December 24th
Guess what happened,
It is almost lights out and the hospital is eerily quite, so it is the perfect time to reflect on the very eventful Christmas eve that I spent. As you already know, Dr. Carter came to see me and I so embarrassingly spat my tuna sandwich on his face. But he just politely wiped it off and asked me if I was okay. At this point it became just slightly awkward, but I have to say I handled the situation the best I could, considering I was lost for words after seeing his unexpected appearance.
I admit that I have a little crush on my doctor, okay maybe not a little crush, more like a head over heels type thing. I just know it's the hormones and the drugs that I am doped up on, it has to be.
All my schooling life, I was never so attracted to someone, at least not anything major (aside from that one massive crush that I had on my best friend at the time, but that is beside the point) and now all of a sudden just a few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I start feeling just slightly weird whenever he's around and it doesn't help that he is checking in on me every five minutes. It's like this knot in my stomach, wait that sounds painful, it's more like a, I just drank a gallon of milk and want to throw up type, feeling, but in the best way possible.
I constantly want to seek out his attention, even if that means I have to pretend to be sick or hold my breath for a really long time so that the machine thinks that I have heart palpitations and starts beeping. Oh and side note, that palpitations thing actually works.
Regardless, of all the stupid things that I have been doing within the past few hours, I just wish he weren't my doctor, that we hadn't met here and that I was already 18 years of age. I also wish that my moral compass would stop spinning for a while. I don't really know if it's a bad thing to have feelings for someone who is a few years older than you, it's not that bad, I guess. Also I have no idea how he is a doctor at the young ripe age of 22 but he is and I am forced to trust him with my life so...
Aside from my full blown obsession over Dr. Carter, I actually did other things amongst wishing that the head nurse, Laura would take her hands of him. I was really bored and today was the first day out of the few weeks I had been here that mum hadn't come to see me. I'm worried that something is wrong, but then again I do tend to overthink things.
After I had projectile vomited over Dr Carter I proceeded to clean myself up and then did something selfless for the first time in my life, and I mean really selfless. Not just donating money to your schools charity or participating in the St. Vinnies fundraiser. I did something that made me feel internally magnificent. I don't really know how to put it without writing an entire essay, but I guess I saved a life.
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December 25th
Guess what happened,
Sorry about last night, I had to stop writing because the nurse literally snatched my diary out of my hands as I refused to go to sleep. Oh and about me saving a life, I think I will leave that for another entry, just because I can't get Dr Carter off my mind.
So it is currently Christmas Day and I can't help but notice how fine Dr Carter is looking. He just has this extra presence about him today and I am just a few degrees away from having a full blown sweat. At the exact moment I began fantasizing about my doctor, he pulled open the ward curtains, hair blowing in the wind and eyes twinkling.
Okay it wasn't that dramatic but to me it was like the world was suddenly at peace and I wanted to be here for the rest of my life. I loved the atmosphere, the people, the way the nurses greeted you every morning and... Okay who am I kidding, all I loved was Dr Carter.
Anyway, so he walks in and I instantly zone out whilst blankly staring at his face thinking about "things" in my head when suddenly he shatters my dreams. Fortunately, he interrupted before things got too saucy, or else I would have just embarrassed myself.
"Oookay, Miss Daley I've got some good news for you" he said whilst awkwardly waiting for a response. I was too busy looking at his face that everything else was in soft focus and his posh British accent sounding impeccable as always.
"Miss Daley you're being discharged, today!" He chimed in again with a sense of excitement. Wait what. I wasn't prepared for this.
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Okay so it is the same day, but a while later; actually a few minutes before I get discharged.
My Christmas resolution is to use this "diary" more often. I know normal people don't have Christmas resolutions but when did you ever sign up for normal. I could ramble on for hours about why Christmas is the perfect time to set new goals and why new year is just too overwhelming so you never end up fulfilling those goals anyway. However, I have more pressing matters at hand.
I am actually leaving and I haven't had enough time to socialize and make new friends. I do realise it is a hospital not a party. Mainly I just can't comprehend the idea that I may never see Dr Carter again. He will move on with his life and I will move on with mine. End of story.
Meanwhile Dr Carter walks in to check my vitals; normally done by the nurse but I guess today was especially important. Being the weird person I am I ask him,
"are you sure I am fine, I mean just a couple of days ago I was fainting and vomiting blood, surely I can't be cured already. Right?" He looks at me slightly concerned but then smiles, like I've never seen him smile before. He finds this funny for some reason.
"Actually there is nothing to worry about Tamara. When you came here you were severely anemic, we just needed to get your iron levels up. Oh and the blood in your vomit happened to be food poisoning. I am 100% sure your absolutely healthy and can leave in precisely 10 minutes."
I ever so slightly began to panic and tried the palpitation trick, asking him to check my heart rate again. Trying to be polite, he slid the stethoscope up my gown and listened ever so carefully to my heartbeat. This feels strangely intimate for the both of us, even though he's probably done this a thousand times. He hesitates a bit and then repeats that I am fine, as he leaves the room slightly nervous and tense.
Just as he is about to shut the door to the ward he says in a calm and assertive way, "don't worry I will always be here TED."
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///I hope you like it so far. I would also like to mention that I have edited the previous chapters for mistakes or logical errors.///
If you are confused please just read through it again and I have edited it so that it will make more sense.] :) :) Thank You again if anyone is actually reading this.///
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The Diary Of A Chubby Girl
Teen Fiction"The day I was born, stars shot down to earth, planets fell out of alignment, the world stopped revolving and destiny ran for its life." My name is Tamara Eloise Daley but you can call me TED. I like to think that I had this impact on the world, bu...
