2,000 Lives -Mavin fanfic-

Chapter 5

(Gavin's POV)

As I sat criss-crossed on my bed, I lightly spun the quill in my fingers back and forth. On the first page of my journal there were multiple lines drawn and then crossed out representing the number of my deaths. On the second page I had stopped with the single countings and had started with the number 991. That was crossed out and then re-written as 992. It kept going like this until the most resent number of deaths, 1,580.

A couple pages past where that number was, was where my diary began. Seven weeks earlier was about the time I had began writing, also about the time I started thinking that I had a gay crush on Michael. It wasn't a coincidence of course. The idea of it still caused my head wrinkles to tighten because I knew I had to face the truth and possibly do something about it. I had tried not to only write about him in my book, but I often found myself wanting to speak of the things that couldn't be said in an every day conversation.

"I don't think Michael likes me," I wrote. "The other day I brought up Mavin (that's what the audience calls us) and I swear I saw him cringing at the idea. It's really starting to make me feel ashamed about it. It's been feeling more and more like it has to be true ever since I started writing about it, and now I think I have to make a move. I feel like I need to tell someone. But of course I won't... I don't think. That wouldn't be a good idea. But sometimes I really think I could just tell Michael anything and he wouldn't care. Like maybe, just maybe, he doesn't love Lindsay and he would want to be with me forever. God I'm fucking stupid. Sometimes I really just hate myself for the things I think. Anyway, bye."

I felt my forehead tensing again as I finished and wrote the date above my entry. I knew looking back on it I would remember it as the entry on the day that something big happened. Probably something bad. I had been good with secrets for so long, but just this once I really didn't want to have the feeling of hiding things from people.

I put my book away, got up, and got dressed. Michael was still on my mind by the time I walked out the door. Ryan was setting down a torch in the ground to my right.

"Hello!" He called out as he spotted me and slowly stood up.

"Hey Ryan. Any sign of Ray?"

"Heh. Nope, not really." He paused like he wanted to say more, but didn't.

"Oh."

He went back to putting the torch in the ground and I looked over Achievement City. My stomach rumbled and reminded me to grab something to eat, but I only had one piece of bread left and the emeralds Michael had given me were nearly used up.

I walked over to his house which was practically right in front of me as casually as I could. Every step felt wobbly and I had to fight the urge to collapse. I knocked on the door and eyed back to Ryan, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to me.

It only took a few seconds for Michael to open the door slowly and lazily. He was dressed but he looked tired. "Hey Gav," he said as he wiped something off of his chin with his hand.

"Heyo my boi! Do you want to do something today?"

"Today? But we already had our Saturday adventure."

"Well ya I know... but there's no such thing as too much time with you!" That came out wrong. I meant to say something like "there's no such thing as too much time on an adventure!" I noticed my own words becoming hard to control.

"I guess we could... but let's make it calm."

"Oh. I was thinking we could go to the Nether Achievement City! I quite like it there you know. It's like home but it looks so awesome and It's nice to be alone-"