Then Came Blue_ girlxgirl.

Chapter 11

"Blue!?"
My voiced is laced with every emotion, shock, panick, confusion, worry and there's a little bit of amusement in there too but only just a little. Blues place is always impeccable and clean, everything in its rightful place, looking and smelling fresh but right now the politest word I can come up with for it is a dump! There are red party plastic cups everywhere, foil plates, pizza boxes, clothes, the furniture in disarray most of it overturned and the air so thick and funky.
"Blue?" I call again as I try to find my way through the mess on the floor. It's kind of dark in here too since the curtains are all still drawn. I stumble over something solid on the floor and it groans. What the_?
"Blue?" I poke the solid groaning thing with my finger, pulling clothes from its face _his face in this matter. Its Kenji under that.
"I've dreamt about waking up to that face one morning but I have to say definitely not under these circumstances," he croaks in a broken voice a very fowl breath and all.
"Well, you're not Blue." That one holding no interest to me anymore, I get up and resume my quest. "What happened in here Kenji? Its Monday morning for crying out loud, don't you have a job?" I move toward the window to draw the curtains and open it cause this room badly needs some light and some fresh air.
"Can someone please shut that bitch up!" That is Skylar's voice this time because I'd know that voice from anywhere. Calling me a bitch doesn't bother me one bit, what does is that the voice came from somewhere Blues bed is supposed to be.
"What!?" I draw the blinds so fast and in my haste the light almost blinds me too because my eyes had also kind of adjusted to the darkness.
There's an immediate chorus of groggy "what the fucks and heyys...' all coming from different corners of the house and mummy like creatures awakening from the floor. On the couch is Kiara, somewhere behind a beanbag is Ethan_
"I love you Riley, I really do but in this moment I have to say you aren't my favourite person in the world," Kiara says rubbing at her eyes with rundown mascara.
"I don't think_" Ethan begins but Blues voice cuts him off
"Can you refrain from loving on my girlfriend?" I look to where its coming from, "At least not while I'm in the room."
"That," Ethan finishes his statement, pointing over his shoulder toward Blue. Blues jealous streak is kind of legendary among the friends.
It looks like a scene from a hip-hop music video on Blue's bed with her in bed with two hot girls if the girls were fully clothed. So I'm still her girlfriend huh? Doesn't look too convincing from where I'm standing. She gets up and dislodges her octopi companions who immediately fall back onto their pillows. I'm talking about Skylar and Lona.
"Hi babe." She walks shakily towards me, her body unbalanced with a bed head crazy as hell. This shouldn't be her most flattering look but somehow she manages to look adorable and sexy hot. I've got it bad. I put out my hands to steady her but she takes it as an invite to pull me into her arms and start feeling me up and I let her. I wish I could resist her because this doesn't seem like the right time but I don't have the power to.
"So, a night with your ex huh?" I can't help it if the jealousy in my voice comes out. She isn't the only one allowed to be jealous plus Shae isn't an ex who still has the hots for me so I think I'm more justified here.
"What? Babe, no!" She pulls back from the hug a little to look me in the eyes. Her mascara is all smeared too which gives her an emo goth look that I think I weirdly find attractive.
"No? Was that not you getting out of the same bed she's in right now?" I know I see Lona in it too but still.
"Drama drama... Now I can almost forgive you for disrupting our sleep," Kenji says from where he's seated on the floor.
"What are you all still doing here?" Blue looks past me as if only now registering her friends are still around.
"Waiting for the show down," Ethan replies, rubbing his hands together like a silly movie villain. Attention makes me uncomfortable so I pull away from Blue but she tags on my fingers preventing me from walking away. Funny how the tables can turn. I'm not going anywhere though. I know we need to talk(never thought I'd ever use that phrase) and I'm not going anywhere without talking first but her friends need to go somewhere, like to their homes or work.
"Don't you guys like have jobs school or homes?" Blue asks, as I start picking up around their cluttered bodies because someone could slip on a red cup and die, just kidding.
"Hey guys, I think that's Blue's not so polite way of saying get the fuck out," Kiara says, finally uncurling herself from the couch.
"Not so fast, you need to help clean this place first." They can't leave all this clutter to just me and Blue after all it's their mess.
