Then Came Blue_ girlxgirl.

chapter 19

"Calm down, you got this," Isaac whispers to me. We are standing outside Blue's apartment. All the nerves and anxiety running through my system I'm close to passing out and Shae being here isn't helping one bit.
"Riley always gets a bit uncomfortable around people,"  Shae supplies helpfully. Uncomfortable, if only she knew the half of it. Ethan opens the door and a wide grin spreads across his face when he sees us standing there.
"Guys, Riley is here!" he shouts out. "Hey Riley, good to see you." He steps aside for us to get in. He gives Isaac a bro hug and a soft  hey to Shae who steps in last.
"Wow, this place looks cute," Shae whispers to me. I think I reply but not certain because I'm kind of distracted seeing Blue all tangled up in a mess of limbs with Skylar on the floor. I don't know what they are you doing but I feel a pain that starts from my chest and spreads to every part of me.
"Hi Riley, we've been waiting on you guys," Lona pulls me into a hug and I think Kiara too but my eyes are focused over their shoulders watching Blue untangle herself and then walk over towards us. She looks all happy and tussled and I'm so jealous it wasn't because of me but Skylar.
"Hey you," she says pulling me into a hug. My arms wrap around her on instinct like they were made to do just that even when all I want to do is ask what is going on with her and Skylar. She smells like fabric softener and I don't want the hug the stop, just like every time we hug. When we pull apart there's a certain look in her eyes that I'm sure is reflected in mine too. She pulls her gaze away from me to the person behind me and I remember I came with someone else. She looks at me again with an inquiring raised eyebrow.
"You said it was okay to bring a friend," I say sheepishly.
"You actually brought a friend," she says looking at Shae like she can't believe she's here. I just nod and look at her.
"Well go on and introduce us."
When I turn around Shae has already been monopolized by Kenji whom I hadn't even noticed was in the room.
"Riley has been holding out on us, " Kenji is saying to Shae before he shouts to me. "Riley, you never told us you had beautiful friends."
"She never told us she had any friends at all, "Skylar says from behind us.
"Shut up Sky," Blue shoots back but without any venom. "Hi, I'm Blue, welcome to my humble home," she adds. Like the friendly person she is, she takes Shae's hand and pulls her further into the room.
"Have you met everyone else? That's _"
"Blue honey, we already finished that part when you and Riley were doing whatever it is you two do," Ethan interrupts.
"You mean talking? What we do is called talking," Blue replies her eyes darting to me and then away just as fast. Somewhere someone(Kenji) clears their throat and Blue flips him off. I can see Shae trying to follow this conversation with a polite but puzzled smile on her face.
"Sit, let me get you some drinks." Then she turns to me and says, "Hey, a little help?" before walking away to the kitchen and expecting me to follow behind her. I'd follow this girl through a rose bush.
"So, a friend huh?" She's not looking at me as she speaks. She busies herself getting glasses and pouring what looks like champagne but I don't think it is although she could afford it I think but she's not the champagne type.

