Then Came Blue_ girlxgirl.

chapter 10

Imagine you've been on riding on some kind of high feeling all good and zen and  suddenly you're dosed in ice cold water. That's what that first fight feels like in a relationship, at least in this relationship that's what it feels like.
Blue and I are lounging on the sofa in some post coitus bliss her head resting in my lap. I'm flipping through a magazine I picked up somewhere but I'm not really into it. My mind is hooked on the events of the last few minutes, the way Blue loved me, took care of me, how gentle and satisfying she was and how she used her hands and tongue to make my body bend to her will. How soon can we_
"Riley? Hey, earth to Riley!" Blue says snapping her fingers in my face. I looked down at her feeling blushy.
"Sorry, yes?"
"Who's this?" She asks, showing me something on my phone. She asked if she could go through my phone and I didn't see why not after all I don't think I have anything to hide in there. What she's showing me is a picture of me and Shae, we are lying in my bed with my face in the crook of her neck. I wasn't nuzzling her neck but it would seem that way. I  was just hiding because I didn't want to have my picture taken early morning before I had even had a chance to wash my face.
"Oh that's Shae, you met her that first night we met, remember?"
"Not really, I only had eyes for one that night."
My heart swells. "You flatter me," I reply, bending down to kiss her. Its an awkward kiss because of how we are seated and the angels are all wrong but we make it work.
She turns her head from the kiss bringing my lips to her cheek.
"You two seem a little too chummy with each other." There's a certain note to her tone I decide not to pay much attention to.
"Of course we are, she's my friend, my roommate_"
"No Riley, I mean like real chummy." I know what she's talking about. Shae and I will seem real close in most pictures but that's just Shae, she's kind of physical.
"That's just how Shae is, she's a little touchy feely?"
Blue gets off my lap and sits up. "What about you?" She asks, her voice so so flat.
Huh? "What about me? What about me what?"
"Do you like her?"
What? "Of course I like her, she's my friend, its what friends do you know, like each other."
"Riley, do you like like her?" She asks with such seriousness in her tone. I look at her hard for a second
"What!? No!!!" What!!!?? I put the magazine down giving her my full attention. "Where did you even get that from?"
"I don't know, maybe because every picture in here you two look so intimate."
"Are you being serious right now? I just told you, Shae is very affectionate."
"Yeah, that's Shae's excuse but what's yours? Why do you allow it? Do you like her?" She insists.
This is absurd I think. I want to laugh at this because the idea of Shae and I is inconceivable but then I can't. What she's asking might be ridiculous but behind the seriousness on her face I can see pain too and anger because her eyes have lost the warmth they usually have, they almost look just plain cold.
I inch toward her and frame her face with my hands but she shakes me off. I try again a second time and she let's me
"Blue,I love Shae_" She bats my hands off her face even before I can complete my statement. "Wait, I'm still talking, I do love Shae but not like that. Plus she's very straight."
"Oh yeah? So if she wasn't straight you'd like her that way?" She snarls at me.
"What? I didn't say that, stop twisting my words around!"
"I don't need to twist your words, these pictures speak volumes. Look, here you're all in each others space, here you are gazing at her like she hung the moon, oh, and my favourite, you're in bed with her, nuzzling into her neck!" She swipes angrily as she talks, her voice rising with each swipe. I don't know how we went from a blissful afternoon to this?
"We are in each others space because that's how pictures are taken! And I wasn't nuzzling into her neck, I was trying to hide my face from the camera!" At this point I'm beginning to shout too because 'what the fuck?'
"Why was she in your bed then? You don't take selfies with me in your bed, actually you kick me out of your bed every morning," she throws back.
"Because you and I in bed would raise a lot of suspicion, my friends don't know you and out of the blue I'm taking pictures with a butch girl in bed!?"
I regret those words the minute they leave my mouth. The way Blue's face falls right then, I wish I could take it back, actually I wish I had never opened my mouth at all.
"So it's about my looks,huh. You're ashamed of me because I'm the poster girl for everything lesbian?" she asks, eyes glassy. She gets off the couch and walks away from me.
Seeing her like that, so beaten and glassy eyed is one thing I never want to see again. The painful look on her face and knowing I'm responsible for putting it there is killing me. Knowing I made Blue feel this way, Blue who has only ever been nice and patient with me. Blue was never meant to wear that face or have glassy eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
"Blue," I beg as I at her arm preventing her from walking further away. She tries to pull away but I hold on tighter. "Blue please, I'm sorry. That came out all wrong." I get off the couch I move in front of her and gently push her backward toward the couch until she plops back down on it again.
