The Diary Of A Chubby Girl

Chapter 12 - We are Having a Picnic! (Tamara)

January 3rd

Guess what happened, 

So Levi showed up again today. Even Alex was a little surprised because his visits were usually weekly and sometimes even monthly. But for some reason he had decided that going to a hospital once a week to meet with your once girlfriend / victim / now best friend / complicated potential life partner wasn't enough. So here I am, madly writing about this guy I met yesterday who is your stereotypical guy with tattoos, kinda greasy long-ish black hair, a naturally smouldering face and a lean yet athletic body. 

I'm just surprised he isn't wearing a leather jacket. Oh and did I mention his name was Levi. 

That's enough about him. On the subject of Dr Carter, I still am not over him. I can't stop thinking about what he'd be doing, being all dreamy yet at the same time saving lives. Just as the thought of Dr Carter pops into my head, almost on cue, Levi slides open my curtains his face glowing with excitement. 

"Get up!" He exclaims.

"Wh-why am I being forced out of my bed?" I replied. I wasn't interested right now. But still his sudden abrupt desire to pull open my curtains had peaked my curiosity.

"The weather is nice today." He said.

"And..."

"And that means Ms Daley we are having a picnic! You know, where you sit outside and enjoy some vitamin D." He said smiling from ear to ear. It was contagious. I couldn't help but shoot a smile back.

I think he expected a reply so he kept going, "Come on, you haven't had non-hospital air in ages it will be fun and good for your lungs. I'm not a doctor, but I'm just saying."

At this point he was pleading so I said, "Fine. But where do you propose we set up this picnic?"

He pointed out the window, to a small patch of grass just between ward 1 and 2. It's not like this was a date. Alex was going to be there. 

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We patted the grass as we sat down for this impromptu picnic. 

"Where's Alex?" I asked.

"Oh- Uh. Were you under the impression she was going to be here?"

Hello! Um Yes! I've known you for like a day, I'm not just going to agree to have a picnic with you, especially knowing what I know about you. Duh. I thought this stuff was self-explanatory. 

That's what I was thinking, but what I said was completely different, "Uh- no sorry, actually I just wasn't sure why you'd want to have a picnic with me." What was I thinking?

"Well, since you ask, for starters you're really beautiful and actually I didn't want this to be awkward so I tried to be casual about it. Contrary to popular belief not all guys with tattoos and long-ish black hair know how to manoeuvre their way through conversations and woo girls." 

Did he just read my mind? He's attractive. He's the forbidden one. He's charming and sexy. And now he can read minds. My mind was blown. Hopefully he didn't catch that one. 

"Woo girls? What is this, the 1800s?" I laughed. 

"See," he said whilst running his hand through his hair and resting it on the back of his neck. 

Someone please lift my jaw back off the floor.

"Anyway," he continued, "since you mentioned Alex, she's kinda mad at me and I don't really know why. I don't know how much she's told you about us but we were going solid for the past year or so and I don't why she suddenly has gone off me again." 

I don't know, could it have anything to do with the fact that she might have thought you had changed but realised you clearly haven't since your trying to 'woo' her current best friend. I don't know it's just a hunch.

"I honestly have no idea why she's mad at you. I guess it's just the extra meds they've been giving her after the stunt she tried to pull on Christmas Eve." I replied, trying to conceal my thoughts.

"I guess," he said. There was a moment of silence, but it wasn't awkward this time. There was this tension, this chemistry that was nearly tangible. We were locked in this gaze, for what seemed like years. It's like suddenly my perception of Levi had shifted. He seemed like this sweet guy who was nervous and wanted to impress me more than any guy had ever before (which may I add is not a hard feat, since no guy has ever tried to impress me).

The scary thing was that at the back of my head I had this recurring doubt based on what Alex had told me about him. What if he just knew all the right things to say? What if this palpable tension was merely an illusion that hung like a sword above my neck? It felt like he was in control of the rope that held the sword and at any time he could cut it, only to slash my neck and leave me bleeding out.

Was this it? Falling in love? The vulnerability of falling into the unknown and exposing yourself to the sword. 

Surely it couldn't be. Not yet and not him. Right?