HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (Completed)

How I (my sociopath) part 2

I want to paint a picture in your minds before I proceed to carry on. Let's say there is a circle, a circle that forms bit by bit, into it's complete 360 in accordance to when "uncertainty" becomes "like" and when "like" becomes potentially, "love". This will be important for when I explain specific things.

Now we are at the stage where I can say I really "liked" this guy. I mean, he didn't look like a complete fuck boy, he appeared to be quiet normal. He was humbly dressed, his pants was practically at his waste, jackpot. Now see, I can openly say I am a narcissistic individual or just plain narcissist, but back then in this moment written before your eyes. I was very much confused, and unaware.

The fact that I now know why I acted a certain way during certain stages of this relationship, I am able to place it directly where it should be in this book. Which explains the tone in the previous chapter, giving the impression that manipulation was my plan from the get- go. Even though, indirectly it was, I just didn't know it was legitimately scripted as a proven norm.

When I found out what he was, that was when I found out what I was, a narcissist as well as an empath. If you read the definition of each, it completely or slightly contradicts in definition.

We will come back to that soon anyways. I wasn't all for a relationship at all, at first. I felt I saw way too much of people's intentions, or heard or felt too much of them, when they were only talking about the edges and not the centre. Which was what I had a clear view of.

Now on to what A was like, he didn't want to force a relationship onto me. From my memory I think we were on the same page, don't quote me on it. Quiet soon after, we made it official. At this point I swore I met my soul mate because in its simplest expression, how could someone be this perfect?

The conversations were so smooth and it was almost like we have met before, in another life or something. It had to have been, my mind thought back then.

This is why it is so very important for you to trust your gut. It never lies, you need to get so close and in tune with it that you do it subconsciously. Let me tell you, he seemed too good to be true. However, the intensity of that apparent soul mate bond due to his accurate mirroring of what I showed him I needed in a man. Did not allow that gut feeling to connect with me for long. Do not share what you want in a man, TO another man.

So again, I was still adamant on staying. Time went by and I noticed how cocky he was, other times he had always made it so obvious that he was trying to impress me. Maybe it was just obvious to me, on other occasions he would often use big words. Most of all, he was just so focused and dedicated to me as a person and as a unique individual. It was all the more apparent that I wasn't leaving, giving that he gave me all that attention.

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Thank you for reading. Love yourself.