Everything That Could Have Been

Audrey

Audrey

            I woke up in a cold place, the air was stale, I didn’t feel cheery, I usually wake up smiling because I appreciated the life God has given me but not today. I looked around, trying to make a connection. Could be Rynneshire Street, the one leading to errr… I racked my head for the name. Cheyenne? Cheyenne’s house? My hair’s a mess and my head is throbbing. I place my hand on my forehead, it was cold to touch. Something’s wrong. I take a shot at remembering what might have happened. I get blurry images of orange and pink, broken dialogues and a loud crashing sound. I tried standing up, but my feet were numb. I don’t get it, my whole body is cold. My hand touched something wet, and there’s a strong smell of iron in the air. I brought my hand into view. Blood. That’s all I saw. That’s when I realized my head was bleeding, or it had been, it’s mostly dried now but there’s still some blood running down the side of my face. Bruises, on under my shirt, on the side of my stomach, another one around my left cheekbone, there are a few which trail down my legs along with a few scratches and grazes. My eyes are sore. Had I been crying? My whole body ached but I forced myself up and started walking to my house. I don’t think I can sit through any classes today, I’m beat.

 I see a boy walking towards me, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking straight ahead. He goes to my school, Chadworth? No, Charles? Charlie. Charlie, yeah that’s his name. Maybe I can get some answers. 

            “Hey Charlie!” I waved but he didn’t see me. He kept walking, he was getting closer and closer, his eyes were on his cell phone. I called out to him again but he didn’t answer.

            “Charlie!” I called out yet again. I ran up to him, and then the most horrifying thing happened. He passed right through me. He turned back as if he heard me, but he shook his head and started walking. My mind started racing. That explains it. The blood, the injuries, the freezing body temperature. I was dead.

            I started running. Everything started coming back. My plans for the future, the Geography project, Kaelan, Saffron, the beach, the pool party, Cheyenne, Dedrick, the car. I’m dead. Yet, I’m still here, there has to be a reason.

~

            I kept running, I passed many people, none of them acknowledged my presence. When I opened my eyes, I was at the beach. There were people, mostly kids. I can’t even remember what day it is. How many days has it been since I died? I was standing beside a little girl. She’s scooping sand into a bucket. She doesn’t notice me. So this is how it feels like to be ignored, except this time, I’m going to be ignored forever. Actually, until I can pass on or ‘find the truth’. I remembered something mommy told me after my aunt passed away. “Did you know if someone died without accomplishing what they had set out to do, they’d remain here, till they have done so?” But I don’t know what I had set out to do; I don’t know what I want to do. I wanted to be happy, and I was, until I found out that is, but my life was comfortable, I was happy. So what can I possibly here for? It’s like why some people die with their eyes open. Mommy told me it was because they died a sudden death, or because it was brutal. Sometimes because they suffered trauma, or because they have some ‘unfinished business’.

            I was hit by a car. I was crying. Is that considered brutal?

            There were so many questions, yet, I can’t find any answers.

            I blew at the little girl’s face, her jet black hair was covering her eyes. Her hair doesn’t move, but she rubs her arms. “It’s cold, but the sun’s out”. She goes back to scooping sand into her bucket. No one can see me, maybe there will be someone who will, someone who misses me, someone who hasn’t moved on yet.