Then Came Blue_ girlxgirl.

chapter 13

When you love someone you'll believe just about anything they tell you like believing it when she says  'it'll be okay' meeting her parents for the first time at their fancy anniversary dinner party and you believe it. It won't be okay but the fact that you believe her blindly just because you love then is insane and I think I am insane. Blue wants to buy me a dress but I'm not really sure about that.
"Babe please, give me this. I just really want to spoil my girl. Plus what's the point of two girls in a relationship if we can't go shopping together, huh?" Blue says pulling me along through the mall.
"Babe, shopping makes me grumpy and I don't want to be like that around you." Shopping really makes me grumpy and you'd think the tomboy in this relationship would be the one to hate shopping but surprise surprise. Blue halts unexpectedly causing me to bump into her. "Hey_" I start to say but she whips around and cups my face in her hands right there in the centre of the mall.
"I don't care how you get and I want to experience every single side of you," she says. My stomach makes a flip and I feel my heart swell about ten times more.
"Okay."
"Now come, let's go." She smiles so bright taking my hand again and pulling a less resistant me along.
About forty minutes later I deliver on the grumpiness. I've been trying on dresses_and other things to Blues fancy and each time something isn't right about the dress; not flattering enough, too short, too tight, not cute enough, not really feeling it... It's all getting tedious and I'm getting really agigated but for some reason Blue finds it 'cute'. Cute!? The little shit. I don't feel cute at all right now, I feel tired and sweaty and disgusting.
"Babe, babe! Try this one." An excited Blue comes at me with a cream dress that I'm sure will follow the same fate as all the others plus I'm just not much of a cream fan.
"Bluuueee, I don't like cream." I'm practically whining now but I take the dress anyway.
"I know but this is more for me than for you," she says as she plants a wet noisy kiss on my cheek. My jerking away is sort of a reflex and so is the way I look around like I'm doing something wrong. I see the hurt flash in Blues eyes and her smile starts to fall. The amount of guilt and shame that washes over me is instantaneous.
"I'm sorry Blue," I apologize immediately. "I'm still getting used to this." I gesture between us.
"I don't get it. One moment I think you're coming around to it and the next you're just_" she trails off weakly, her shoulders slumping sadly.
"Blue, I know but_" I begin to explain but she cuts me off with a shushing sound.
"You know what, let's not let that ruin our afternoon. We'll fight about it later." She smiles at me now, all the hurt and pain from a moment a go completely gone from her expression.
"Okay," I reply. Who am I to argue with postponing a fight.
"Now go try on that dress for me." She pushes me toward the changing rooms. The dress turns out not to be as bad as I'd thought. It's a simple skater dress that barely reaches my knees with a low cut back. When I step out of the changing room Blue isn't anywhere in sight. She's probably scouting the place for other options.
"Wow. The only way you'd look better in that dress would be if it were off your body," a very deep husky, masculine voice and definitely not Blue's voice says from behind me. My eyes snap up into the mirror to see who the voice belongs to. The guy I see in the mirror is handsome alright and he looks fit enough to bench press me plus that smile he is flushing me probably would have had an effect on me months ago but not today.
"A bit too forward don't you think?"
"I'm not one to beat around the bush in front of a beautiful woman." He says drawing closer to my back which is still turned to him.
"I've been called beautiful before but thank you still." I flash him my most polite smile.
"Beautiful and confident, will you marry me?" I can't help but laugh at that. Where was this guy when I was still trying to convince myself I was into dudes?
"Slow down there Flash. Even if you were my type, there's already a someone who wouldn't be thrilled about that."
"Oh, there's is a someone, of course there is a someone."
"Yeah."
 "Okay, how about you just take my number_" I open my mouth to tell him I won't be doing that but Blue is quicker.
"She doesn't want your number," Blues hard voice comes from somewhere behind the guys wide frame. She comes out and stands by my side her hard eyes burning into the dude.
"Sorry?" The dude asks.
"I said she doesn't need your number." She repeats gritted teeth and all. Her hand goes possessively around my waist.
