Its been so long. I've started to loose myself, who I truly am. Someone that love company, and everyone loved me. Lately its started to show. Even my aunt knows somethings wrong, but my mum doesn't ? My own flesh and blood ? I can put on the fakest smile ever and she would fall for it. I miss the old me. The me everyone used to love to hate and hat to love. The me people would ask for advice anytime anywhere. But that me is gone. I didn't notice until it was to late. Know I'm determined to get myself back together, cause the longer I wait the more it hurts.
You know the girls you always see smiling, laughing, dancing, but deep inside she hurting more than ever? That's me. I'm not popular but I'm known. For the RIGHT reasons!
I'm Angel Adiola Alana OJo. 15 living with 2 parents and 3 siblings. My dad travels the world a lot being a business man and everything so I'm stuck with my mum (banker) and my brothers and sister. My brother 17 Jeremiah Joshua Ojo, the joker of the family. Andrew Adah Alvin Ojo 20, the player. And my little sister Jasmin Jadesola Josphine Ojo 13, the hottie. We make the Ojo siblings. All very different but closer than you can imagine. Half Nigerian half Cuban. As you can guess my dads Nigerian.
There's so much hatred in me. Weirdly to no one in particular. Or I can't remember. Is it ok for a 15 year old to hate her self with such passion. To think she uglier than the ugliest thing ? To be effected by words spoken by people she pays no attention to ? But I do. My heart aches everyday, for someone to make it stop. Someone that can bring back the genuine side of me. No more faking , pretending crying. The REAL me .
I've been told I'm pretty. Beautiful in fact. But somehow that makes me feel worse. I can't help it. I need someone to tell me that and doesn't only say it to get me in bed. That someone that knows me top to bottom without me knowing. The one I can be myself around and not be scared.
That ' ray of sunshine ' I've supposedly had has died out and has no intensions of coming back. EVER.
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Ermm first story guys so cut me some slack. Dunno if I should carry on
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Debbie