"I didn't mean it that way babe," I say, climbing into her lap and straddling her, my fingers running through her short hair. She doesn't even bother to push me away. "I'm sorry, it came out all wrong, you know I lo_I like you just the way you are, with everything that you are."
"Yeah, maybe you like me but you're ashamed of me," Her voice sounds defeated and  I don't like one bit.
"Baby I'm not ashamed of you, I'm just coward who's afraid of coming out and show the world who I am, but you, you are perfect to me in every way," I say looking into her eyes so she knows I mean every word.
"Perfect huh?" She cracks a little tiny smile and I feel like I've just seen the first glimpse of the sun on a cloudy day.
"Well you still eat a little too much but_" I can't help teasing her a bit.
"You know you like it," she says bringing her hands from where they've been flopping beside her onto my ass.
I lean in closer and put my forehead against hers breathing in the same air as her, breathing her in and I love it. I love her. I start to kiss her tentatively considering what we've just been through but it seems it isn't the time for gentle. He lips fiercely take  mine in a bruising kiss her teeth biting and clashing against mine. Her hands on my ass squeeze so hard I hear myself moan loudly. This doesn't feel like the gentle love making we've been doing, this feels harder, more punishing than loving and it's hot. She puts her fingers in my hair and tags, exposing my neck just before she sinks her teeth in and begins to suck hard. I've never felt like this before, I want to push her off but I also want her to keep doing exactly what she's doing and more.
"You're mine Riley, and this neck is mine," she whispers right before she takes my earlobe between her lips making me shiver all over.
"Yes baby," I say lost in the sensations my body is experiencing.
She pulls up my shirt and throws it somewhere her teeth continuing to kiss and suck every exposed part of my skin. I'm definitely going to be filled with marks after this but I don't care. I want every one of those marks because she's right, I'm all hers. She tries to flip us over on the couch and she succeeds albeit awkwardly. She continues her onslaught on my skin, eliciting pleasure sounds from me.
She pops the buttons on the shorts I'm wearing and slips her fingers inside me. I call out her name, my fingernails digging into the flesh of her back. Looking at me, she works me from inside my shorts, touching all the right spots and turning me into jelly.
"Does Shae make you feel this way?" She asks, looking me dead straight in the eye.
"Babe, Shae and I_"
"Does she make you feel this way?" She cuts me off mid sentence.
"No Blue, only you," I whimper shamelessly. I did not know that possessiveness could be this hot.
I move my hands to strings of her sweats expertly unknotting them because I want to touch her too. My hand is at a weird angle but she still throws her head back and moans loudly when my fingers manage to slip it inside her panties where she's already wet and ready. 
"You're so wet," I say.
"As are you and_"
My phone suddenly begins to ring cutting her off and the the ringtone startling us
"Fuck, I need to reduce the volume on that thing," I say in between kisses. And who could be calling right now?
"Can you keep going, I'm sure whoever it is will eventually stop," she says, bringing her hand to hold mine in place so I won't stop. So I let the phone ring continuing to play with Blue and loving the little whimpering noises that come out of her. I can hear my breathing pick up as her fingers continue to tap my spot right.
But my phone starts up again. "Fuck!" Blue reaches for it irritably from the armrest probably to throw it against the wall because I would love to do the same too.
"Oh look, its Shae," she says,with fake enthusiasm.
Shae? What could she want because she never calls.
"Let me see that," I say, reaching for it.
"Your going to answer a call in the middle of this?" She points down to where my hand is still inside her.
"Who says I can't do both?" I ask her, moving my fingers experimentally but she doesn't impressed at all.
"Oh yeah?" She hands me my phone pulling her own fingers out of me.  I answer the call and put the phone to my ear and immediately Shae starts crying in my ear.
"Riley, I think I need you."
This snaps me out of the sex mode and I withdraw my fingers. With an expert eye roll Blue gets off me and I sit up too, everything but Shae and what could be going on now forgotten. I hear Blue groan next to me groan in frustration this time so I place my hand on her lap to placate her.
"Shae honey, take a deep breath and tell me what's going on."
"It's Brian. Riley can you come back?" She's sniffling and crying.
"First, you need to stop crying and yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can." Besides me Blue snorts and pushes my hand off her lap. I turn to her and mouth a 'sorry?' but she turns away from me, picking up her own phone.
"Riley, will you come?" Shae who's still on the phone asks.
"Yeah, I'm coming. Give me about thirty minutes." When she has said okay and asked me to come with ice cream, I hang up the phone and turn to Blue.