"Maybe she's your friend but I don't think that's your place to decide," the dude says looking amused at Blue's audacity.
"Oh, you think?" Blue asks, the challenge audible in her voice. Before I know what's happening Blue grabs my neck and pulls my lips to hers. Its not even a kiss as per say, it's just lips and teeth clashing together so fast and furious and before I can even process that it's actually happening she pulls back and goes back to glaring at the dude. "How is that for my place to decide?" She challenges.
I'm sure the look on the poor guys face mirrors mine exactly. I don't think I'll ever be able to pick my jaw off the floor. I cannot believe she actually did that, infront of a stranger and in public like that.
"Wow! Y'all are dykes?" The guys bewildered voice and  probably his choice of words bring me back to. I feel Blue go rigid beside me like she's bracing herself for something. She stands a bit taller and stares down the guy.
"Yeah. Do you have a problem?" She asks the guy, her arm around my waist squeezing tighter. I've never seen her like this, menacing and  looking down someone almost twice her size. I want to be mad at her for probably outing us to a potential homophobe but I can't. Not now when she looks like she'd fight anything or anyone for us.
"Nope. Just surprised is all," the guy replies beginning to walk away and I feel Blue relax. I let also let out a relieved breath I hadn't realised I was holding. "Be careful out there though," he adds before he turns and walks away.
As the guy disappears from sight I feel myself begin to get angry. Did she have to go and do that in front of a stranger? What if he had turned out to be a homophobic prick? Je would have probably insulted us. I don't think I could  bare the look of disgust on someone's face. What was Blue thinking? What if someone I knew happened to be in the same store at the same time?
I take her hand off my waist. "Blue what the hell?" I'm whisper shouting because we are in a public place.
"What? What did I do?"
"What did you do? Was that kiss really necessary? What if dude had turned out to be homophobic? What if someone I know had been around here somehow?"
"Yeah, but that didn't happen did it? None of that happened!" She's irritated too.
"Oh, so you think its okay for you to go around claiming me like that?!?"
"Claiming? I wasn't claiming you! That dude was flirting with you and I wanted it to stop!" She's not whisper shouting anymore. Her voice is getting higher and I don't care at this point.
"So what? You're going to do that every time someone hits on me?"
"Why not!? You're my girlfriend and people need to know that." Her voice lowers considerably on the word girlfriend.
"Do they? I don't think they do. I think what matters is that we know." Isn't it?
"It's not enough, okay!" Blue shouts.
"What?"
"Riley, I love you, you know I do but the hiding hurts sometimes. Like what you did earlier, I only kissed you on the cheek and you flinched and it  was just on the cheek. You haven't introduced me to any of your friends, you haven't even acknowledged my existence to any one_"
"Stop." I can't hear anymore. When you're doing something and don't realize the consequences it's easy for you to deal with until they are laid before you. I know us or me forcing her to get back in the closet with me isn't what Blue would prefer but sometimes I don't realize how much it affects her, how selfish of me it is. Maybe she's better off without me. How can I claim to love her and still do this to her? But what about me? I'm not ready. I turn around and walk back to the changing rooms because I just need some space to beat myself up alone.
"Riley, don't be mad." Blue follows me into the room however watching me as I angrily throw my clothes back on.
"I'm not mad," I reply. I'm really not mad at her but at myself for hurting the one person that has been my joy and knowing I'm going to keep doing it because I'm a coward and she deserves better but I want her all to myself so add selfish to my sins.
"Really? So then why are you being like this? I'm sorry for those things I said."
"Except you shouldn't be, its how you feel and I understand why you feel that way." I look at her when I say this then push past her out of the room and move toward the exit of the store.
"Where are you going? Riley, let's talk about this."
"I just need a moment," I say rubbing her arm in a reassuring gesture.
"A moment? How long is a moment? What about the dress? We didn't get one." Now she looks confused and stressed out which actually makes me feel even worse. She shouldn't have to feel any more negative feelings because of me. Blue is like a ray of sunshine that nothing should ever dull.
