I cant hear you... But I wish I could

Chapter Thirty-Eight (38)

Tylers p.o.v

Owen came in and out. He would sleep, then wake up wide eye'd and almost in tears.

The dark circles still loomed under his eyes, and the casts still covered his body.

Today was going to be a tiring day for him, everybody has been flooding his phone with texts, asking him were he was, if he was OK, and why he hasnt been at school.

But I didnt get why, until, like not that long ago. Owen went by himself, to the bathroom and told nobody. And thats when Sean came and hurt my Owen.

I laced our fingers together.

Anyways, everybody is coming to visit him today.

Ben even texted him, and he was on his early vacation; the thing him and his family did almost every year; but he said his parents are flying him back early--and only him to see Owen.

My Owen, and Im jealous, Ive never really been jealous. And Ben, was making me jealous! The way he looked at Owen, like he loved him, even if it was brotherly love. It bugged me Owen kissed him on the cheek, it bugged me that he always hugged Owen.

It bugged me, that it was Owen was the one who kissed Ben on the cheek. What if he likes Ben and not me, I dont think I could handle that. Even though I did much worse to him, still. It would hurt. I think I might just kill myself.

His phone vibrated in my hand, his mom said he never saw him with his phone anymore, so thats why she let me borrow it, until I go get a new one.

Tamarah: 'We're all here in the lobby. Ben coming later'

I sat nervously by the bed, unlacing Owens had from mine, he started to stir, holding onto my index finger lightly, I noticed his fingers would never close all the way over mine, but the doctors told me that he wouldnt be the same--which I new.

They said that he will be in shock, he will be traumatized, that he probably wont like getting touched in any way, and that hes showing great signs of recovery, but their stumped about how he recovered so fast. They said he was supposed to be out for another couple days, maybe even a week.

The door opened, and I pulled back, my hand now on my lap and Owens eyes snapped open looking at me, then watering a bit.

"Sorry" I whispered, and let him grab my finger again.

"Owen!" They all gasped at once, and his head snapped toward them.They all ignored my presence and rushed to Owen. Making me once again move my hand away from his. I stood up, and blew him a little kiss before walking out of the room, leaving them all able to see, and talk to Owen.

Owens p.o.v

I was having a nightmare, I always have nightmares. No matter what, the events would rush into my head.

But I never cried, maybe it was because I knew Tyler would be holding my hand, even though I never technically held his back.

He understood, he wouldnt try and kiss me. Some times he would on my head, but I ended up scrunching my eyes closed. Hoping it would end, but then praying that it wouldnt.

It hurt him... To see me like this, for him not being able to kiss me.

I wanted to so bad. And I wanted him to know that, I want him to kiss me, and I want me to hold his hand tightly.

But I dont know why I cant. I dont know why,

My eyes were resting, and a slight coolness came over my hand; he told me today that the others were coming to see me, so that might be the reason. But I dont care if they dont like him, they can learn how to forgive him, this was all a mistake. I dont think they should of ditched him for me, but they did. And it made me feel welcome, and good.

The warmness in my palm didnt leave when I held his finger. Babish, I know, but... I didnt want him to let go. He never did before, why now?

I heard the door open, and my name being called many times, which made my ears ring. To loud.

My eyes were now open, I totally forgot about them all.

Call me a bad friend, Ill bite you.

They all had shocked faces in, I know I looked bad, but really?

Everybody crowded around the bed, careful to not bump into anything; I couldnt see Tyler, and I noticed his finger wasnt in my semi closed hand no more.

I honestly wanted to cry. I wanted his hand in mine. It made me feel whole, it made me feel normal.

Everybody said 'Hi' after one another. I could hear the pity and sadness in their voices, but they were all perfect. I never heard my voice before.. I wonder how I sounded,

I zoned out almost the whole time they were here, like I said before... I think, I didnt really want anybody around, I felt kind of scared, but some where I felt relieved I just couldnt bring it up, it was buried deep down in my heart, with trust and other feelings that I had that I didnt want to show. That I didnt trust others with.... Yet.

About an hour maybe even later. I got hugs, I didnt really want, and kisses, I didnt want either. But the guys seemed to understand and just waved walking out.

I noticed I was slightly shaking, and when Tyler came in, I took a breath in, then let it out. He hurried over to me, and grabbed my hand. Rubbing it with his thumb lightly.

"I didnt mean to leave, I just thought that you wanted to be alone with them" he smiled lightly, and kissed my hand. Making me flinch. "Sorry" he apologized, I nodded and tried to smile..

But I couldnt bring myself to do it.

I opened my mouth, wanting to tell him. But, I just breathed out breaths. Like my brain wasnt working, or I just wasnt letting myself talk.

I miss you.

I told him in my head.

I released my hand from his... Waiting a second, then pointed to my lips, then forehead. Kiss me.

Is what I meant.

Tylers p.o.v

I held his hand as he shook, I know they must have touched him. Because thats what he does.

I then watched him point to his chaped lips then to his forehead.

Raising a brow, I knew what he meant but... But, I dont think I should, because of the ways he reacts, I wanted to, hell I would die to. But I just dont want me to kiss his forehead, then have him not talk to me or go into shock.

Looking at him, his eyes glistened, and his red lips pouted. I sadly smiled, they were so chapped.

Reaching out, I saw him wince. At least he didnt flinch though... I brushed his lips with my hand, then caressed his cheek. He wouldnt let me do it so much, so I was savouring the moment, then standing up slowly. He nodded his head and I descended my lips to his forehead. And I saw a single tear roll down his cheek, running beside my finger.

Then kissing his wet cheek, which only got wetter. I didnt mean for him to cry, so I quickly pulled away. "Im sorry" I apologized,

Causing him to shake his head, and whimper a bit. He reached out and grabbed my hand pulling it back to his cheek. Whimpering what sounded like a 'No' or maybe it was just my imagination.

So I kept it there, slowly sitting down. Watching as he fell asleep in my hand, the only support for him there.

My eyes were about to close, just like his, until I heard the door open and foots walking in.

Showing a Ben, who looked pained, some what angered, then relieved.
____________________________________________________________________________

Enjoy ~!