I cant hear you... But I wish I could

Chapter Thirty-Two (32)

Owens p.o.v

Its been four days.

Four days since I dyed my hair and, four days since Ben went on an early vacation.

Oh, and four days since I had become the stereo-typical 'emo'.

School has gotten worse... I have Sean and Jared constantly pushing me down, and into lockers. Jared was more of the teaser, and Sean was the abuser, that show they got along best I guess; Jared has still been touching me. Hes been trying to today, trying to get me in the bathrooms and locker rooms. But I have only been in the bathroom and I didnt get caught... Well yet.

Unlike yesterday, he caught me in the bathroom.

Im to shaken up, even to see him--but that was yesterday, today my mom let me stay home until lunch. She sent me back to bed saying that I looked to tired and needed rest. But I didnt go back to bed, instead I went to the bathroom and started to cut myself some more,

I feel like Im out of control, and I changed completely, with my hair--dying it, wearing baggier clothes than I used to, I got unbelievably skinny in just four days from not eating, and Im pretty pale.

My arm right now had five large cuts, three trying to scab over, but not being able to because I end up picking off the scabs in the school washrooms re-opening them, and now Im giving myself two more new ones. So now I have seven.

Blood eased out of my wrist, not to much, but not to little. My mom said she would drop me off at school, so I had to hurry, I couldnt wait and watch the blood dribble onto a random surface.

Wrapping my wrist, I pulled the sleeve down covering up everything. I stood and placed the razor securely into my palm, closing it and walking to my room; grabbing my bag I walked down the stairs, my mom frowned when she saw me, then smiled at me, pushing a plate toward me.

I just starred at it, I didnt want anything. It just seemed so unpleasing. So I shook my head and pushed it away 'I just want to get to school' I signed to her.

Watching her sigh and get up, we headed to the car and she drove me to school.

Smiling thankfully I got out, closing the door and walking up the steps, waving to my mom as she drove off.

The first person I saw when I walked into the school was Tyler.

And Shannon.

Who sent me a dirty glare, then attached her lips to Tylers, pulling him into a tongue tied kiss. I grabbed onto my arm, digging my nails into were the cuts would be. Pain flamed my blood and I just walked away.

I put everything in my locker and went to the second last class of the day; I hung around the bathroom for lunch. Locking myself in a stall.

I didnt do anything actually. I just wanted to think.

And once the time hit 12 55 I got up and got the books for classes.

And let me tell you... It was boring.

Classes were over, and I spotted Sean and Jared a couple times, but I stayed low. Blending in with the crowds, I wasnt going to go try and find the twins or the girls, it would just waste time, and that would be risking running into Tyler, and honestly. I just cant take it anymore, it hurts to much to see him with somebody else, holding them how he used to hold me.

Kiss me like he used to kiss me, so sweetly, passionately, meaningfully.

I pursed my lips, nibbling on them a bit to keep me from crying. I glanced down the hall in both directions before scurrying to my locker, opening it, before closing it once again.