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" i j u s t w a n t y o u t o s e t m e f r e e "
-Billie Eillish
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Ever feel like you're completely alone in this world? As if the faces you pass each day doesn't matter, or that they'll never feel or understand your pain?
Are there ever moments in your life where you're completely fine, but, not fine? That you are breathing, living, and walking, yet, you feel a empty void within you?
Do you ever feel like you're running towards the light unsuccessfully like I do?
Just how long til' the pain ends my suffering? Just how long til' the empty void swallows me whole? Just how long til' I get lost in the darkness for good?
The simple answer is that we'll never know...
They say that, "life is too short, so enjoy everyday as if it's your last," but really, can today be my last? Because I'm over it. Done. Period.
I woke up on the cold, hard floor of our dining room, sticky with the tears on my right cheek.
As I slowly got up, my abdomen is erupted with a scorching pain, and my skinny arms immediately went to hug my frail body.
I slowly crept my way to the hallway, past his room and slid into my room without making a sound. 2 weeks into this new house and I've made up every creek that could potentially wake up Dan.
Although he is my father, I am only allowed to call him by his first name- Dan.
Sitting in front of my makeshift vanity, I stare empty into the reflection, my hand slowly grazing my eyes. Then my nose. Then my lips.
Do I look like her? Curiosity filled my thoughts.
What was she like?
No. Who cares?
She left me! Then rage. I felt like I was on fire.
For 17 years, I didn't know my mother. I don't know what she's like. What she looked like. If she's alive. Or why she left me with him. I only knew that her name was MaryAnn.
The only thing I know is that I'm beat because of her. Whatever she did was enough for me to take the fall. Literally....
Quickly cleaning up, I slowly changed into an over side grey hoodie and some leggings before making my way to the kitchen for breakfast.
Every morning, I must make Dan his breakfast. A different breakfast for everyday. If there are repeats, can you guess it?
Yep. A beating.
Yesterday was pancakes, bacon, and fruits. Today will be toast, scrambled eggs, and a yogurt parfait- Dan's favorite.
Just as I finished setting up his plate, I quickly snuck a few strawberries into a ziplock bag, tossing it into my school bag.
I could hear his heavy footsteps and the creaking of the floorboards, getting louder and louder as he heads into the kitchen, a bottle of tequila in hand.
I stand off to the side, waiting for him to eat before I can head out for school.
The wooden chair scrapes the floorboards as he plops down onto the chair, scarfing down his first bite.
"Claudia!" His voice pieced the silent room and I raise my head in fear, forcing a small 'yes' out.
"You only gave me two slices of toast you fucker!" He grunts, staring at me with raging eyes.
"I-I'm sorry! That's all we've got. I'll stop by Mario's Market after school." The grip on my bag tightened, and I feared what he'd do next.
"Fuck off!" And before I could blink, the empty tequila bottle flies across the room, landing just about a feet away from my head, shattering into pieces from the wall contact.
Without thinking, I run out of the house, tears streaming down my face as I run to the bus stop, but just my luck, I see the big yellow transportation speed past the bus stop, me being a block away.
I stop in my tracks, throwing myself onto the side of the curb, feeling hopeless. Today was my first day of Senior year, and I've missed the bus.
Last year was my last year at Bernie High, due to my absences. I've practically got kicked out of Bernie High, but not for that reason..... Dan had gotten so drunk one night, that he almost beat the life out of me. I was hospitalized for weeks, and he didn't report it to my school. When they called, he was simply drunk and passed out at home.
That was my last warning from Bernie's principal. The previous absences were also because I was physically unable to go there.... Also from Dan's beatings.
When I realized it, I've made it my new school. I wasn't excited. It's all the same. All year, every year.
I will obtain bruises and people will question me. Look at me weird. And then suddenly, I'm the weird outcast.
It will be the same thing again this year. Just at Weston High School.
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Hiya! Not sure if anyone is reading anymore, but I will try to really finish this book again!
Someone hold me accountable if I don't finish this forreal, LOL>.<
Hopefully everyone is doing okay though! I will see you guys next chapter:)
-Xoxo, Sandra🌙
YOU ARE READING
Fragile (UNDER REVISIONS)
Fiksi Remaja"How can you love someone so-so broken?" My voice cracked as I looked up at Kaleb. Kaleb pins me to the wall, as a whimper escapes my mouth. "Who says I can't?" He raises his brows with a smirk painted onto his face. Suddenly, Kaleb grabs my face...