"Babe I have to_"
"You have to go, yes I heard." Her voice is crisp, hard and dry. Even strangers don't talk this way to each other.
"Blue?" I try to touch her again but she shrugs my hand off.
"Your Shae needs you, why don't you go and be with her." She practically spits the words.
Blue never speaks to me like that and I have to admit it stings and scares me as well. She gets off the couch and walks away too which makes my heart sink into my legs.
"Blue?" I call after her, my voice sounding so weak and needy in a way I don't particularly like. "Blue talk to me? Are you mad?"
"I'm not mad, I just think you should go be with your friend," she replies but I don't believe her at all because her behavior screams mad.
"Blue please, talk to me?" I'm not beyond begging right now. I want her to not be mad at me, I want her to stop lying to me and talking to me in that awfully flat voice. I get off the couch and follow her.  She suddenly turns back and clutches my hands in here.
"I'm going to go take a shower right now. Have fun with your friend." She takes my lips in one last bruising punishing kiss before walking away from me without even a backward glance. I hear the bathroom lock click into place and I feel like someone took my heart into a vise grip and squeezed. To be shut out like that really hurts. I want to go and bang on the door and beg or demand that she open and talk to me because I don't want us to be like this but Shae needs me.
* * *
Its been two days, two whole days and the gloom in our you can cut through with a knife. Shae and Brian finally broke up for good at least according to her story. When I found her she was in hysterics. Apparently some hard things were said and others were revealed like Brian being a dick and a cheat.
"Shae what happened?" I asked immediately I came home. I found her crying herself to exhaustion.
"Riley, he's been cheating on me. That fool has been cheating on me and I didn't see it. How could I not see it?" Shae sits up in bed dabbing at her swollen eyes.
"Oh babe, I'm so sorry."
"No Riley, that's not even the worst part. He had the audacity to look me in the eye and say, 'wait,I thought this was an open relationship?'"
"No fucking way! Did you guys ever discuss it?"
"Are crazy? Would I be this mad if we had?"
"Sorry, dumb question." I'm not very good moral support and  making people feel better about bad situations like right now. I don't know what to say or what the right thing to say is. Lou would handle this so much better.
"I feel so stupid. I can't believe I ever believed his bullshit. I mean, how could I not see it? He was always coming up with excuses to not be around...." Shae continues and I'm ashamed to say this but I zone out on her. I know I'm not being the best friend in this moment but I've got something that's been eating on my mind for two days now. Blue.
thought we had resolved the whole Shae issue and I had told her there was nothing going on there? Will she talk to me again? Maybe she'll call me and tell me everything is okay. Maybe I could go back after Shae has gone to sleep and see if we are okay, but no. I'm not the one who got mad over nothing, she should call me. What if she doesn't call? What if she never calls? The last question has me feeling things I don't want to be feeling right now like panic so I decide to put my thoughts away and be here for Shae. Blue will call, I know she will.
Another two days later and she hasn't called. I've checked my phone more times than I've probably blinked and still nothing. I sent her a simple 'Goodnight' on Saturday night but it went unanswered. I sent a 'hey' on Sunday but that also came back unanswered. Then I begun sending silly random emojis just to get a rise from her but still nothing.
Now I'm lying in bed staring at my phone searching for the right thing to type, the right words to say, wondering if I should anyway because all the messages I've sent have come back unanswered which makes me feel like I've gone from pitiful to full on pathetic.
I've been going through emotions faster than a prostitute goes through men. I've been through depression, "She didn't call😟", panic, "What if she never calls and then I lose her? I can't lose her😰, then there was acceptance, "She isn't going to call, she's done with me😔" and then finally came anger,which I can feel building up again like a fire spreading through my heart. How dare she not call me!? What exactly did I even do for her to be that mad at me? I think I deserve to know exactly why she's mad, why she has decided to ice me out like that. I think I deserve that much at least.
Its that anger that finally propels me out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself and go ask Blue what exactly is going on. Why she's ignoring me and also maybe grovel and beg her not to be mad at me anymore because I can't take it.
Shae went to class earlier today so I don't need to make excuses to anyone about where I'm going, I just grab my bag and go. Twenty minutes later I'm knocking on Blue's door but there's no answer. Its Monday morning, of course she's not home. I don't even know where her work place is. "Aaggghhhhh!" I groan in frustration, turning the stupid door knob in anger and to my surprise it turns and the door opens.
What? Could she have left her door unlocked? I push the door open cautiously and step through it. The sight that greets my eyes is very very unfamiliar and worrisome.
What the fuck happened here?
"Blue?" I call out.