Hard to Love

Chapter 19

DEDICATION GOES TO @GunpowderAndLead1 BECAUSE SHE IS CURRENTLY WRITING A BRILLIANT ROMANCE NOVEL AND I AM EDITING IT. YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT IT, I MUST SAY IT HAS HOOKED ME ALREADY!!! GO CHECK IT OUT :)

Chapter 19

Harry's POV

"Good night, beautiful." I let go of her fragile body knowing full well that I was turning down her offer of letting me stay longer.

It almost pained me to say the words because it was like I was giving up on her. I could have easily took this as an invitation to stay the night, but with Christina it means something totally different. Everything with her does. It's like I'm trying to date for the first time, not having a clue on what to do, and not having a strategy to make her mine. Christina is a whole other category, unlike any girl I have ever dated. She isn't easy, and that's what I love most about her, she is a challenge.

"I wish I could take you to the start, I'd never let you fall and break your heart." The lyrics of one of my songs came into my head as I drove home. It's easy to love, and I know she wants to be loved, I'm just the one that has to show her. I have to change her view on love.

Driving into my parkway I remembered that I told Louis to stay over, and he also did too because his car was the only one left in the front of my house. I walked in and found him sitting on my couch playing FIFA. I swear he's addicted to it.

"Hey mate, I'm home." I called as I made my way into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Oh hey! You okay?" Louis had paused the game and met me in the kitchen, sitting on the bar stool.

I leaned on the counter opposite of him and chugged my water, not realising how thirsty I've been. Setting the glass down, I gathered my thoughts. "Lou, I need advice."

His smile was devious and clever at the same time and I had a feeling he already knew who this was about. "Go on." He replied and gestured with his hand to continue.

"It's Christina. Damn." I hate talking about my feelings. Usually it's easy for me to get with a girl, but I've never had to fight so hard to get someone like her. "She's driving me crazy." I sighed. "With all the shit that's happened to her, I haven't made a move at all. I've just been there for her, but I don't know how long I can bare being just friends. It's almost like she needs me, especially today when she called me and was crying. I was the only one who was there for her. I just don't know how to get out of this friend stage with her and show her that I want to be more with her. It's so hard to show her though because she's been so vulnerable and fragile and I didn't want to make a shitty move like last time and get yelled at. I just don't know what to do mate." I let it all out, everything that has been bothering me, I laid it all on the table.

Louis raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Well." He started. "First, you sound like a hormonal teenage girl." He laughed.

"Louis!" I picked up a dish towel and threw it at him.

"Okay, okay." He paused and cleared his throat. "I think that until she builds her self confidence back up, she won't be ready for you to make a move on. You need to wait till the impromptu moment where she is ready and you are too. Right now, you are not speaking from your heart but from you lower half mate. You need to wait till the right time and don't rush. Enjoy this time you have with her now, even if you two aren't together, you are still in each other's presense. The key here is that lately she has been needing you. Not me, or Liam, or someone else, but you. That speaks volumes right there. That means she trusts you, and now you're already a few steps ahead of the game. Wait right now, build your friendship, and then the right time will come. I guarantee this."

I thought it over. It's true that she has been needing me and that can be looked at as a form of trust. Or is she just vulnerable still and acting this way because I was the one who saved her from that night? I remembered the words Stella told me when we went for coffee, "She has trust issues, Harry. She only trusts me because I grew up with her, but with everyone else, it is very difficult. That is why she is giving you a hard time, she can't trust you yet."

If she trusts me then this is a good sign, especially if Stella is the only one she appears to trust... So many things were rushing through my head and I didn't know where to start.

"Harold!" Louis yelled, bringing out of my train of thought. I looked up at him as he was about to talk. "Listen, you're thinking way too much about this. Take it slow and enjoy the roller coaster that is life." He concluded.

"Isn't that something Zayn would say?" I questioned, puzzled.

"Who cares, it worked with my advice!" Louis threw up his arms and headed over to my fridge, grazing through the various options.

Just take it slow. "She did ask me tonight if I wanted to stay longer..." I piped up.

Lou stopped what he was doing and looked at me with an arched brow. "She did?" I nodded. "Well, she wanted you to stay longer. That could mean she wanted to get with you, or she just wanted you to stay longer so she can have that sense of protection you create."

"And which one is my case?" I laughed at his reasonings.

"That is a good question." He stated, then went back to looking for food.

I groaned feeling more than frustrated now. I got more water then sat on the bar where Louis was. Once he brought five or six containers of food out, he saw my expression. "Listen, Harry. She is a troubled girl, she's been through a ton of shit back home and now is dealing with more here. Give her a break if she isn't ready to be in a relationship. Think about her and what would benefit her in the end. That is your answer."

I pondered his words the rest of the night. While laying in bed I played back the whole day in my head, from when I picked her up at Uni, to when I said good night. So many things she said could have meant so much more, but I just wasn't sure. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. It was getting late and the lads and I have a meeting with management tomorrow morning.

I shifted onto my side and shut my eyes. All I could think about was her, and lucky for me she showed up in my dreams. Brown hair with bits of blonde swaying in the breeze, and her green-blue eyes looking past my face and into my heart. I drifted off with her, and only her in my head.

A/N: I really liked this chapter ha! I thought it was a lot of fun to write! I'm so sorry it took a massive amount of time for me to update, I had exams and so I was a bit stressed. I am done and now on holiday so I hope to be updating more, at least once a week.

Tell me what you thought about this chapter and I hope you all have a brilliant day/night!