The Blue Door (Van McCann Fanfiction)

Van: The Terms

When Brynn and I started this streak of casual sex, we both have agreed that we would only do it only if it's fun for the both of us, with no emotions attached - I've never talked about her in front of the lads, other than Larry just because he needed to know every single detail of my life. I was beginning to think that me mom paid him to look out for me or something. Brynn never met any of the lads nor I had actually talked to any of her friends. I only knew their names because they were also her roommates - I may have bumped into them once in a while when I was over at their apartment. Well, they only acknowledged me as the lad who creeped into Brynn's room at night or in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon. That was rule number one: We agreed not to be introduced to friends or family.

Brynn seemed to be great at being casual, which was great for me because the only thing I wanted was to focus on getting our album out. Having a girlfriend would be rather distracting and I'd hate that. My previous relationships didn't work out due to some reasons - time difference was one thing, but girls could never understand what I do. The lads would whined every time I was in an off mood whenever I had an argument with a girl, so that threw me off. Girls would expect me to come home whenever they needed me to, but in reality, it was not that simple. I had to follow a strict schedule that was set my band's manager every single day. Trying to put out an album would mean that I needed to be in it a hundred percent, with no distractions.

"What happens if she starts to see somebody else?" Larry once asked.

"Like dating?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's simple. We just don't get mad." Now that's rule number two: We agreed not to be mad if either one of us decided to go out with somebody else.

"Brynn is not my girlfriend, mate. She's free to go out with whoever she likes. And the same goes to me. As long as we are not seriously involved with anyone."

The last bit was rule number three: We will stop the sex when either one of us starts to get involve in a serious relationship. Cheating on each other's partners would be wrong and I'd hate getting killed because of that.

"That's a load of crap, mate. You'll be falling in love with each other in no time and things will get messy," Larry insisted.

Well, I begged to differ.

We went to Brynn's favorite bar that evening - the same bar we met called Bizarre. My band had just finished recording our album in the studios and I thought of having a little celebration with Brynn, mainly because she was the only person who I had forced to listen to my music, whether she liked it or not.

"What do you think of this as the artwork?" I asked, showing her a sketch of a boy and a girl having one of their hands down in each others' pants. I just thought it was funny. And memorable.

"Has anyone told you that you're disgusting?" Brynn shot a glance at me.

"A lot of times, actually," I bursted out laughing. "Come on! What do you reckon?"

"Go ahead if it pleases you," she nonchalantly answered.

"I mean come on, does this not remind you of us?" I nudged her.

"Are you out of your mind? My boobs is better looking than that!" Brynn laughed through her nose. "And why the hell would I wear a matching, ugly t-shirt like the one you're wearing?"

"Fair point. I really think your boobs look like that to be honest. It's cute."

"Shut the fuck up, McCann!" She smacked my arm. "Your drawing is honestly the most hideous thing I've seen."

"Ouch! Talk about being straightforward."

"But your music is lit. I really hope your band will make it big someday. Your mom deserves the jacuzzi. After all the years she had to put up with you," she smiled.

"Aww. That's probably the sweetest yet generic thing you've ever said to me. But, I'll take it, if I may."

"So cheers to finally finishing the album. And cheers to all the shit that you're going to endure after it!" Brynn raised her shooter.

I clinked mine to hers, and we both downed our drinks in no time. It didn't get us long to get drunk. Despite our disorientation, we made it safely to her apartment.

"Is it just me or is it really hot in here?" Brynn asked, taking her top off. She had a black, lacey bra on, which looked really good on her. She was stumbling to take off her shoes, so she ended up kicking them off while half of her body was lying on her bed.

"Here, let me help you."

"Thank you," she exhaled. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you when you're in London. "

Uh-oh. Rule number four was not to feel needy towards each other. Feeling needy will lead to feeling attached. Attachment will lead to commitments. And that was something we both have agreed not to have. But, I'll let it go this time. Considering how drunk Brynn was.

"You're going to have to kick your shoes yourself then, lass."

"No, I know. But like, you won't be here. To fuck me. It's going to be weird," she continued to mumble.

I looked at her and chuckled, as I laid next to her in her bed.

"Now you're being melodramatic. You can still fuck me tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the day after. I won't be gone till next week, so..." I traced my fingers along her arm. I could feel the skin instantly rattled at my touch.

Her eyes then met my gaze, her entire body stiffened as a bright blush creeped up her cheeks. "You have beautiful eyes," she said flatly.

"Well, uhm, thanks..." I was flustered by the sudden change in Brynn. She was not the type to throw out compliments, especially to me. It was definitely a side of her that I have yet to experience.

She then leaned over and softly kissed me. I kissed her back and we would usually tore each other's clothes at any chance we have, but her kiss felt different this time. It was so tender that it was making my heart skipped a beat.

No. No. This felt wrong.

"Brynn. I gotta go," I immediately stood up.

"What?"

"Uhm. See you in a bit," I straightened, waiving slightly at her as I walked out of her room.

Well, that was rule number five: Walk away when things are starting to feel weird.