"Go on home baby, I'll find a dress." I give her one last reassuring hug her fingers clutching at my clothes when I walk away. One hiccup to our day already, a fight that leaves me feeling like shit and probably Blue too because she thinks she pissed me off. She has called me enough times since I left her at that store but I didn't pick each time. I just seriously need sometime.
I do find a dress however like I promised and I think it's something Blue will like because its a bit on the short side, its a skater like the cream one she had chosen but mine is a wine-red color and instead of a plunging back, it has this top to bottom zipper I'm sure will drive Blue crazy.I threw a hissy fit when I left her earlier in the day but now I have to go back to her place because I don't know where her parents house is and and I can't show up without the person who invited me.
                             * * * *
"Did I walk into the wrong apartment?" I ask no one in particular when I walk into Blues apartment. Its like a mad house. It's bustling with activity, everyone walking in different directions, in different stages of wear, the noise, the confusion in the air... It looks like the whole gang will be coming too and thank goodness.
"Oh, hi Riley. Blue, Riley's here." Lona is the only one who spares me a glance and probably Skylar whose leaning against the wall looking bored as hell and if I have to  admit sexy too in a little black dress and a pair of white sneakers. Blue comes rushing from the kitchen in navy blue dress pants and a vest looking a little too eager. I'm not very surprised to note that she isn't wearing a dress today. She stands in front of me bouncing on her heels awkwardly because she doesn't know how we stand after my whole dramatic exit at the store.
"You don't need the rest of that outfit. You look good already," I say, giving her a little chaste kiss on the lips. I see her body sag with visible relief before she pulls me tightly into her arms.
"I'm so glad you're here," she says into my shoulder and I squeeze a little tighter. Over her shoulder I see Skylar roll her eyes from where she's watching us. Thanks for your input on our relationship Skylar. I want to stick my tongue out at her but we are not five anymore.
"Riley, it's good to see you but get out of Blues arms and dress up already." Kiara the ever present mother hen is on me in an instant pulling me away from Blue and to the 'bedroom' which has a new feature in it, a dress mirror.
"When did we get this?" I ask no one in particular but the question is obviously addressed to Blue.
"The girls brought it." is Blue's reply which makes sense.
"Why are you all in a hurry? Blue said this thing doesn't begin until 8 at least?" I ask.
"Yeah, but we like to get there early so we can see everyone as they arrive. We are the fashion critiques," Kiara says with a self pleased grin.
"Mh, this is nice," Kenji says stepping in from the kitchen, a tin of yoghurt in hand. "Oh,hi Riley."
"Do you ever stop eating?" Lona asks from where she's applying her make-up. They start to bicker about that when Kiara turns me to the mirror and begins to gently brush some  make-up on my face. Blue comes and  stands beside me and watching, her hand resting on my shoulder.
"Hey, don't you have a shirt to put on or something?" Kiara asks, shooing her away. "You'll see her when I'm finished."
"Slave driver," Blue grumbles but she moves away, squeezing my shoulder before she leaves.
"Where's Ethan?" I ask.
"Stop talking or I can't do a good job."
"He went to find us a car bigger than your girlfriends Fortwo." Skylar replies and I'm so surprised because its the first time she's addressed me without insulting me. When Kiara is done with my make-up she asks or more like commands me to put on my dress. I turn around to find the bag with my clothes but my eyes fall on Blue instead. She has tucked in the vest and added a fitting blue blazer that leaves some of the tattoos on her arms exposed and a pair of vans. She looks dressy but also casual and its sexy as fuck. I stand there open mouthed staring at her. She doesn't make a move to come by way too. She just stands there looking at me and biting her bottom lip anxiously looking for my approval yet showing off for me in the same breath.
"You two are hopeless," Kiara cuts into our stare down. "Blue, go finish from else where because if you're here Riley will never get anything done." She shoves a make-up bag in Blues hands and pushes her down the isle. She turns to me and orders, "You, get dressed!"
