside Scotts door.

"You wonna go in?"

"Should we knock?"

"Han, I'm pretty sure they won't be able to the door"

Hannah gave Mamrie a disproving look.

"Sorry. That was insensitive" Mamrie bit her lip, stopping herself from smiling.

Hannah opened the door and walked in, followed by Mamrie. They walk up the stairs and Hannah feels like she's going to pass out. She walked through the door to find,

"Frank? The bartender? What the fuck?"

"Hannah, what the fuck?"

"Oh my god"

Hannah turned to Mamrie who was cracking up in the hallway.

"Scott, I'm so sorry." Hannah couldn't catch her breath. "Have you.  Have you seen Grace?"

"No, she broke up with me two weeks ago. Why the fuck are you still here?"

"I'm sorry. Have a....have a good night"

Hannah and Mamrie where hysterical whilst walking out of the house and back to the car. Then the laughter stopped.

"Fuck"

"Hannah, who is Grace with?"

"I have no clue" Hannah was starring out of the car window. To paralysed to drive.

"Get out. I'll drive"

Hannah just done what she was told. There was nothing going on in her head right now. It was blank. No images, no words. She was completely stunned.

----

They got back to Hannahs and Mamrie poured the drinks whilst Hannah dropped herself onto the couch.

"How is this happening again? Why is this happening, again?! This is not fair. I can't be away from her? I can't believe I was ever alive before her. Everytime I look into her big, beautiful eyes, it's like I'm seeing them for the first time. Everytime she enters a room or I look at her, it's like I've turned around to see a girl I've never seen before. Everytime we kiss, it's like the first time all over again. I absolutely hate this feeling. I'm constantly weak around her, constantly anxious that i'm going to fuck it up. And I guess I have. And it hasnt even been 3 month. I love her so much but so much of me cannot trust. Does she love me or is she playing me? Am I her mid life crisis? Has she met someone else? Has she cheated? Is she going to cheat? All these questions, Mames. That I just can't get out of my head. But now I know, I guess."

"No you don't"  Mamrie responded, handing Hannah her drink.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't know for sure she is with someone else. Scott just said they broke up, he didn't say she was with anybody"

"Then why would she lie about not breaking up with Scott? Why would she say she's going Scotts when she's not?"

"I don't know.  But we'll ask her"