HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (Completed)

How I (part 7)

I don't want to bore you guys so I am going to cut this part short where I skip to the part where I finally had a break through.

However, as a summary though, having moved a lot I never really had that much life lessons from grandma, I learned all that I know by myself and with the help of God.

I had to grow up at an early age, I practically didn't have a mom or a dad. My mom is the kind of person you have to talk to in the way you would with a child, a careless spender and someone who cares about no one but herself. I practically had to watch what she does so that she wouldn't drive her life off the cliff, she has no clue about life.

Someone who wouldn't open up to you about their past, someone that didn't have any faith in men and someone that didn't believe in herself.

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There was nothing that I could've learned from her that would make me the person that I am today. So I took matters in my own hands, I was a curious child and still am.

However what is really important for you guys to know is that I had a deep feeling inside that I was more than who I think I was.

That faint feeling that grew over time, that made me believe that there was something that i needed to find out, and this was what kept me alive.

That feeling grew stronger when I finally hit my breaking point with my mom, this was what made me draw closer to God.

It pays to be curious y'all, it also pays to say enough is enough, I can't stress that enough. This situation that I will be sharing with you guys in the next chapter will seem unbelievable but I will go into details so that it could be even the least bit believable.

Anyways, it made me draw closer to God. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself, constantly giving in to who she was/ is where I argued with her to change, she got worst the more I argued with her.

I turned to talking to the Lord everyday about how I felt. I asked him to give me the strength to cope, the strength to listen to him, the strength to allow him into my life in all his entirety, and that he did.

You know why? You need to surrender to everything that you held upon yourself. Surrender to it all, stop thinking that you can do everything by yourself, stop thinking that nothing is going to change.

The more I thought nothing was going to change, the more it led me closer to my death. I thank him everyday for giving me the opportunity to live, to live for him, to live to do his work. I thank him for giving me the chance to write this book, yall don't even know how happy it makes me to just sit here and type, knowing that it would help if not all then one person.

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Thank you for reading, don't forget to love yourself.