rants | stnar

my story (plus)

so the my story chapter i posted earlier as by far the hardest thing i have ever had to do in terms of this book. that being said i want to lay out why i did write it, and some other things.

What it WASN'T meant to be:

1. I didnt intend for it to say anything badly about any of those people because if I'm honest I still talk to ALL of the people (some more some less) that i mentioned in that. I dont want to make them sound like bad people because im sure they had their own reason they did what they did. i was just trying to lay it out from my perspective

2. a way to get attention. idk if anyone thought this or not but i wasnt doing it for attention or for anyone to feel bad for me. i dont want people to feel bad for me because i know for sure people have been through worse.

3. to hate on anyone. believe it or not, like i said previously, i have no hatred or dislike to any of those people. if i didnt like them i wouldnt put them in. because i can guarantee you that there are people i didnt put in there. again. I LIKE ALL OF THEM.

What it WAS meant to be:

1. a way for you to get to know me. there honestly are very very few people who know all of that stuff and i decided to take the bold move to share it with people. and honestly i may take it down because it wasnt fun to write.

2. where i am now. all of that shaped who i am, whether good or not. i mean, you dont see me in big friend groups anymore. you dont see me trying to help people get out of arguments. you dont see me talking to people consistently if i dont trust them or like them. i want everyone that i have in my life currently in my life. let me repeat. i want everyone that i have in my life currently in my life. i dont want anyone to think i dont appreciate them or like them. (also i know most people say they love their friends and like i understand but im kinda awkward so i dont really say that but i do i just dont really say it because im honestly just far too awkward to say that so yeah)

FINAL DISCUSSION

so yeah. that chapter was honestly so hard to write as i have said multiple times. like thinking back on my life and reliving all those moments was emotional and i remember the nights of crying myself to sleep and its not fun to remember that.

i like (love) you all. everyone who is reading this and my friends. (so basically the people reading this i guess)

stay cool
stay awesome
and stay alive

goodbye ya nerd, go to sleep. <3

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