Twenty minutes later I'm done and dressed. Dress on, hair and make-up in place all with Kiara's looking over me like a mother. When I walk out of the bedroom, Kenji let's out a very loud whistle I'd be offended if I didn't really need the approval. "Damn Riley!" He says, making me blush a bit. Lona is forcing Blue to get her eyebrows tamed if even a little and because of this she can't turn around immediately to look at me.
"Lona let me see, let me see, let me see!" She says trying to push Lona away.
"I'm about done here so wait a minute," Lona replies unmoved by the urgency in Blues voice.
"Riley, do you think if it weren't for B you and I_" Kenji begins to ask but Blue cuts him off.
"Don't finish that question you asshole." We all start to laugh because she reacted exactly as predicted even when we all know it's just Kenji being Kenji. Skylar's input however is the most shocking and what does Blue in.
"You're not my type Riley but I think today even I would tap that." Blue pushes Lona off in one swift shove and turns around to look at me.
Her eyes lock with mine and hold before moving down to take me all in. Her eyes take me in, from my face with a little makeup Kiara put on me down to my short maroon skater dress with a deep plunging neckline and side cut outs and then down to my strappy black stilletoes.  She stalks towards me slowly not saying a thing and I begin to fidget with nerves. I've never felt so self conscious, five pairs of eyes all on me is a little too much especially when  I'm not in my everyday comfortable clothes.
"So?" I ask getting impatient with her silence.
She's now standing in front of me her smoldering eyes looking into me. "You look...wow!" She finally mumbles, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Very articulate Blue," Kenji says and they all fall over themselves laughing at her but she doesn't even look their way.
"You chose this dress just to drive me crazy didn't you?" She finally asks caressiny skin where the dress plunges low on the neckline. I smile because she read me just right.
"Wait until you see the back," I say, doing a slow twirl to show her the top to bottom zipper in the back.
"Agghh!" She groans. "I'm going to be thinking about opening that zipper all night long." She pulls me back to the bedroom and in front of the mirror. She steps in behind me wrapping her arms around my waist, her front pressed to my back.We stand there looking at each other in the mirror everyone else in the room forgotten.
"Do you know what I'll be thinking about this entire night?" She whispers hotly in my ear. "I'll be thinking of us in this mirror, me behind you like this pulling down this zipper and my hands finding their way onto your skin. Gently taking this beautiful dress off your body..." I can't take my eyes off hers in the mirror. I can see the rapid rise and fall of my chest with the effect her words have on my body. Looking into her eyes I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling the heat pooling up between my legs. I'm drowning into her smoky mascara framed eyes.
"Is there a chance we can ditch this party and do all that?" I ask, my voice sounding foreign to my own ears.
"Much as I'd love a free porn show, I think I'd rather we go where there's free food." Ethan's voice interrupts, Ethan who arrived at some point and I didn't even notice because I was too busy hoping my girlfriends whisperings could come to life.
I pull out of Blues arms and turn around to face the rest feeling totally exposed.
  "Hi Ethan." I say shyly.
"Oh, they still remember our names," Kiara says with so much sarcasm.
"Shut up. Can we go now?" Blue asks.
"We would have been out if here like yesterday if you and your girlfriend didn't decide to go all...." Skylar mumbles walking out so I don't quite catch that last part.
"You're just jealous you don't have one." Lona shouts at her retreating back.
"Kids, kids..."Kiara says in her 'mum tone' making us all laugh and lightening the moment.
The whole journey Blue can't seem to keep her hands to herself which irritates some people.
"You two need a room?" Skylar finally asks with no ounce of amusement in her voice.
"I'm sure we'll get one soon," Blue replies winking at her.
"That's my girl!" Kenji shouts ever so proudly making us laugh. I'm so glad I found Blue and her friends who accept me so easily like I've always been one of them. Sometimes however I can't help but feel like I'm living two lives and tonight is not one of those days. Tonight I feel lile I'm in a place of love and acceptance. Tonight I feel like I belong.