Falling Apart at the Seams

Chapter Six

In all my life, I had never seen my sister smile as bright as she was right now, being home, and with Zayn.

It's true, I had resented him. I felt as if my sister liked him more than me, and that he was stealing her from me. It wasn't until now that I realized I should thank him. Because, even in such a traumatic time for my Zara, he could make her happy. He could make the sorrow go away, even for a little while.

I was jealous. I had always been jealous of my sister because she got everything, but this was different. Most of the time, I wanted to be her, but this was different. I wanted what she had. I wanted someone to be able to tell how in love someone and I were just by looking at us. I wanted someone to love me. I wanted love.

I smiled at Zara, and motioned I was going upstairs. As much as I loved her, and having her home, it was a bit overwhelming. All of today had been. She questioned me with her eyes, but just nodded.

I left without a goodbye, but no one seemed to notice, no one but Harry. His green eyes locked with mine for a moment before I turned towards the staircase. My heart started beating irregularly as I walked up the steps.

I walked over to my bookshelf as I entered my room, trying to find a nice book to curl up with. I picked up Divergent and sat it down on my desk. I quickly changed into some yoga pants and an old swim tee shirt, along with my fuzzy slippers. Not necessarily pretty, but hey, I could care less.

I sat down at my desk and opened up the book. I'd read it before, but Veronica Roth was such a good author, I could easily read it again. After about an hour of reading, I felt my eyes start to droop. I closed the book and laid my head on it, too lazy to move to my bed, and drifted to sleep.

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A knocking on my door woke me up suddenly. I jumped up and opened the door, very lightheaded from the suddenness of it all. A slightly embarrassed Harry stood in the doorway, but something overcame his eyes for a moment when they met mine. But just as soon as it was there, it was gone.

"I, uh, the lads and Zara are going out to dinner and wanted to know if you wanted to go." Harry said quietly.

"I'm still not feeling so hot, so you guys can go without me. I'll be fine here. Thanks for asking though." I replied with a small smile.

He just nodded and walked away. Confused, I closed the door and went back to my desk. I moved the book and opened my laptop, going on Tumblr. Yeah, I had a Tumblr, I was a teenage girl after all. After reblogging a few things, my phone buzzed, showing I had a text. I looked to see who it was and saw it was Jake.

Hey! Feeling any better? I missed you in class. We need to talk.

I sighed, and replied.

Nah, still not feeling great... And is text really the best to talk about it?

As my reply, my phone started ringing. I answered, knowing it was Jake.

"Hello?" I asked, out of instinct.

"Yeah, hey." He replied.

"Hey Jake..." I said, kind of awkwardly.

"So, uh, I really need to ask you something."

My heart started racing. Was he going to ask me to never speak to him again? To be his girlfriend? To be a secret? "Ask away," I replied, my throat tightened, even though I knew what I would answer.

"What are we? I mean, you kiss me yesterday, but you act all weird today? Did I do something wrong? Was it my breath?" Jake asked, a bit nervously.

"Jake, you did nothing wrong. It was a great first kiss-"

"Wait, that was your first? I'm so sorry! Your first kiss was in a car!"

"Jake! Chill, it's fine, I promise. It was nice. I just don't know how to act. I mean, I like you, but-"

"But what? Is there something wrong? Is there another guy? Is it Harry? Oh my god, it's Harry. I can't compete with a fricking British guy, especially one in a world famous boyband!"

"Nothing's going on with Harry and I! I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship yet. Can we start as friends and see where it goes?" As I said the first part, something changed in my stomach. I'm not sure what, but I could feel a difference.

"Uh, yeah, sure... Look, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later okay?" He said and hung up.

Sighing, I put my phone down and walked out of my room. I walked downstairs and headed towards the kitchen to make some chicken noodle soup. as I walked into the kitchen, though, I was surprised to see a body already in there.

"Why didn't you go with everyone?" I asked as I headed towards the cupboard with the soup cans.

"I didn't want to leave you home alone in case you needed something. You're sick." Harry replied with a shrug. "And I didn't really want to go anyways."

I nodded and attempted to get the can, but for some reason, my mom insisted on keeping them on the highest shelf that even I, standing at 5'7 couldn't reach. But before I could turn and ask Harry for help he was already grabbing it, leaving my body trapped between his and the cupboard.

He grabbed the can and put it down on the cupboard, his arms now trapping me in as well. I turned around to face him, my breath hitching when I realized how close we actually were.

"You know," he said in a deep husky voice, "if you weren't sick, I would kiss you."

The shocked look on my face made him laugh, but I couldn't think. "I, uh, Har-what?"

"But maybe getting sick is worth it..." He said more to himself. I looked him in the eyes, which seemed at least two shades darker than usual. Just as he started leaning in, I let my jelly legs collapse, making me come face to face with his crotch. I slid out of the way and stood up quickly.

"I, uh, bed. Night!" I said and left, almost tripping over my feet. Just as I started up the stairs, the door opened and everyone came in looking very confused. Disregarding everyone, I ran into my room and shut the door.

My heart was racing, and my breathing was heavy. But none of that compared to how fast my brain was turning, trying to figure out what happened. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. What was happening to me?

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Hey guys!!!! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to upload but I've been super busy! I had cross country and the fall play, which just ended! And auditions for the musical are on Wednesday so I won't have tons of time. But I hope to upload more around Christmas during winter break!

Thanks,

--Kat:)