Hard to Love

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"That's right bitch, feels good huh?" He screamed down at me with such a wicked grin painted onto his face. 

I screamed and screamed but nobody came to save me. He was hurting me, abusing my body, taking my virtue, taking my peace of mind. Forever. 

He continued to hurt me, not stopping till he got what he wanted from me. Like I was a toy, use me until you're finished, then just throw me away. It hurt. Everything hurt.

"Scream all you want, nobody is coming for you!" The man yelled then slapped me again and again.

I screamed again, this time it was louder and more real.

"Shh, shh. It's okay babe I'm here." I felt someone whisper in my ear as I was shaken awake. I opened my eyes and saw Harry leaning over me, a worried look on his face. He held my body in his arms and pulled me up onto his chest as he sat up in bed.

My breathing was so heavy and my heart still couldn't catch up to my brain, realising it was just a dream. A terrible, horrible dream that went a little something like that in real life. I closed my eyes and slowed down my breathing once I noticed my hands shaking.

"Shh, it was just a dream." Harry slowly moved side to side, rocking me. 

It was just a dream. I kept saying that over and over in my head. This was now the second time tonight that I woke up with a nightmare from the raping. Harry held me tight to his chest, his strong arms engulfing me and making me feel safe. I traced my fingers over the tattooed ship on his arm. Then I moved to the sparrows on his chest, and down to the butterfly on his belly. I moved a little to reach the butterfly as I ran my finger over his inked skin. Harry watched me intently, and I noticed his breathing quicken when my fingers touched the soft skin around the butterfly.

I looked up at him, even in the dark he was beautiful. I could only make out some of his features from the small amount of light slipping through the window shutters. It must be early morning. His eyes glistened and stared into mine. He bent down and slowly pressed his lips to my forehead. I momentarily shut my eyes and savoured the feel of his lips on my skin, so warm and soft. He let his lips linger there, looking down into my eyes, green to green. I felt like I was under a spell.

I quickly came to my senses and closed my eyes, laying my head back against his chest, pretending that nothing happened between us just then. 

"Try to fall back asleep." He whispered into my ear.

Without saying anything I sat up, letting his arms drop from my body, and laid back down onto my pillow. He draped the sheet over my body and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm over my torso and bringing me back against his body.

"Harry." I whispered and he mumbled an answer. "Can you sing to me?"

"'Course love." He cleared his voice. "And I'll be gone gone tonight, the fire beneath my feet is burning bright. The way that I've been holding on so tight, with nothing in between. The story of my life, I'lll take her home. I drive all night, to keep her warm and time, is frozen."

With that, I fell back asleep, only to be woken up one more time by another night terror.

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The smell of breakfast tea brewing woke me up in the morning. I sat up in bed, my body weak and with an odd sore feeling, and leaned against my headboard.

As much as I wish it was a dream, last night was real. Harry's clothes were still on the floor, I was still wearing a baggy white shirt, and my body was still sore and injured. It was all true.

Like my life couldn't of gotten any better. I've been cursed at, I've been beaten, and now I've been raped. What more could I possibly go through before good things start happening to me?

I heard someone singing as they made their way up the stairs. An ironic happy tune. "Best I ever had, hips don't lie. You make me wanna sszzzz one more night, irreplaceable. Crazy, crazy! Oh I don't know how else to sum it up, cuz words ain't good enough. There's no way I can explain your love... no! It's better than words whoa whoa oh whoa!"

I was greeted by the curly haired Cheshire boy that saved my life last night. He wore a goofy grin that made me smile back.

"Good morning love! I made you some cinnamon rolls and Yorkshire tea, come on before they both get cold." He pulled off the thin bed sheets and picked me up without any struggle. I locked my fingers together behind his neck, loving the feeling of his warm body close to mine.

Once we were downstairs he sat me on a bar stool in front of all the food and a big mug of tea. He sat next to me and started putting rolls in his plate. He sipped on the piping hot tea and dug into his breakfast. I looked at him, emotionless and silent.

"What?" He asked with food in his mouth, looking so adorable and innocent.

"How... how can you just act like nothing happened? You made cinnamon rolls like it’s my birthday or something when everything from last night happened." I was angry that he thought food and a happy smile would cover up the pain that I was forced to go through.

"I thought it would cheer you up." He said swallowing the food, now looking defeated. "I was just trying to help."

I felt terrible now, I know he was just trying to help me. But in all reality, this memory will never leave me and there's nothing that can fix it now. I got raped, I can't just go on living and pretend it didn't happen to me.

"I appreciate it, and I'm sorry." I said looking down and closing my eyes.

My mum always told me things get better when you just close your eyes. When my dad would be upset and start yelling at my mum, I would be close by watching. Mum could tell by the look on my face that I was a mix of emotions, but she always told me to close my eyes to get rid of the bad stuff. It felt like I was blocking out the world and I think that's what she meant. I'll never forget my life back in Manchester, the good and the bad.

I felt a hand on top of mine and looked up to see Harry giving me a reassuring half smile. "I know this is hard, but it's going to get better. I promise you." I nodded to him and smiled a little.

He continued to eat and I started to eat. The smell was fantastic and I was starving, but then all of a sudden a queasy feeling hit my stomach. I rushed out of the kitchen and kneeled over the toilet vomiting everything I had in my system. Over and over it came out until I was laying on the floor sweating with an achy stomach.

Harry had put my hair up and rubbed my back while I was over the toilet. He fetched me a warm towel to put over my forehead and sat with me. What else could he do really...

Why did I just randomly throw up? I don’t really think its from my milkshake last night. Oh no, last night!

"Harry, you don't think I'm..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. The thought of it made me want to lean over the toilet again. This cannot be happening.

"No, no." Harry shook his head, but something in his features told me he wasn't completely sure.

A/N: Hiii! So these last few chapters have been very powerful, and now I've left you with a cliff hanger haha! Just to make something clear, you can show signs of pregnancy after being raped. I've looked into it. The body is so shocked after being raped that the woman tends to get chills, vomits, looses appetite, and sometimes even faints. So that is just a little background info on that, and who knows Christina might be pregnant....

Please vote and comment, I love constructive criticism so if you give me that, I will def check out any of your works and/or fan you!

I hope you all have an amazing Sunday! Cheers! Bye Lovelies xxx