"Yeah, she's actually my roommate. You've met her before actually, that first night at the bar. "
"I wasn't paying much attention to anyone else that night," she turns and looks at me when she says that which sends the butterflies fluttering in my tummy. Our eyes catch and hold for a minute with unsaid things between us.
"Your friend, does she know?" I know what she's referring to so I shake my head no. It's kind of a small kitchen but it still takes me by surprise when suddenly she's right there in my space drinks forgotten.
"Babe, you know these guys can slip up at any point and say something your friend doesn't need to know."
I know she's saying something important but my brain is stuck on the "babe" and she's standing so close and looking at me so softly like that... This was usually the part where we'd maybe start kissing. My eyes drop to her soft lips and she bites her bottom lip between her teeth I'm sure just to torture me. I don't know if we are moving closer to each other or it's just in my mind.
"Babe?" I hear myself whisper.
"What?" I drag my eyes lazily from her  lips back to her eyes.
"You just called me babe."
"You can't be helped B," Skylar's unimpressed voice is like that splash of cold water that brings us back to our reality. Blue moves away from me and picks up the drinks while Skylar grabs an apple.
"Hi Skylar," I say because I'm a polite person unlike her.
Before she can say something bitter Blue comes over and hands me my drink and says, "Come, let's go. Sky, do you mind grabbing the popcorn? Thank you." We hear Skylar's grumbling because you can be sure she didn't  like having been asked. We look at each other and laugh.
"About time. I thought you guys drowned in the drinks or something," Lona says with  a knowing smirk on her face.
* * *
We are supposed to be watching Dead Pool but I don't think people are actually paying that much attention, they are mostly laughing and making noise. Blue's champagne like drinks turned out to be spiked Mountain Dew. I'm not much for drinking but there's just something in the air tonight. Blue keeps glaring at me and Isaac seated next to each other. Isaac is gleeful because that means his plan is working but I on the other hand feel very uncomfortable. Every time she looks at us which is often, I feel like the worst person ever, like a lier, a fraud. I don't even know what I'm doing, Am I trying to get her back or push her away forever? What kills me more is how even right now she's still taking care of me. She gets me a new drink even before I realize I'm running low, she's quick to defend me when the others are giving me shit for saying Ryan Gosling is the sexiest man alive and when I catch her staring at my exposed legs she looks away real fast, unsmiling but she still says, "let me get you a blanket." I can't tell if she's more mad at me or herself for inviting me. She's not the only one who seems unhappy. Every time Blue does something for me Skylar looks like she wants to throw something at her.
My mind is not even on the movie or the conversation around me anymore. I'm just watching Blue and hoping that she can somehow tell that this thing with Isaac is just a ruse and also just because I can't help it. My eyes are involuntarily drawn to her. She looks quite edible with her disheveled blue hair, comfortable sweatpants and a tank top that I just want to climb in her lap and stay there. She laughs at  something Kiara says but it's a laugh unlike her, something is holding her back and I have a feeling I have something to do with it. Maybe this was a bad idea.
I've been watching her all night so I notice when she slips out of the room to the balcony. I don't think anyone else notices since the lights are out and everyone is just having a good time. Shae has been monopolized by Kenji I don't think she even remembers she came with me. It's funny how I can't concentrate with her in the room and with her out of it too.  I keep watching the door and waiting for her to come back in but it's taking too long. "Just go to her," isaaac whispers in my ear. I really want to but I'm not sure. What if I'm the reason she needed a break in the first place. I stay in my seat and try to ignore Isaac's advice but the pull is too strong. A few seconds later I'm up on my feet and following her out. I'm a little wobbly on my feet because I've had like three glasses of soda punch. I slide the door open and close it softly behind me.
I'd never been out here before probably because we spent most of our time all over each other in bed but the balcony is surprisingly bigger than I thought it was. There's nothing out here except for these two brown rickety chairs that look quite uncomfortable.There's however a built in raised stoop, like a kitchen marble counter against one side of the wall where you can hop on and sit. That's where she's seated looking out at the city lights.
"You okay?" I ask, my feet paddling on the cold tiles. I wrap my blanket tightly around myself because it's really cold out here. She doesn't reply or turn to look at me so I walk and stand in front of her. She looks at me but doesn't say anything. She lifts her hand to my face caressing my cheek ever so lightly.
"I'm not okay Riley,"she says, her voice low and defeated.
"Me neither." And I mean it. I'm not okay, at all. I'm not okay without her. I miss her so much it's beginning to hurt physically too.
She removes her hand from my face and looks down at her hands. She looks lost, she doesn't look like the Blue I know, my Blue.
"I told a friend," blurt out into the silence. She raises her eyes back at me, interest creeping into her eyes.
"You did?"
"Yeah, I told my friend Lou."
"Hm, how did that go?" I can't read any emotion from her. The way she's asking these questions calmly and with no emotions at all, we could as well be talking about the weather.
"Good actually, better than I expected." Her blank face is making me uncomfortably shift my weight from one foot to another.
"Good. I'm glad it wasn't unpleasant for you." She says this so flatly it's almost cold that I'm thrown for a loop because I didn't think my news would be met with such disinterest. And it hurts. This is how she talks to Skylar.
"What?Thats it? I thought _"
"What did you think Riley?" Emotion is beginning to creep into her voice and it's anger but I can deal with anger any day, it's much better than indifference. She hops off from where she's been seated and crowds into my personal space. "That I would hug you and make you feel all good about it?"
"No, I don't know, I just_ I just thought _"
"I don't get it Riley, one moment you waltz in here on my brothers arm and the next you're telling me you came out to a friend. You are confusing me and I don't know what you want from me." I open my mouth to talk but she's still going on. "What is this Riley? Are you with Isaac now? Are you straight again?"
"Straight again? You know it don't work that way." I can see she's really mad but can we lighten up a bit.
"I don't appreciate your sass right now, " she says even though a small smile tags on the corner of her lips but only for a split second. "Are you dating my cousin? Why would you do that? If you decided to go back to lying to yourself, the least you could do is take it outside my family." Her voice is beginning to take on more hurt than anger now. "All I've ever done Riley is care about you, about your comfort, your happiness and I thought you'd do the same for me..." She's going on and on right in my face, her hands going through her hair in frustration, her chest is heaving angrily and unshed tears in her eyes and all I can think about is how much I love her. I'm not listening much anymore and I know I should be because she's talking about something that has been eating her up but all I can think about now is just kissing her. And that's exactly what I do.