"What are you, the cleanliness police?" Skylar pipes in ever so charmingly.
"No she isn't but its best you listen to her or next time you'll do this shit from elsewhere," Blue tells her.
"Ohhh, she calls it shit now, I didn't hear you call it shit yesterday, and Saturday night." Lona speaks up for the first time since I got here.
"You guys have been here since Saturday?" No wonder it smells so funky in here.
"Yeah, a certain someone needed some cheering up. Her emotions were all over the place."
"I didn't have my emotions all over the place," Blue grumbles, busying herself with rightening her furniture. They all get up in their zombie like states and start helping out too.
Blue corners me in the kitchen where I've gone to dump the trash. "Hey," she says, backing me slowly up against the counter. Any other day I'd be all over this but we are in the middle of a fight and I need to maintain fight etiquette.
"Hey yourself," I reply, my back hitting the counter. She stands in my space her body pressed against mine.
"Don't I get a kiss today?" She sticks out her already pouty lips.
"I say this with all the love in the world baby but not before you brush that mouth. What crawled in there and died!?"
In the living area the boys fall over themselves laughing.
"Told you she was the cleanliness police," I hear Skylar say.
Blues smiles adoringly at me, "Only you can insult someone in the sweetest way." With her fowl mouth she plants a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek.
"Eeww! Get off me," I shreek trying to push her off me but she hangs on, sinking her teeth into my cheek too. "Oh my god, did you just bite me!?" She then pulls off me looking smug and happy with herself.
"Gross gross gross..." I say, rubbing at my cheek.
"On that very satisfying note, I'll take that bath now," she says moving away from me. "And the rest of you, get out of my house. I don't want you getting fired on my account."
"So sweet that one," Ethan says, the sarcasm in his tone so thick you could cut through it with a knife. I get only a moment of peace before Skylar is on me.
"So, trouble in paradise already?" I wish I could beat that smirk she's wearing off her face.
"Not your business I think."
"Is it beginning to wear off, the excitement. She tired of you already?" She does that annoying thing again where she goes on like I haven't spoken.
"Wouldn't you love that?" I can hear the others bustling in the living area (where are my shoes, can't find my earring, aren't you guys hungry...)
"One day soon its going to happen and do you know who she'll run to, me." I'm trying not to let her words get to me but I hate to admit that that one does.. The thought of Blue being with someone else is unsettling but her being with Skylar would just about destroy me and I'm not just being dramatic here. For one, she's a bitch and Blue deserves better and two because they have a history, don't ask me to explain that but I know that fact makes it worse.
"Then how about before that happens you stay out of my space?" I say with all that bravado I don't feel.
"Sky? Why don't you leave Riley alone and come do your whole bitch routine from elsewhere," Kenji says coming to my rescue.
"Glad to know its a whole routine and it isn't just me. Thanks K." Kenji takes Skylar's hand and pulls her away.
"Don't worry, the rest of us love you," Lona shouts as they head out and it warms my heart. Kiara says something about Blue not catching her saying that and they walk away tittering with laughter.
* * *
"Thanks for helping clean the mess," Blue says quietly looking up at me from her bowl of cereal.
"What exactly happened here?" I ask, leaning on the counter on the side furthest from her but the kitchen is small so it isn't so far.
"Uh, we did the whole hangout Saturday thing, then we ah...decided to extend it till Sunday, then we went to club and then we came and passed out..." She trails off timidly, like she's talking to a school teacher.
"So you decided to pass out in bed with your ex?" My tone is a bit tasty.
She puts down her spoon and looks me square in the eye, "I didn't decide_" But I'm feeling a little bit angry at what looks like hypocrisy to me. How could she be mad at me for loving my friend in a totally platonic way and fall in bed with her ex less than twenty four hours later.
"And you get mad at me for what? Taking a picture with my friend?" I cut her off accusingly.
"Riley listen to me. We just passed out, nothing happened."
"Oh, now she asks me to listen, you didn't listen to me the other day about Shae, what was it you asked again, why do I let it? Well tell me then Blue, we know Skylar's excuse, what is yours?" I use her very words against her.
"Riley like I said, I passed out. I didn't really know with whom or when or where." She talks gesticulating wildly with her hands her lips pressed in a thin line.
