Traveler's Requiem [Poetry]

An Illusion of Fools

For a second,
You had me,
Thinking I made a difference,
When it just couldn't be,
Unfortunately that's not,
My destiny.

I woke up,
Gone from that illusion,
And into the frying pan,
That bubble popping intrusion,
The idea that that I'll never make it,
Is simply my conclusion.

He says I'm lazy and can't do it,
Perhaps he's right,
It's true,
He says I cannot write,
And now I wonder,
Why I ever continue the fight.

To once think I was smart,
How could I be so dumb?
As if I could ever think I would have a chance when I'm surrounded by genius that I can't reach,
As if that would ever rescue me from my future glum,
Income would be something I'd never be able to pay,
Because of my wish to become an author as my outcome.

Yet is there any worth to the ridicule,
Subjected to the failure of my world?
I will never be as good as the rest,
And I'll never be some oyster that's pearled,
So why do I even hope to continue on,
When all my worth has unfurled?

I'm nothing,
I'm trash,
There's no creativity here,
All my ideas ever do is clash,
My life has been reduced to flame,
And all I can ever be is dirty ash.

All the hope and expectations on me,
Have been shattered with an illusion of a fool,
Who thought for a moment she had a chance,
To have a minuscule moment to rule,
But who could ever do that
In a world so callous and cruel?

Not me that's for sure,
For dreams this life was never nice,
I've been at it for 5 years now,
But to my passion has turned colder than ice,
Now that I've realized that I'll never make it,
Living on the shattered fragments of my joviality will have to suffice.

I've realized that none of this ever mattered,
Once I got over the fact that I'd been flattered,
I just feel battered,
Now that my illusion of fools has been shattered.