I cant hear you... But I wish I could

Chapter Twenty-Seven (27)

Owens p.o.v

I rolled in my bed, switching positions, trying to find that familiar sent that belonged to someone I know, and well... Love.

Tyler Williams.

Taking a big whiff of my blankets, I uncovered myself, trugging to the bathroom.

Showering, brushing my teeth, doing my hair, anything I need to do to get me ready for purgatory.

When finished, I walked down the stairs, eyes on each one. Just to make sure I dont fall, and kill myself.

I walked right past the kitchen, and went to the front steps; sitting, with my head propped on my hands. Watching some cars drive by the front yard, like Ive been doing for the past two mornings.

The sky was a medium dark blue, it only being morning, and I could see one star standing out from the sky.

I looked back, slowly when I felt someone touch my shoulder, and it turned out to be my mom.

'You need a ride honey? Are you hungry?' she signed to me, looking all professional,

I shook my head, Tyler will be here soon, right after my mom leaves and my butterflies fill me up.. 

Starring off into the distance I waited.

Waited.

Waited, and waited.

When rain started to fall, I checked the time. It was eleven forty-five.

Are you serious, I jumped up and started to walk to school. This sucks.

It started raining half way there, so now I was wet... Walking up the school doors.

Nearly falling, when my foot stepped place on the tiles, I clung onto the wall. Deciding to go see if Tyler was here today, he usually always would; even though I cant depend on him for everything, he could be sick. Oh my gosh. He could be sick and Im blaming him.

I stopped dead in my tracks, when I looked down the hall his locker is usually at. My heart cracked.

I guess I could of seen this coming, he was straight before he meet me right?

My vision went blurry as tears threatened to fall in my eyes; the sight was just horrible. Tyler stood there, with Joe. Yah ok, but cling to his arm, and an arm around her waist was a girl, a blond slut, looking girl. My eyes locked with Joes, and he smirked, turning back to Tyler and the girl talking and pointing between both of them.

I forced my legs to move, but they wouldnt. Tyler glanced back, causing the blond girl to do also. His eyes starred at me; she flipped me off and pushed her lips onto Tylers, who didnt do anything to stop her.

I backed up and fell right on my ass. Crying so hard. Crawling away, I ran to the front door. Opening it, and running into the driving zone, putting my hands on the hood of a car as it almost hit me.

Tears just fell down my face and I started to heave. I feel like I have to puke, but I have nothing to puke. Arms wrapped around my shoulders, I turned and hugged whoever it was. I started to shake, and I couldnt breath properly.

I... I thought he liked me.

My chin was lifted up and I was now staring into Bens eyes, he wiped my cheeks of the tears and lead me into the passenger door.

'Are you Ok?' he signed when he was in the drivers seat, shaking his hair a bit.

I shook my head, Ill never be OK.

I opened up to the person I thought cared about me, and he doesnt. He doesnt care. Ill never speak, or express myself to anybody else.

Im broken.

'Were are you hurt?' he signed worriedly.

But the thing is it wasnt the car that had me hurt, it was Tyler.

I pointed at my heart, a whole new round of cries broke out. God, why did this have to happen to me. Throwing my hands to my face, I hid myself. I dont want to be seen, I dont want to be known; I want to die.

Looking over at Ben when he poked my arm, he pointed to the house. Opening the door, I closed it and walked to my front steps, where I was waiting for Tyler this morning, my knees weakened at I cried on the steps. I dont care if I get hurt or sick from the rain.

This pain was already unbearable.

I got lifted, and Ben magically got the key, unlocking the door. I was shaking in his hands, crying on his shoulder, getting his shirt all wet.

He found my room and placed me on the bed. Curling up in a ball, I cried everything out of me. I want to be invisible. 

[OMG. This is so depressing to write]

Ben stayed with me, rubbing my back. He would ask what had happened, and I told him. His face expression changed instantly, he tensed, and had this look of wanting to kill in his face.

"Wait, dont, dont do anything" I pleaded, as he got up.

He frowned at me, I pulled him onto the bed wanting to be comforted, he rubbed my back as I cried into his chest. He stopped, when his phone would vibrate, and he would text back. Then rub my back.

Even though he wasnt Tyler. He will do.

Sooner than later, I drifted off into a painful sleep. I didnt want to go. Get reminded with memories I thought would last forever.

I woke up cold, and empty.

The day replaying in my head. Tyler kissing a girl, in front of me.

Flaunting it all over.

Tears, silently left my eyes. I hate my life. I hate it, so much.

Clutching my stomach, I dry heaved and ran to the bathroom, feeling bile rise in my throat. I pulled up the toilet lid and emptied whatever I had in my stomach in there. But I wouldnt stop. So I laid myself on the floor in a tight little ball.

The floor, was soft and warm. Opening my eyes I was in my room. My cheeks wet, as well as my pillow case--which was more drenched.. But same difference.

My bedroom door busted open, making me jump. Tamarah and Jackie ran in and jumped on me. Killing me with their deaths hugs I was receiving. While showering me with kisses. Only making me cry harder. Holding myself. They gave me my message board with Tamarahs writing on it.

I have something for you.

My mind raced, what could it be. She held out her hand with a box in it. And I noticed the wrapping, that was the anniversary present for Tyler. I carefully took it cradling it in my hands.

Im sorry.

Was the next thing wrote on the board. And they both kissed my on the cheek, got up then left. Angrily, I wiped the tears out of my eyes; and opened the box. Throwing it across the room, and walking to the bathroom.

Determined to make the pain go away.

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Enjoy ~!