"Let's blame it on the booze why don't we?" I bite back angrily.
"At least I have an excuse," she mumbles under her breath but I hear it loud and clear.
"Oh my god Blue I don't need an excuse to be friendly with my friend!" Our voices have risen so high, I don't think I've ever taken this tone with anyone but this situation is frustrating.
"Sky is my friend too, so I don't see_"
"She is your ex too! Who happens to still be in love with you! And also hates my guts," I cut in.
"There's the thing baby, she's the one in love with me and not the other way round!" She gets up and walks until she's standing in my space. She grips my blouse in her hands, her voice taking on a soft cadence, "You need to trust me baby or this_" but I'm already reacting even before she gets through her sentence. I need to trust her!? What about me? Don't I deserve trust?
I shove her off me because a) I think she's being condescending right now and b) because I'm not ready for her to touch me. I still have some anger left in me and if she touches me stupid me won't be able to resist falling into her.
"I need to trust you? How about me, hm? Do I get accorded the same respect?" Her reaction is surprising. She smiles and I don't see what she could be smiling about.
"Blue I really don't see any reason as to why you would be smiling right now."
"I'm so sorry babe but only you would use 'accorded the same respect' in an argument. It's adorable," she explains and I find myself laughing with her.
"Nope. You aren't getting off that easy. Blue, if you want me to trust you then you're also going to have to trust me. Shea is not a threat because we don't like each other that way which I can't say for Skylar."
She's quite for a second or two looking down at her feet, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Babe,I do trust you," she finally says softly.
"Then what was Saturday all about?" I sound so incredulous.
"Shae isn't my problem really, you are." What!? She looks at me and registers my shocked expression and begins to backtrack, her hand wanting to touch me but I back away. "No babe, not like that. Not in any way you're probably thinking." I cross my arms over my chest and wait for her to explain.
"Its just.. I wasn't okay seeing you like that with someone else. You can cuddle up to your friend in bed and even take pictures of it but I can't do that with you. I'm this...this secret. I guess I was jealous that you and Shae can do that, actually no, angry that she gets to do that with my girlfriend and I can't." She trails off and a silence descends upon us.
I don't know what to say all this so I just say, "So it still is about Shae?"
"What? I tell you that and_okay, yeah, I guess it kinda is about Shae a little but that's not the point here Riley." Her voice rises as it goes.
"Then what is?"
"The point baby is I want to be that person lying in bed with you nuzzling into your neck, I want to be the one you look at like I hang the moon, I want to be able to do the 'affectionate' things you do with Shae and no one bats an eye, I don't want to be a...a_"
"A secret." I finish for her. And I feel her too. I don't want to be hiding her too because she deserves better. She's so beautiful she deserves to be flaunted. I'd love for everyone to know I love this beautiful person but_ I can't, I don't know how to and I don't think I'm ready for my friends to hate me. I plop my ass onto a stool because now all the fight is drained from me. "Blue,I cant_"
"I know you can't and that's what Saturday was about. I was angry because I don't know if you'll ever get to do that, if you'll ever not be scared!" Her voice keeps rising which I don't like so I retaliate defensively.
"Why are you shouting at me?" I shout back. Shouting at me really unsettles me.
"Because you frustrate me Riley, you drive me crazy. My emotions and values I usually had under control until I met you." She stops and begins rubbing at her wrist, along the chain tattoo with her other hand. Her voice is lower now, softer. "I promised myself, I promised myself I'd never hide again but Riley, I..." Her voice quivers a little before it breaks off. Her face contorts like she's in pain. Clearly this hiding business is causing her so much pain. Seeing me be okay with other people's affections in public but not hers isn't fair to her and I can see that now.
"Then don't," I hear myself say quietly but I'm not quite sure I'm the one talking. What am I even saying? Some demon must have taken over my mouth because it can't bee saying that. I can't lose her, I can't let her go, not yet, not now, or ever.
"You don't get it, I can't not do it. I'd rather hide with you Riley than not be with you at all. I'd rather we have this same argument over and over again than not have you at all."
I want to cry because no one and nothing has ever made me feel like I feel in this moment. My mouth is also spewing some very absurd things today so I find myself asking, "Why?"
