Thinking

Chapter 1

"They said you felt something." It was a regular monotone voice. To me every voice was........boring. My head moves in a slight nod.
"Can you tell me what?"
I don't move.
A small barely recognizable sigh leaves his mouth as he scribbled something down.
"I felt......" I don't continue my sentence. My mouth hanged open trying to form something. I have his attentions.
I'm pleading for something, anything. Not so much as a sound. It takes him some restraint to not look disappointed.
"Maybe next time" is how he always ends the session. I don't know if he's trying to make me feel like I.......... Did something.
No.
That isn't the word I'm looking for.
Worked towards......
Reached for......
Achieved?
Yes, achieved. That's the one.
I get up and brush off my dark jeans before simply walking out of the room with my head down.
My family falls into step behind me and we leave. I ignore the.........elephant in the room ,well, car.
They wanted to know if I .............achieved anything.
If I answered they would only be disappointed.
I let the door slam shut as I slightly fast walked up to my room and closed the door leaning on it.
"Ok....." I said
"No," i wanted to correct myself
"Working on it." That's all I could bring myself to say.  The pounding in my head started.
This is your fault.
I wanted to blame my brain but it would only cause me more.........displeasure. My feet automatically headed for my bed and I let myself feel like I was falling for a moment.
Tired,
Exhausted,
Restless.
At that moment there were to may words for how I felt so I let my eyes close and felt myself slip into darkness.
~~~~
A small and timid knock woke me. "Melody. Breakfast."
I........resented, waking up early. This is the first time I have had to and I hated every moment of it.
Someone made the smart choice of...... Suggesting that I go to public school.
Like being around others would help me.
I slowly brought myself to get dressed. The reason school started so early was beyond me but believe it or not I was actually excited. Before now my mom would home school me and not to brag or anything but I was top of my class.

Get it.

Because I was the only one in the class....

Hey, i never said i was good at making jokes. 

~~~~~~~

I tried to stop myself from flinching at the sound of every locker being slammed shut. Then the annoying sound of laughter.

Ew, happiness

Ill try and contain my eye rolling when i start caring.

Nobody has spotted me yet so I continue to shuffle down the hall in my worn down black books and slightly ripped jeans.

The small slip of paper that was suppose to tell me where to go ended up being absolutely useless.

Class 3D my a**. 

You become a new kid when you either ask for directions or use a map. I chose the map. what could happen right? 

I walking into 8 walking skyscrapers and none of them were nice about it.

"Whats wrong with you? Can't you see I'm walking here, new kid?" one guy growls.

I'm doomed.

"I.....I......I'm"

I couldn't apologies. I'm not that rude, I wanted to but I just couldn't get it off the tip of my tongue.  

"you're what? stupid?" some kids behind the guy start laughing. I shove past them looking down and just wonder the halls not making eye contact.

A few minutes later the bell rings and i start getting frustrated. the halls have emptied and i stood there for a moment before dropping the map on the floor and kicking it away.

school is stupid and I already want to give up.