Soul Harbour

0.26|when missing someone|

0.26|from Sabah's recorded notes: when missing someone|

"What's wrong with Anthony these days?" I asked Auburn as we sat in the cool kitchen listening to some Spanish songs on the radio.

It had been a couple of weeks since we'd been alone again. Alone with each other. After Gordon, something had changed amongst us. We stick together more often. Anthony and I rallying around Auburn. It wasn't something we did on purpose but looking back I can see that it must have been apparent and quite worrisome to Auburn. If this is true, Auburn never let on.

She didn't want to go back to that incident at all. The way she had crumbled and nearly fallen apart, the way her life had been torn raw and naked in front of us, us who had had no idea of her past beyond what she had told us and what little we could have imagined.

Yes, it is strange yet true, that contrary to popular misconception us humans do live in the present. The past is like dirty laundry, kept aside until one really needs to wash away the grime and dirt. The future is so out of sight that we can only dream. It made me wonder what all didn't I know about Anthony too? It made me wonder what all I had subconsciously hidden from these two? And what all you lie unaware of as you sit here day after day listening to a story so wholly not about you.

Auburn sighed, her violet-blue eyes looking inattentively around the kitchen before she answered, "Well, he's been missing from our lives for what is nearly a week now."

Ah, the away matches. Truth be told, matches on a screen hardly ever tell us the full story. I smiled at Auburn as the both of us realised that we missed the blonde boy with his shy smiles and contagious enthusiasm. Auburn and I, we are poisoned vines and it gets dark without someone like Anthony who cares for us like a loving breeze caressing our lives.

Sometimes, I wondered what it would be if he knew his power over us, how we craved his sunlight, his happiness, his reassuring presence. Did he know that if he wanted he could haul Auburn away, tear us apart, restore us together...if he wanted?

"He hasn't even called since yesterday," Auburn frowned. "I feel like every time he leaves on an away match, he disappears off the face of the Earth!"

So they did talk on the phone. It was good to know that I wasn't the only one keeping them together, they seemed to be managing pretty well themselves. He had even convinced her to finally buy a local simcard. She was still convincing him to buy an apartment though. The lazy boy was still living in his hotel.

"I just realized," Auburn started and then stopped.

I looked up from the jars of coffee I was refilling, "That you guys are finally getting on?"

She gave me a look, "I...this weird emptiness, is this what everyone feels when someone is missing?"

"Homesickness for a person?" I asked, amused.

"Exactly."

"Indeed, it's not unnatural," I nodded, putting the jars back in place and sitting on a stool beside her.

"Do you feel it for him too?"

I laughed, "Yes, but I'm sure you miss him more than I. After all, I can't give you his endearing smiles and glances all day long. I have work to do."

She fiddled with her bracelet and spoke in a low, almost choking voice, "I can't believe I made people feel this way."

Truth be told, we hadn't actually referred to her past after the explanation she'd felt necessary to give to us and even then, Anthony had been better at it than me. You see, while Auburn ran, I was someone people ran away from. We were doomed, the pair of us. I was so silly.