"Why?" She shouts looking at me like I'm a crazy person "Because I love you you doofus!" I feel all of my insides melt into jelly. "I love you Riley," Blues voice cuts into my little piece of heaven I have going on in my head right now. I look up into her eyes_will I ever get used to what her eyes make me feel? She cups my cheek gently and looks me straight in the eye with such intensity I think I want to sit down.
"I think I need to sit down," I say and Blue's face morphs into a wide smile.
"Babe, youre already sitting down," she informs me. I am? Of course I am.
"So you love me huh? Like for real?" Why am I asking stupid questions? But I really want to know. "Isn't it a little too soon for that? Do you think its soon? Maybe it is, maybe...maybe_" Blue cuts off my rumbling with a small chaste kiss.
"You're so adorable when you ramble," she smiles down at me. "I don't know about too soon baby but that's just how I feel. Just the idea of never having you in my life scares me."
I've never really been in love, atleast not that I can remember. Infatuated with some people? Probably but love, I really don't know. Is this what love is? I've been thinking I love her a lot lately but is it really. This incessant urge to be with her all the time, her ability to light me up and turn me into mush in the same moment, the way she can single handedly turn me into a pathetic mess, make me beg, scream, plead and then turn around and make me smile, laugh, love... Is this what love is?
"I see you struggling with this so I'll give you time, okay?" She kisses my forehead and somewhere below my eye before she walks away leaving me to a battle with myself.
Me: Riley, are you okay? That beautiful creature out there loves you and you're what? Just seated here?
Me: I know but what if she's just confused?
Me: Why are you even questioning it? When was the last time you felt even slightly loved?
Me: But its too soon and we just had our first fight. What if she just used the line to placate me?
Me: Has she ever lied to you?
Me: Well, no.
Me: Then what are you doing? Go tell that girl you love her too.
I find her pacing in front of the couch worrying her thumb in her mouth. She stops when she sees me standing there watching her. She watches me right back, expectantly.
I put my hand on her chest and push her down on the couch, then I climb a top her_I love doing that. I bring my hand to her left breast, right where I imagine her heart would be and look into her stupid pale brown eyes that I love so fucking much, "Show me?" I whisper. She lifts a little and she's kissing me, her hands mapping my body through my clothes.
"Can we take this else where," she says when we break apart to get some oxygen into our lungs. There's a certain air that has descended upon us like we are in some kind of fragile bubble. I get off her wordlessly and pull her to bed. She disrobes me slowly kisses trailing my skin with every layer of cloth I lose. She pushes me backward onto the bed then takes off her clothes too.
"Turn around," she commands so I turn onto my stomach my back exposed to her. She climbs on top of me laying herself flat on my back with every inch of our bodies touching. I close my eyes and let myself just feel. I can feel Blues hands map my skin, her lips following in their wake, moving across the expanse of my shoulders and back in what I could only describe as fascination.
"I love this, tasting your skin, feeling your body tremble in my hands. I love how soft your skin feels. I love loving you."
"Babe, lift up," she says swatting my ass lightly. She puts a pillow beneath me exposing me from behind. I resist the urge to open my eyes and look back at her. Instead I stay, waitin, pulse thumping in my ears and reminding myself to breathe. A whisper of air ghosts across my sensitive wet skin and suddenly blues tongue is there licking me slowly, then deeply, then fast and I'm making so much noise but I don't care. Then suddenly the heavenly feel of her tongue is gone and I let out a pathetic sound in protest. She moves back up my body and kisses me at the back of my neck, takes my sensitive earlobe between her teeth and whispers in my ear.
"Turn back around love," she says her breath making me shiver. I do turn around and she immediately settles herself on top of me. She goes straight for my lips and her hand moves down and my legs fall open instinctively. Her fingers sink smoothly into me thanks to the earlier work of her tongue and I gasp out loud.
"Riley, baby, I want you inside me like yesterday." She pants into my mouth so we manoeuvre onto our sides so I can gain access to her too. The way her hands touch me, possesing me, her teeth marking me makes me feel so loved.
"I love you, I love you Blue, fuck!" I say repeatedly under my breath as we both ride to our mutual release.
"I love you too babe. I love you." I say out loud to her reaffirming. If her smile grows any wider her lips will no doubt split.