Thoughts and Other Things

Nighttime

My thoughts are probably the most dangerous thing there is to me. Yes, they're usually just happy, and imaginative, but it's when the lights go out that my mind finds a place in the dark. Night is when the insecurities wrap themselves around my brain and take over any sense I once had. My thoughts wander to wondering why people are friends with me and why I even have people that like me for me. My mind comes up with all these self deprecating things, and I try to stop it, but my mind is powerful. It knows its place, and it knows how easily it can destroy me.

I always tell people my favorite lyrics are "sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind," and they think I like them because they're deep. They have no idea that I love the lyrics so much because they remind me that I've got to shut down all those self depreciating thoughts. All the insecurities and self hate needs to die. I could try and try again to make them go away, but I seem to let them stay. Maybe it's because I believe the words, or it's because the words are actually true.